The Dark Side of The Moon 12/14

Title: The Dark Side of The Moon
Rating: R
Authors: Sxymami0909 and Xtremeroswellia
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Pairing: Stiles/Lydia, Isaac/Allison, Scott/Kira, Derek, Deaton, Sheriff Stilinski,
Wordcount: 99,326
Timeline: Season 3B
Banner: By Sxymami0909
Parts: 12/14
Summary: The ritual is done, but the consequences aren't over. The door inside Stiles' head is still open and they're running out of time to get it closed. Lydia's powers are growing and Derek might hold the key to a link in her past. With Stiles slowly losing his mind and Lydia being the only person who can help him keep it together, the pack is in a race against time to help their friend. Will they be able to close the door in time or will Stiles be lost to them forever?
Previous Chapters: | One | Two | Three | Four |Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven |

Chapter 12

He woke up sometime the next morning, his body completely relaxed as he lay in bed, Lydia’s head resting on his chest, her hair spread out over his skin. He held his breath for a moment, slowly lifting his hands and counting his fingers. He exhaled slowly when he only counted to ten. This was real. Somehow. He laid his head back down on the pillow, gazing at her sleeping form with warmth in his eyes. She was real. They’d spent the night together, making love and holding each other and talking.

I’m not a virgin anymore, he thought with a tiny grin.

He reached down and gently slid his fingers through her hair. God she was so beautiful it almost hurt. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, letting his eyes close once more as he thought about what the day was going to bring. Tonight was the ritual. One way or another it was going to be over with. He just prayed that they were all going to make it out. He’d faced death more than once because running with wolves tended to have a high price. He’d actually died not that long ago. For sixteen hours. It had been terrifying but he’d done it willingly to save his dad’s life. But facing the possibility -- again -- that Lydia might die…

It was more than terrifying. That it might happen because of him was almost paralyzing. His breathing hitched and he swallowed hard, digging his nails into the palm of his hand. Don’t panic, he thought, willing his body to obey his thoughts for a change. Stay calm.

Lydia frowned in her sleep and shifted slightly her legs brushing against warm skin. She could feel the pressure of a hand in her hair and suddenly her chest was filled with an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Her eyes flew open with a soft gasp and her hands clenched the body beneath her. She blinked, confused and tried to figure out what had startled her awake. The heavy thumping of a heart beneath her head made her lift her head enough to see Stiles. “What’s wrong?” She asked her voice still hoarse with sleep.

Lydia slid one hand across his skin and rested it on his stomach as she watched him trying to figure out what was going on in his head.

Stiles grimaced involuntarily because this was so not how he’d pictured the morning going. Like how romantic honey I’m having a panic attack. Awesome. He opened his eyes, the panic there already obvious on his face. He opened his mouth but couldn’t manage any words, just a panicked inhalation of breath as he shook his head.

It took Lydia a minute to wake up enough to realize what was going on. She gripped the sheet and sat up holding it to her body. “Breathe,” she said as she reached out and gripped Stiles’ cheek. “Come on Stiles, just breathe. Focus on my voice and follow it back to me,” she whispered, her knees digging into the mattress as she sat on them beside him, her heartbeat thudding erratically in her chest as fear curled low in her stomach. Lydia had no idea why he was so worked up or what set him off, but she needed him to calm down.

Nodding so she knew he’d heard her and understood, he exhaled shakily, hot tears stinging his eyes. God how embarrassing. No wonder he’d still been a seventeen year old virgin. He was pathetic. He listened to the sound of her voice, focusing on it as intently as he could and then repeating the deep breathing, pain shooting through his hand as he dug his fingernails into his skin so hard. After a long couple of moments, he nodded, swallowing hard. “Okay. I’m okay.” He sat up slowly, rubbing a hand over his face and shutting his eyes. “God. Sorry. I’m sorry.”

Lydia frowned, “Why are you apologizing? Never apologize for something like that,” she responded fiercely. “Hey look at me,” she cupped his cheek, “I love every crazy part of you,” she teased her expression softening. “Are you okay now? Do you need anything?” Lydia hadn’t realized how severe Stiles’ panic attacks were until she just felt one, which was not pleasant in the slightest.

Stiles couldn’t help the wave of relief that washed over him when he realized she wasn’t the least bit upset. “I’m okay now,” he whispered, turning his head to look at her, and trying to smile but not quite managing it. He reached up, covering her hand with his. “Thanks.” He exhaled, shoulders slumping a little. “Really not how I planned this morning to go.”

Lydia arched an eyebrow, “Haven’t you learned that planning things out never seems to work for any of us?” She asked, “Playing it by ear always works better.” She knew that Stiles was self-conscious about his panic attacks, but he didn’t need to be. Not with her. Lydia had seen worse and she hated when people gave Stiles a hard time because of them.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess I should have known better, huh?” He rubbed a hand over his face. It had been a long time since he’d had a panic attack in front of anyone other than Lydia or Scott, thankfully. They’d never give him a hard time about it. He hadn’t been so fortunate when he was younger, though. Not when it came to other kids, who didn’t understand things like anxiety or losing a parent at a young age or not being able to sleep at night or having ADD.

Lydia smiled, “I like that you keep trying though, it sort of says a lot about the person you are.” She admitted as she laid back down again resting her head on Stiles’ chest beneath his chin.

“Yeah? You think so?” Stiles slid his hand up and into her hair once more and smiled.

“Good morning,” she said softly as she grinned up at him and brushed a kiss against his lips.

Stiles kissed her back softly as he relaxed back against the pillow. “Good morning,” he whispered as his heart rate began to return to its normal speed once more.

Lydia grinned. “This is nice, just us, relaxing.” she told him as she let her fingertips draw patterns on the skin of his arm. “Do you think your Dad is home?” She asked lifting her head just barely to glance at the clock. It was still early morning, but Lydia figured if the Sheriff was home he probably would have knocked on the door or said something to them.

He considered that for a moment. “I usually wake up when he comes home.” His dad wasn’t always very quiet. Not that he didn’t always try to be, he just wasn’t great at being successful with it. “No, I don’t think so. He probably had to work over. That happens a lot.”

“Hm,” she said thoughtfully, “We should check on him a little later, maybe bring him some breakfast...we can go out and grab something from the diner in town for us and stop by the station after,” Lydia suggested. It was strange, the protective feeling she got when she thought about Stiles and his Father.

Lydia knew it probably sounded silly, but over the past week that she’d been with them, it almost kind of felt like having a real family. Something she didn’t even realize she was missing until it was there.

Stiles’ chest tightened at her suggestion, but in a good way. How had he gotten so lucky? He didn’t know, but he still couldn’t help but wonder if it was all somehow a dream. Like maybe when he’d crashed his jeep a few weeks ago he’d hit his head so hard it sent him into a coma and he was dreaming all of this. The fact that she not only loved him, but seemed to care so much about his dad meant the world to him. “Yeah, that sounds really good, Lyds,” he whispered.

Lydia smiled, “I love when you call me that,” she whispered. It wasn’t something she would normally mention, but she felt like when it was just the two of them she could be as honest as she wanted without being judged for anything she said.

“Yeah?” He made a mental note to call her that more often if he had the chance. If they survived the day. God he hoped they survived the day. He warned his brain to focus on Lydia and not terrible possibilities because that was only going to induce another panic attack.

“We should stay in bed a little longer...it’s warm and you’re comfortable.” Lydia punctuated her statement by sliding her leg between his.

He started to say something else when she slid her leg between his and he swallowed hard. “Uh, yeah, if you keep that up we’re going to be here all day,” Stiles informed her, arching his eyebrows.

Lydia chuckled, “You amuse me.” She pressed a kiss to his chest and sighed. “Fine, ruin my fun. I should probably get up and go shower anyway if we’re going to get breakfast.” She said while glancing up at Stiles from under her lashes. “I could probably be persuaded to let you come with me if you’re so inclined.” She commented as she sat up, the sheet still draped across her body.

Dear God, he thought. I take back every time I didn’t believe you existed. He sat up too. “Uh, yes please. I mean, you know, showering together conserves water, which is good for the environment and I like the environment which is why I don’t litter.” He grinned at her.

A bubble of laughter broke from Lydia’s throat. He was adorable and eager and a lot more attractive than most people gave him credit for. She dropped her feet to the floor and stood bringing the sheet with her. “Well, come on then boy who loves the environment. If we’re quick we might even have some time to be dirty before we get clean.” She said with a wink as she started for the bedroom door.

On second thought, if he did end up dying today, he thought, he’d end up dying really, really happy.

______

Isaac gripped the black weapon in his hand his brows furrowing in confusion as he tried to figure out what it did. He ran his hand along the smooth surface before turning and slipping it into the black duffle bag. He had been at Allison’s for close to an hour helping her get things ready to bring over to the ritual.

Technically neither of them needed to bring anything but themselves, but Allison wanted to be prepared for anything and Isaac couldn’t really blame her, especially with their luck. He turned back to the desk and spotted two crossbows, one smaller than the other. “Hey, uh do you want me to toss both of these in the bag?” He asked.

Allison looked over from where she was strapping on her knives, considering. She was seriously hoping they wouldn’t have to utilize any of the weapons she was hauling to Deaton’s for the ritual, but one too many things tended to go wrong when they all gathered outside of school. “Yeah, just in case,” she said quietly, reaching up and tying her hair back into a ponytail. She wanted to keep her hair out of her face just in case, too.

She’d debated on filling her dad in on what was happening, but had decided against it. Really there wasn’t anything he could do except worry and he did enough of that as it was. She’d tell him after it was over, when Stiles and Lydia were both awake again and Stiles wasn’t losing his mind and Lydia wasn’t trapped in his mind.

Isaac nodded and grabbed one at a time dropping them carefully into the bag. When he was finished he turned and watched Allison moving around her face stoic as she strapped on enough weapons to make him nervous. Isaac rested his hand against the desk, “How are you holding up?” He asked casually keeping his tone light.

She kept her eyes on the ground for a moment. “I’m glad we have a plan. I just wish we knew more about how Lydia’s powers actually worked. I mean if we did maybe there would be another way.” She looked up at him. “But...if I said I wasn’t worried you’d know I was lying anyway so...I’m worried.”

Isaac hesitated before taking the few steps to close the distance between them. He placed a hand on her arm and tilted his head to catch her gaze. “It’s okay to be worried. I think everyone’s a little worried.” Isaac admitted. “I’m not sure knowing more about Lydia’s powers would help.” He paused when he realized what he said might be taken the wrong way. “What I meant is that maybe it’s not only her banshee power, but her actual connection to Stiles that’s sort of you know uh helping?” He suggested even though he knew it came out as more of a question.

Isaac wasn’t great at comforting, but he often tried because Allison meant something to him. But he seriously needed to work on his delivery.

Allison looked down at his hand on her arm and then looked up at him, meeting his eyes. She relaxed a bit, nodding and a faint smile tugged at her mouth. “Yeah, you’re probably right. And I know from experience that the easy way usually only makes things harder in the end.” That and most of the time there just wasn’t an easy way to do anything when it came to their kinds of problems. “So...you’re worried, too?”

Isaac shrugged, “I know Stiles and I don’t always get along,” or ever lately, he added silently, “But he’s Scott’s best friend and he’s part of the group, a big part. And Lydia, well I don’t know her well, but what I do know is that’s she’s strong and brave and she’s a really good friend to you.” He responded quietly. “I just want everyone to get out of this alright.” He told her with a shrug, not big on the whole emotional side of things.

“That’s because you’re a good guy, Isaac. And if this calms down soon, I’ll talk to Stiles and find out what his problem is, although I kind of suspect what it is already.” She smiled faintly, reaching up and brushing a stray curl off his forehead.

God, she’s beautiful. Isaac angled his head into her touch a small smile pulling at his lips. He relished the small touches he got from Allison. It was uncommon for people to touch him; really Allison was the only one who did. She was the only person who he didn’t wince at when she reached a hand out to him. Years of abuse by his Father’s hand sort of damaged him in that area.

Not that Isaac didn’t crave human touch; he did especially from the brunette hunter in front of him.

The smile he gave her was one that was too sweet to describe and she found herself unable to stop herself from standing on her tiptoes (why was everyone so TALL?) and kissing him very softly on the lips.

Isaac’s eyes widened in surprise at the feel of her soft lips against his, but his shock didn’t last long. He stepped closer wrapping his hand around her waist slowly and tugged her body against his as he pressed his lips more firmly against hers. The kiss was quick, but he managed to cram as much feeling into it as he could. When he shifted back he was watching Allison closely, “What was that for?”

“Because you were standing there looking very adorable and…” She shrugged. “I wanted to.” A smile tugged at her lips as she watched him. “I’ve been wanting to for awhile. And I know we agreed to wait to figure things out until everything was sorted out with Stiles’ problem, but…”

“But I’m an incredibly attractive werewolf and you couldn’t wait?” He supplied as a silly grin pulled at his lips. “Maybe after tonight we can...get some pizza or something sometime. You know the two of us, just us to be clear.” Isaac added.

Allison grinned. “Isaac, are you asking me on a date?”

“Uh,” Isaac lifted his hand up and scratched the back of his neck, “Well I mean, yeah if that’s what you think we should call it because we can call it something else if you want, I’m open to suggestions.” He offered.

Her eyes were bright as she smiled up at him. “No. I think we can call it a date.” She reached out and gave his arm a gentle squeeze before moving back to finish getting ready. God help her, she was falling for another werewolf.

Her dad? Was going to kill her.

______

Scott pulled his bike up to the front of Kira’s house and kicked the stand down letting it idle as he pulled off his helmet. He hooked it on the bar handle finally shutting the bike as he glanced up at her house and pursed his lips. It was less than three hours until the ritual. In less than three hours he was going to be sending his best friend into a sleep that he might not come out of. Lydia too. Scott hated that he had to stay behind and couldn’t be more help other than handing over some of his energy or power, whatever he was doing.

He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. That was another thing that was bugging him. He didn’t exactly know how or what to expect outside of the basics. Deaton was keeping things pretty hush, hush. Scott shook himself from his thoughts, got off his bike and made his way up the path to the Yukimura household. Scott cleared his throat and reached for the bell ringing it gently with his finger.

Kira answered the door only moments later, offering him a smile before she looked over her shoulder. “Dad, I’m leaving for awhile,” she called.

“With Scott, right? Good luck, Honey, I think he likes you, too!” her dad called from another room.

She shut her eyes, cringing. God. So awkward. Face flushed, she turned to look at Scott again.

Scott did his best to hold back his grin at her Father’s words. Personally he liked Mr. Yukimura. “Hey,” he said holding out a hand for Kira to take, “How are you?” Between being worried about Stiles and Lydia all day he had been excited to see Kira. He was glad she offered to help them out and that Deaton thought it was a good idea.

Kira smiled as she took his hand, letting him lead her out of the house as she shut the door behind her. “I’m okay. I’m good. How are you though?” She knew how worried he was about his best friend and Lydia. She didn’t blame him at all. Rituals were heavy things, not that she’d participated in any before. But she’d spent the last twenty-four hours reading about this one, and researching every aspect of it that she could. She was just glad that Lydia had been willing to give her a copy of it.

Scott glanced at Kira and shrugged, “Not great, but I’m holding it together. I guess I’m a little worried about how things are going to go down tonight. Stiles is my best friend,” he paused when they reached his motorcycle and turned to face Kira. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost Stiles,” he admitted his voice cracking at the thought. Scott bowed his head and swallowed hard not wanting to lose his cool in front of Kira.

Kira’s heart hurt for him and she hesitated before reaching out and taking his hand in hers. “You’re not going to lose him, Scott,” she whispered.

Scott lifted his head at the feel of her fingers threading through his. “How do you know? Because as much as I try to stay positive I can’t stop my head from going there,” he admitted, pained. “I want to protect him, both of them. There’s this weird sensation in my chest that I’m not fully sure how to describe.” He pressed his lips together, “Like a fight inside myself, one part telling me to trust Lydia to help him and the other a fierce need to try to handle things myself, like he’s my responsibility.”

Scott let out a shaky breath, “I just don’t understand what’s happening, why it feels like this.”

“It’s because you’re the alpha. They’re part of your pack. Of course you feel responsible to protect them. I’ve been doing all this research about...um, wolf packs, which I know isn’t exactly the same thing because werewolves are different, but I think a lot of it still applies. Alphas though, they’re -- I mean they’re the leaders. But the human side of you wants to trust your instincts about your friends so it’s a struggle. You just have to try and find the balance.” Kira looked down for a moment.

Scott stared at Kira in awe. “You researched about wolves?” He didn’t know why he was surprised after all she’d done all that research about Bardo for him. Hours worth of research. Scott squeezed Kira’s hand gently and reached out tilting her chin up with his finger so she was looking at him. “That was really nice of you to do,” he replied softly. “Thanks for wanting to help...and for not running in the other direction with all this crazy stuff that’s going on.” He added with a boyish grin.

She blushed at the look on his face, reaching up to tuck some hair behind her ear. Despite her shyness she couldn’t help but smile at him when he grinned at her. “Well, you didn’t run in the other direction when I was controlling the electricity that night and...I mean I have no idea what that even means. But um, you’re welcome. Thanks for not...freaking out about that and for letting me help.” Because she really did want to.

Scott laughed quietly, “Well you’ve seen my everyday life, a little electricity controlling isn’t the weirdest thing I’ve seen,” he told her as he reached for his helmet and held it out to her. “Ready to go?” He asked his voice warm.

She shook her head in amusement. “Yeah, I’m ready.” She took the helmet from him, sliding it on her head and fastening it under her chin.

Scott grinned, Kira looked adorable in his helmet. She looked adorable in everything, he thought. Scott cleared his throat. “Lets get out of here then.” He said lightly before swinging a leg over his motorcycle and glancing back at Kira nodding for her to get on behind him. “Don’t forget to hold on tight.”

______

Derek sat in his truck outside the small building, his body tense as he stared at the bright lights within. He’d been there for about ten minutes now and he knew he needed to get out and talk to Deaton. He needed to know what he’d done and Derek figured telling him before everyone got there was probably the best idea.

He sighed, pulled his keys out of the ignition and stuffed them into his pocket as he got out of the car. He wore a black fitted t-shirt, jeans, and a pair of black boots figuring if they were going to do this he might as well dress for trouble since it always tended to find them. Derek reached for the door his hand closing around the cool metal as he tugged it open and stepped inside the warm office.

He cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. “Deaton,” he called knowing he wouldn’t be able to pass through to the back until the other man opened the gate. Sometimes mountain ash was a pain in the ass.

Deaton emerged from the back room with a small, amused smile on his face. “Derek,” he greeted. “Welcome back.” He hadn’t thought the man would stay away for long. While the eldest Hale certainly had reasons to want to get out and away from Beacon Hills, the town was still his home. It was where his family had come from. He had ties to the place that he didn’t really even understand yet.

He opened the gate, allowing Derek to head toward the back, then he shut the gate once more. It was always a good precaution to take because another werewolf pack showing up was always a possibility, as they’d all learned not that long ago. “Scott told me you’re fixing up your loft.”

Derek let out a grunt and nodded. “It was time.” He answered as he stopped walking and turned so he was facing Deaton. “I was hoping you’d have some time to talk before the ritual.” He glanced around the small back room taking a moment to focus his senses to take in his surroundings. “Are we alone?” He asked eyebrow arching. Derek was pretty sure there were only two human heartbeats, but he wanted to double check.

“I agree,” he said with a nod as he followed Derek until the younger man stopped and turned to face him. “Certainly. And we’re alone unless you’re counting the dozen animals in the back room, yes.” Amusement twinkled in his eyes. “What is it you’d like to discuss, Derek?”

Derek was silent for a minute, but really he wasn’t one to beat around the bush. “Lydia.” He said quietly. “I told her about Elizabeth.” Derek let the words hang in the air.

“Ah. Yes.” Deaton nodded once more, suddenly understanding why he was more solemn than usual. “How did she take it?” He asked, arching his eyebrows.

Derek eyed him warily, “How do you think she took it?” He snapped before taking a deep breath and pursing his lips. “Sorry,” he said gruffly. Derek hadn’t thought it would be hard to tell Lydia about her sister, but bringing it up, going back into those memories...It hurt more than he’d expected.

Derek had been close with Elizabeth, they had been friends, closer than even. But just like Paige, he’d lost her to the life he lived. Maybe she hadn’t died in a supernatural death, but she never would have been in the car that night if it hadn’t been for him. He’d called her telling her about the meeting the pack was having saying she should keep him company. He liked her, genuinely liked her. And when she never made it that night and his Mother came to him telling him the news he’d been inconsolable. Derek had gone to Kate Argent, his then almost girlfriend for consolation, despite the fact that Elizabeth had never liked her. And Elizabeth had been right not to.

Derek shook the thoughts away and slid his hands into his pockets before clearing his throat. “She was surprised, upset, and I’m thinking a little pissed off.” He said as he scratched the back of his head.

If Deaton was offended, his expression didn’t show it. Then again, Deaton rarely ever got offended. He was very laid back most of the time. He’d been living this life for a very long time and he was familiar with testy werewolves and the Hale family had always been full of them. It made him miss Talia even more. If there was one woman who could soothe the angry wolves in her pack, it was Talia Hale.

He was very familiar with the story about Elizabeth, had long ago made the connection to Lydia and to the Stilinski family. He believed that people, for the most part, needed to find the answers themselves because that was what built both wisdom and character. He was there to assist, yes, but not to hand out answers that people weren’t ready to learn about.

“Yes, that sounds about accurate for Lydia.” He smiled faintly, heading into the back. He was quiet for a moment. “How are you feeling now that you’ve told her?”

Derek’s brows lifted in surprise. He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had asked how he was feeling, then again he never really gave them much reason to care. “I-” he paused, “I’m not sure. It wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be and...I’m worried.” He replied quietly figuring he might as well let Deaton in on his theory.

Deaton pursed his lips, studying Derek for a moment once they reached the back room where he’d been setting up for the ritual most of the day. “What, specifically, worries you?”

“Peter,” Derek responded as he crossed his arms over his chest and glanced around the back room taking in the herbs, books, mountain ash, and wondering how everyone was going to fit back there, but knowing they would. This wasn’t the first ritual that had been held back there. “When I left Beacon Hills with Cora we went searching for something. Something I’m pretty sure Peter didn’t want me to find.”

Derek explained how he found out someone had Talia’s claws and Peter had intercepted him when he tried to take them getting them both kidnapped and almost killed. Then how they were rescued and came back to Beacon Hills. “I needed to ask her something and he reluctantly helped me, but you should have seen him afterwards. The storm that was brewing and I haven’t seen him since.” Derek told him pointedly.

“I don’t trust him. He killed my sister, lured me back here...bit Scott, attacked Lydia,” Derek took a deep breath, “And I think he did it all on purpose. I think his plan all along was to turn a True Alpha and bring out Lydia’s Banshee side...I just don’t know why.”

“Ah, yes. The wayward son.” Deaton nodded slightly as he listened to Derek’s concerns about his surviving uncle. In his opinion, Peter had always been just a shade more morally gray than everyone else, and had only gotten more so with time. He had some valid reasons for being angry, for seeking revenge, even if Deaton didn’t agree with his methods. He understood Peter to a certain extent despite not trusting or liking him. He was fairly assured that Peter felt the same way about him.

“You’re right not to trust him,” he said bluntly. “Peter, on occasion, has good intentions, but he abandons them without second thought when it suits him to do so.” He wasn’t surprised by Derek’s assertion that Peter was plotting. He always seemed to be plotting. “Yes, I’d come to that conclusion as well, though I’m not sure how much he truly played a hand in turning Scott into a true alpha. But I believe you’re right about Lydia.”

Derek considered Deaton’s words, his face pensive. “I feel...like I owe it to Elizabeth to help her,” he admitted grudgingly not enjoying baring his emotions to Deaton or anyone else for that matter. He was silent for several minutes. “I don’t want her to end up like Elizabeth did.” Derek said his voice quiet and somber.

Deaton considered his words carefully, watching Derek for a long moment. “If your instincts tell you that you should be more involved, Derek, you’re the only one who can make that happen.” His voice was gentle. “For what it’s worth, I don’t believe you’d be facing rejection.”

Derek glanced down momentarily before his gaze was back on Deaton. “I’m not good with...people.” It wasn’t always that way. There was a time when he was happy and free and charismatic. Everyone loved him. Derek was pretty sure it was part of the reason he was always helping Scott. The younger wolf reminded him a lot of himself when he was his age. And Derek desperately didn’t want Scott to make the same mistakes he did and turn out like him.

“I don’t know how to be...not anymore.” Derek told him as he dropped his hands and forced his body not to tense at the admission. Showing weakness wasn’t something he enjoyed; people always took advantage of it.

“People take a lot of work. Effort,” Deaton agreed. “After a trauma’s happened sometimes it’s hard to see the value in making that effort to make necessary connections. But werewolves, particularly, even more than humans, crave interaction. They physically need it. It’s why it’s so dangerous for one to be an omega,” he explained carefully. “Your guard is weaker; your ability to actively fight off danger is lessened. Wolves stick to a pack for reasons beyond basic survival, of course. Their capacity to care for and love other members of the pack is immense.” He gazed intently at Derek.

Derek swallowed heavily, “I know that,” he told him his eyes hard. “Don’t you think I understand that? It killed a piece of me when Erica and Boyd died. Losing them was like losing a part of myself.” He stated. “I still feel that every day, my failure to protect them, my failure...in general.” Derek didn’t deserve to be a part of a pack let alone Scott’s pack. He would be there if they needed him, but he didn’t need to bring his failure into their group, his darkness. He didn’t deserve to have that, not again.

“I think that your tendency to underestimate yourself is more dangerous than you think it is,” he said ominously. “To more than just yourself.” He patted Derek’s shoulder lightly before moving about the room to continue the preparations for the ritual.

Derek watched Deaton walk away and he felt something inside his chest tighten at his words. He stood there silently for a minute before turning around and heading back toward the front of the hospital needing some time to himself to think before the ritual. It was time he decided what he wanted once and for all.

______

Stiles parked his jeep in the back of the vet’s office and shut the engine off, glancing over at Lydia and releasing a breath. He glanced out the windshield, spotting Allison’s car parked there already and wondering why she was sitting in the car alone. He’d assumed Isaac would have ridden over with her. Maybe Isaac had to pee or something, he thought, shrugging. “Looks like they beat us here.” He exhaled, climbing out of the jeep slowly. When Lydia had done the same, he reached out and took her hand in his before they walked toward Allison’s car, where she was climbing out of the driver’s seat.

“Isaac’s inside,” she explained before either of them could ask. “Deaton and Derek are already here, too. Scott and Kira should be here soon.”

Lydia nodded her hand reflexively tightening around Stiles’. “Good,” she said with a tight smile. She was nervous and she knew Stiles could feel it too, which only seemed to make him more anxious. The sound of a motorcycle pulled Lydia from her thoughts and she turned her just in time to see Scott pull up beside Allison’s car with Kira.

Lydia had to admit the other girl wasn’t so bad.

Scott parked his bike, kicked out the stand and turned it off. He glanced over and spotted Allison, Stiles, and Lydia. He gave them a wave as he waited for Kira to dismount the bike.

Allison reached out and gave Lydia’s arm a gentle squeeze, sensing how anxious she was about everything, then watched as Scott waited for Kira to get off the bike, lifting her hand in a return wave.

Kira slid off his bike, removing the helmet and handing it to him with a small smile before looking around at the others. After a moment she looked at Scott, sensing he was going to need a few minutes with his friends before they started the ritual. “I’ll just go in and see if they need any help with anything.” She offered him a small smile before heading inside the vet’s office.

Scott sent Kira a grateful look even though her back was facing him as she walked away before swinging a leg over his bike and walking toward his friends. He paused in front of Stiles and gave his friend a reassuring smile despite his nerves. “Hey man, how are you holding up?” He asked noticing the tight grip Stiles had on Lydia’s hand.

Stiles looked down at the ground for a moment, and sighed before looking up at him. Then he looked at Allison and Lydia. “We don’t have to go through with this. There’s still time. If anyone wants to back out, it’s fine. No hard feelings.” He held his breath.

Allison frowned, shaking her head and looking at Scott for a second. “I don’t think any of us are going to do that, Stiles.”

Scott nodded in agreement with Allison, “Dude, there’s no way you’re going through this without us. You and me, we’re family.” he said quietly reaching out and clapping Stiles on the shoulder. “We’re going to do this, and it’s when it’s over you’re going to be better than before.” He told his friend matter-of-factly.

Stiles’ chest tightened at Scott’s declaration. It wasn’t like he didn’t feel the same way, but he was terrified that something was going to go wrong and they were all going to get dragged down with him.

“Scott’s right. We’re not leaving you. I’m insulted you’d even try to get rid of us. Don’t you know by now that we’re all in this together?” Lydia shook her head and huffed.

He squeezed Lydia’s hand in response. “I’m not trying to get rid of you. I just don’t want anything to happen to any of you. You’re all my family.”

“And family sticks together,” Allison said firmly. “That’s what we’re doing. It’s what we always do.” She took a breath. “And Scott is right. We’ll get through this and everything will be fine.”

Lydia nodded, because really there was no other option. She would bring Stiles back no matter what.

Scott glanced around at his friend and swallowed hard, “When this is over I say we all get together, order pizza and watch some movies.” He told them with a smile trying to ease everyone’s nerves, “I’m thinking meat lovers pizza.”

“Veggie pizza,” Lydia added as she ran a hand down Stiles’ arm a soft smile pulling at her lips.

“Veggie pizza would be healthier,” Stiles agreed. “We could get one of each.”

Allison smirked. “Maybe two meatlovers and one veggie pizza. I’ve seen Scott and Isaac attack one pizza by themselves.”

Scott chuckled, “And don’t forget Derek, so maybe three meatlovers,” he said lightly his smile slowly disappearing as the last of the sun set. It was time. “We should probably head in and get this over with,” he joked trying to lighten the situation, though Scott knew it wasn’t that easy.

Stiles drew in a breath, nodding slightly in agreement. If they were all going to do this, he wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

He just prayed that nothing went wrong this time.

It didn’t take them long to make their way into the building and when they did Lydia gave Stiles’ hand another squeeze for support. She saw that Deaton had already placed Derek, Isaac, and Kira in a circle. There were two exam tables next to each other and a circle of mountain ash around them. “Let me guess, we go in the middle,” she said her gaze landing on Deaton. “You are correct, as usual, Lydia,” Deaton agreed with a soft smile, nodding. “If everyone’s ready I believe we should get started.”

Stiles wasn’t sure he was ever really going to be ready for this. But he looked at Lydia, holding his breath and searching her eyes. You don’t have to do this, he thought, tightening his fingers around hers a little.

“How are you going to get them to go to sleep?” Allison asked uncertainly.

Before he could answer, Kira spoke up. “A mild but fast acting sedative is what the ritual suggests.”

Deaton smiled at her. “Precisely.”

Scott didn’t like the sound of that, but he kept his opinion to himself as he nodded and then walked around the circle until he was standing beside Kira.

Lydia sent a sideways glance in Stiles’ direction, “Okay, well let’s get this show on the road, which arm do you need?” She asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Either one will do. It’s personal preference, really.”

“I prefer not to be stuck by a needle, ever,” Stiles grumbled, looking apprehensive for a whole new reason now.

Deaton smiled. “Not to worry. You’ll barely feel it.”

“That’s what they all say.” He carefully stepped over the line of mountain ash, pursing his lips as he looked at it. “What’s up with that anyway?”

“Just to prevent any...concerned individuals if it takes longer than expected.” Deaton looked right at Scott with a raised eyebrow.

Scott made a face. “I get the hint and you know if I really wanted in that circle I’d just got through the mountain ash,” he said petulantly as his gaze traveled over to Stiles. “I’ve got you man, no amount of mountain ash will keep me out, I’m a true alpha.” He said puffing out his chest knowing the words were ridiculous, but hoping to make Stiles smile.

Stiles sat down on the other table, managing to give Scott a small smile for effort.

Isaac snorted, “The true alpha with performance anxiety.” He said as he glanced at Allison with a grin.

Lydia arched an eyebrow as she followed Stiles over the mountain ash and lifted herself up onto one of the tables, sitting with her feet dangling silently keeping her eyes on Stiles. “Once we’re under how long will it take for me to be able to find Stiles?” Lydia asked her tone all business. She wasn’t trying to be cold, but she needed to be rationale. Stiles’ life depended on it.

Stiles turned his attention to Deaton’s response to Lydia’s question.

“With your physical proximity in your conscious state, I don’t think it will take you long,” he assured her. “You already have a strong emotional connection to one another, which should help a great deal.”

Deaton carefully stepped over the line of mountain ash with two syringes that were already drawn up, approaching Stiles first.

Stiles grimaced shooting Scott a look.

“It’s going to be fine,” Scott said noting the look on Stiles’ face. “We’re all right here and we’ll be here when you guys wake up. Trust me.” He whispered. If anything went wrong Scott would be through that barrier faster than inhumanly possibly. He would get to Stiles no matter what.

Lydia reached out a hand and rested it on Stiles’ leg. “Scott’s right.” She replied softly, “In and out. I’ll find you.” She told him as her free hand grasped her necklace.

Derek’s gaze fell to it and his chest tightened at the sight of it on Lydia.

“Yeah, I’m just...not a big fan of needles,” he admitted with a tiny smile in her direction before looking at Scott and nodding. He trusted them both. It was himself he didn’t trust. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”

Deaton nodded, glancing back at the others. “I have to advise against breaching the circle at this point,” he informed them before sticking the needle in Stiles’ arm.

Stiles eyed Deaton warily. “And why’s...oh.” He felt dizziness wash over him. “That works fast.” He laid back on the table, eyes already drifting shut.

He disposed of the syringe before picking up the other and moving over to Lydia next. “Go ahead and lie down,” he suggested.

Lydia could feel her heart slamming against her chest, her eyes on Stiles who was already drifting off. She swallowed heavily to moisten her throat. Lydia lifted her legs up carefully and started to lie down, but paused halfway. “How will I know what he has to do to close the door? When I’m there. It didn’t say in the ritual.”

Scott could hear Lydia’s elevated heartbeat and the hint of anxiety as the octave of her voice rose and he took a step forward. Derek’s hand shot out gently gripping Scott’s arm. He glanced at Derek with an arched brow.

“She’s okay; we don’t want to mess this up. No jumping the gun tonight.” He commented and when Scott reluctantly nodded, Derek released his arm.

“Follow your instincts, Lydia. They won’t steer you wrong,” he told her gently. “Are you ready?” When she nodded, he dispensed the dose into her vein and stepped out of the circle.

“Why can’t we go inside the circle?” Allison asked uncertainly.

“Let’s just say that the effects it could have would be...more than what any of you bargained for,” he said cautiously.

Anxiety crept up Scott’s spine, “What does that even mean?” He asked stepping forward and accidentally hitting the barrier. A sharp stab of pain hit into his skin making him immediately step back. His brows drew together. “That’s different,” he commented. It didn’t usually hurt; well not too much it was more of a shock than anything.

Isaac glanced at the barrier. “Don’t touch the invisible line, got it.” He said as he glanced over their bodies. How do we know if it’s working?”

“Until they wake up, we won’t.” Deaton glanced over at the younger werewolf. “Just try and focus on your feelings for Stiles and Lydia.”

Isaac nodded and focused his attention on Stiles and Lydia. Scott did the same thing his heart heavy hoping that his best friend was doing okay wherever he was.