Title: Saying Goodbye
Season: 5- AU after episode 5-15
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the CW and the Creators of One Tree Hill. But Boy what I wouldn’t do if I owned Nathan or Julian. ;-)
Category: One-shot Angst/Romance
~Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans…big plans to find your perfect match…the one that completes you, but as you get older, you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you’ve made were simply plans. Because at the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind…You want it all to have mattered~ (Voiceover Ep. 5-15)
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment my feelings changed, but I know it started that night. She came to my door disheveled, frustrated, and carrying Angie. After everything that had been going wrong lately, I didn’t have the heart to turn her away.
So I opened the door for her and I’m pretty sure that’s how it happened. That night with Brooke drawing her new designs, and me playing with Angie…it felt like we were a family. I know, it sounds ridiculous especially since Brooke and I haven’t been together in a little over five years…
But that doesn’t make it any less true. When I placed the covers over her, sat down with Angie asleep in my arms, and Brooke cuddled into my side…it felt like home. A feeling of contentment settled over me calming emotions that had been raging inside me since Lindsay left.
I walked quickly through the crowded airport trying to find Brooke and Angie before it was too late. I made my way to her house this morning because we were supposed to take Angie to the beach and when I got there Brooke was almost in tears.
They moved up Angie’s departure date to today. So, instead of driving to the beach I drove them to the airport. I glanced around and caught sight of Brooke holding Angie close to her as two women stood in front of them talking.
I jogged over to where they were standing. Brooke glanced over her shoulder and spotted me. I saw a look of relief pass over her face and I gave her a small smile.
“Sorry, it took forever to park the car. Thank god I got here in time.”
I placed a hand on the small of Brooke’s back as she cuddled her face up to the side of Angie’s. Her voice came out in a whisper as she spoke.
“Hey baby girl…don’t you forget me…everything’s okay now…you’re going to be okay.”
She closed her eyes and I watched a lone tear course down her cheek.
“I love you sweetie.”
She looked up at me and gave me a teary eyed smile. I took Angie from her arms and bounced her a little bit.
“Hey there Angie Bear…you take care of yourself. We’re going to miss you.”
I kissed the top of her head and one of the woman moved forward. I released Angie to her and they smiled, thanked Brooke, and made their way to the terminal with Angie’s baby face looking back at us. I heard a quiet sob come from Brooke’s throat and I wrapped an arm around her.
She clung to my body and we stayed in that position until Angie was safely on the flight back home. I pulled her into me, kissed the side of her head and started moving us in the direction of the exit. She walked with me, but didn’t once make a sound other than a sniffle here or there.
She fit in my arms as perfectly as she did when we were sixteen. I’ve gone through my share of woman and I’ve been indecisive every time, but now I realize what I didn’t back then. When I was younger I had this huge plan of how my life would be…
I was in love with Peyton Sawyer and I was going to make her love me too…I thought she was the perfect one for me, but somewhere along the line I fell in love with her best friend and I’ve spent the last five years running from that love.
I went from Peyton to Brooke…to Peyton…to Ana briefly…then back to Brooke…then it was Peyton again…and when she said no to my marriage proposal…It ended…for good…then it was Lindsay and now…well now I’m single.
At first I wasn’t happy about that, but now…I couldn’t be happier because I’ve figured it out…it’s Brooke. It’s always been Brooke; I was just too stupid to recognize it. I mean yeah, I loved Peyton, but there was always something missing with her. It took me five years, but I now know what we were missing…
It’s the feeling I get when I’m with Brooke. That feeling of being with someone who understands you completely, who always knows the right thing to say to make you feel better, who remembers the small things and is there for the big moments.
The person who can make you feel at peace when everything around you is falling apart. To be honest I owe my little revelation to Angie. If Brooke hadn’t taken her in and the three of us didn’t spend all this time together…I’m not sure I would have seen it.
Brooke calling my name brought me out of my thoughts. I glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow.
“Are you alright Luke? You look like you’re a thousand miles away.”
I nodded and pulled her tighter against me as I got out the keys and used the keyless entry on the car.
“Yeah, sorry about that. I was just thinking about how happy Angie’s parents will be to have you back.”
I opened the car door for her and as she got in I shut the door and leaned against it so I was looking at her.
“You did a really amazing thing here Brooke Davis…I’m proud of you.”
I nodded and made my way around to the driver’s side of the car. I got in, started the car, and we headed back to her house. The drive home was quiet and my thoughts drifted back to the night of Angie’s first doctor’s appointment.
I didn’t realize sending her back was going to hurt this bad…I can’t imagine what Brooke is feeling right now…
I watched trees fly by as Lucas drove us back to the house. I can’t believe Angie is really gone…I sighed and glanced at Lucas out of the corner of my eye. I could see his brow scrunched up and there was a look of concentration on his face.
These past couple of weeks have been amazing. Spending all this time with Angie and Luke…it brought up feelings that I thought I had long since buried…apparently not far enough. I have been in love with Lucas Scott since I was sixteen years old…
I thought when he and Peyton got together senior year I had finally resolved my issues with everything that we had, but I guess that was just wishful thinking. I’ve dated several people since Lucas, but there was always something missing with them.
I could never figure out what it was…until these past couple of weeks. It’s the way he makes me feel…the feelings he evokes in me. No one else has been able to fit with me as well as I fit with him. He knows me…he knows the person I was, the person I’ve become and the journey I took to get there.
He doesn’t just like wild Brooke; he likes sensitive Brooke, scary Brooke, angry Brooke, and Compassionate Brooke, all of me. The whole package. When Lucas looks at me, I feel like he’s looking into my soul.
I’ve spent years burying these feelings behind walls, because I thought it was too late. I thought he had moved on, but after spending the last few weeks with him and Angie…it’s got me thinking that maybe…just maybe there is something still there.
The car stopped and I shook myself out of my thoughts. He got out of the car and as I was undoing my seatbelt he opened my door.
I smiled got out and we walked to the house together. Once we were inside I grabbed the phone, picked up Angie’s purple monkey from the counter, and plopped on the couch. Lucas followed my lead and sat next to me.
It was quiet for a few minutes before he spoke.
“I will be.”
His hand came up to my chin and moved my face so I was looking at him. His voice was soft and there was warmth on his face.
“Brooke, I meant it when I said this was an amazing thing you did for Angie. You don’t even realize what a remarkable woman you are. You do so much to help the people around you. You save people Brooke…and I’m just happy I can be a part of it.”
He took a deep breath and I swallowed hard and tried to blink back tears.
“I told you this once before when we were younger, but I’m going to tell you again. You are meant to do great things…you’re going to change the world Brooke Davis…and I hope you let me stick around so I can be there for it.”
I turned my body quickly and threw my arms around his neck. His hands wrapped around my body and we stayed like that for a while. When we pulled away from each other I caught his eye and spoke.
“Thanks Lucas…for everything. For helping me out that night when I couldn’t get Angie to stop crying…for all the trips to the park…for coming to her doctors visits…for all the late nights…for sticking around during the surgery…for the airport…”
I took a deep breath and I felt my eyes brimming with tears.
“I wouldn’t have made it through these past couple of weeks without your help.”
I saw a smile light up his face and my heart melted.
“There isn’t anywhere I’d rather be. Angie is a great baby and I know you’re going to miss her…we both are, but all that matters is she’s going to be okay now. She going to live a long life because of you.”
I few stray tears fell down my cheeks and he reached out a hand a wiped them away. I nodded.
“And because of you Luke.”
“Who knows maybe someday soon you’ll get a baby you can keep or maybe you’ll meet the perfect guy and have your own.”
His hand came down and clasped mine. I looked at our entwined hands and let out a content sigh before looking into his eyes.
“I think…I think I might have already met the guy for me…”
I saw his lip turn up at the corner slightly and a glint in his eyes.
“Anyone I know?”
He nodded and pulled me over so I was leaning against him. I placed my hands on his chest and his arms wrapped themselves around me. I felt his breathing slow and I spoke in a low voice.
“Where do we go from here Luke?”
He kissed the top of my head lightly and I felt him shrug.
“We take it one day at a time.”
One day at a time…I could do that…Angie might be gone and the hole she’s left will take time to heal, but the small amount of time she spent with us…has opened my eyes…made me see what I’ve spent years ignoring…
I love Lucas Scott and I can’t say for sure he feels the same way, but I know he cares and for right now I’m willing to take whatever I can get…because sometimes saying goodbye doesn’t have to be the end…sometimes it’s just the beginning of something better…