Title: Never Too Late
Authors: Sxymami0909 & Xtremeroswelia
Fandom: Teen Wolf
Timeline: Set after 3.18 ‘Riddled’ AU from there.
Sequel To: Never Know What Hit You
Word Count: 155, 704
Pairings: Stiles/Lydia, Scott/Kira, Allison/Isaac, Sheriff Stilinski/Melissa McCall, Derek Hale, Cora Hale, Peter Hale
Summary: In the wake of the Nogitsune's distruction Stiles is attempting to put his life back together, but things are never as easy as they seem. Meanwhile Scott attemps to mend his fractured pack but is it too late to fix what's been broken? Or will the past few months strengthen the bond between them? Lydia's link with Stiles has only grown stronger since the death of the Nogitsune and now she can feel Scott too leading Lydia to seek out information about her banshee origins from an unlikely source. While new relationships form, others are tested. Can our favorite trio fix what's been broken or will Scott's pack be broken forever?
Previous Chapters: | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten |
Scott made his way through the empty school hallway rubbing his eyes with one hand, helmet in the other. It had been a long night and he'd woken up way too early. But since he couldn't fall back asleep and Lydia and Stiles had been out cold, Scott decided to see if Kira could meet before school instead of after. He spotted her father's classroom, which was where they were supposed to meet, and saw the door was wide open. Kira was probably already there.
Scott walked into the classroom and grinned when he spotted Kira sitting at one of the desks in the front row. "Hey," he said softly as he closed the distance between them. He set his helmet and backpack down and hesitated for a second before leaning down and pulling Kira into a quick hug. "How have you been?"
Kira smiled when she spotted him, rising to her feet and hugging him back when he was standing there in front of her. “I’m good. Things are okay. We just...went out of town for a little while because…” She hesitated. “My mom had to explain some things and she thought it was best if we took some time as a family and went away for it.” She was suddenly kind of nervous, because she knew she had to tell him the truth and she was half afraid of what his reaction was going to be.
Scott nodded releasing her a minute later and sliding into the seat across from where she stood. He shifted his body so he was facing her and waited for her to sit. "I get it, a lots been going on all around." He admitted, "I was actually kind of worried that you left because of us...I never even really got a chance to thank you for helping us." Scott told her quietly as he reached for her hand. "It really meant a lot that you helped us save Stiles."
“No, no, nothing like that,” Kira said, eyes widening. She sat down across from him, taking his hand. “And of course. I mean I sort of...accidentally jump-started the whole thing to begin with and I still...feel really terrible about that honestly.” She hesitated for a moment. “And there’s...actually more to the story than I even knew about. Stuff that my mom explained.”
Scott squeezed her hand, "It's not your fault, please don't feel bad. You had no idea and no one blames you," least of all him, Scott added silently. His brows drew together when she said there was more to the story. He could hear the increase in her heart beat and worry crossed his face. "What do you mean? More about the Nogitsune?"
Kira offered him a tiny smile, ducking her head. “Yeah.” She looked down at their hands for a moment. “My mom is...sort of like me.” She hesitated. “Except she’s...over 900 years old and she sort of...is the one who summoned the Nogitsune back in 1943.”
Scott's eyes widened. As far as information went, he hadn't been expecting that. "Wow," he whispered not entirely sure what to say. "Why?" He inquired curiously, "I mean I thought the Nogitsune was bad, why would your mom summon a dark spirit?" And why hadn't her mother mentioned that when crazy things started happening in the town?
Kira tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Some really bad things happened back then at an internment camp.” She exhaled before forging forward, telling him the entire story of what had happened with her mom back then, about the terrible things that had been happening. About how in an act of desperation, her mother had called down the Nogitsune.
Scott had listened intently squeezing her hand a few times throughout her story, not able to imagine how horrible this must have been. "I'm really sorry that happened to your mom, that she had to go through all of that pain," he murmured as he brushed his thumb in calming circles over her hand. "At least no one ever has to worry about the Nogitsune again now. Lydia destroyed it for good." He explained knowing Kira already knew that part.
"But it's good to know how it all happened. Who knew the whole thing with Jennifer Blake and the sacrifices would let it out." Maybe that news would be helpful to Stiles and he could let go of a portion of the guilt he carried with him.
“Which is good, because...it could’ve been a lot worse.” Kira looked up at him. “I mean the Nogitsune wasn’t really very picky about who it hurt. It just..wanted to hurt everyone.” She grimaced. “I hope it helps a little.” She hesitated for a moment. “How is he?” she asked quietly, remembering how much her mother had talked about how guilty she’d felt about what had happened in 1943.
Scott sighed swallowing hard. "He's not doing too great," he admitted honestly his chest tightening. Scott was worried about Stiles. It was hard for him not knowing how to help his friend. He was tired, stressed and really confused about all the new alpha abilities he seemed to be developing.
Plus dealing with his dad was seriously bringing out a side of him that he didn't like and couldn't always control. "It's hard, I just want to be there for him and help fix things, but I don't know how." He whispered glancing down at their hands.
Kira’s eyes were full of sympathy. She squeezed Scott’s hand gently. “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said honestly. “I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to help him, or you, but...if there is something…” Her voice trailed off.
Scott glanced up sending her a small smile. “Believe it or not just being back in town helps. I missed you,” he admitted before a rush of shyness hit him. Scott scratched the back of his neck hoping he wasn’t blushing...guys didn’t do that...okay they did, but he didn’t want to be one of those guys. “Uh- I mean I missed seeing you here in school with me and...well if you wanted to visit Stiles I bet he’d like that.” Scott told her internally berating himself for being such an idiot. He was the hot girl, why did he always have so much trouble with expressing himself? He was an idiot.
Her own cheeks flushed at his words. “I missed you, too.” Her voice was quiet and she considered his words. “I could definitely come visit if you think that would be okay.” She didn’t really know Stiles that well, but he seemed like a nice guy. And she could relate to his awkwardness.
Scott’s face lit up and he grinned stupidly. She missed him too. That was awesome. “You did help save his life,” he commented threading their fingers together as he spoke his body feeling calmer and his emotions more in control than they had been in the past month. “Which I don’t think you’ll ever know how grateful I am about,” Scott reminded her, “So I don’t see why he would mind. I’ll talk to him.” He told her the smile still on his face.
Kira’s face lit up when his did, eyes brighter than before. Unlike his calmness, her body felt like it was buzzing with energy, and she wondered if that was just how things were going to be now that she knew what she was, and what she could do. “Okay.” She looked at him for a moment. “Does he like cake? Do you like cake?”
Scott’s grin widened. She was beautiful when she smiled. “Stiles loves cake...so I do. I bet if you made it the cake would be like perfect.” He said enjoying the way her heartbeat danced in her chest. He could almost feel the nervous energy from her and all he wanted to do was bask in it. Kira liked him, which was good since he definitely liked her.
“Then I’ll make cake. And if it’s okay with Stiles and his dad, I’ll come by this weekend with it.” She blushed again at the compliment. “Are you still gonna be there this weekend?” she asked hopefully.
“If I’m not I’ll go there for you,” Scott paused when he realized what he said, “I mean, yeah, most likely because, well Stiles is my best friend and he needs me...because I’m his best friend.” He explained his hand going to the back of his neck again. “I’ll talk to him today,” he promised.
“Okay. Sounds good.” She looked up when the bell rang, wincing a little at how loud it was. “They could make that just a little bit quieter.” She shook her head, rising to her feet. “See you in history?” she asked hopefully.
Scott stood up and grinned, “Yeah, definitely I’ll be there, maybe I can save you a seat I mean if you wanted.” He told her as he reached for his backpack and helmet.
“Yeah, I’d like that. Just...not too close to the front. My dad already enjoys embarrassing me when I’m in the very back.” She grimaced.
Scott grinned and pulled his bag over his shoulder. “I like your dad,” he admitted as he nodded towards the door. “But I promise not too close...I can walk you to your first class,” Scott offered.
“I like my dad, too, but some things shouldn’t be said out loud?” She laughed softly as she followed him. “And yeah, I’d like that.”
Scott smiled hesitating before taking her hand and making his way down the hall with Kira by his side.
Stiles hadn’t gotten dressed that day. He’d just stayed in his t-shirt and sweat pants. He just didn’t have the energy to get dressed and pretend that everything was okay when everything wasn’t okay. He’d spent most of the day just hanging around with Lydia in bed, watching movies. He’d fallen asleep at some point, and had woken up from a nightmare gasping. Fortunately she’d been right there already, so the panic attack had been short but intense. He needed to talk to Deaton. This wasn’t healthy for Lydia to have to deal with his actual emotions. There had to be some way to turn off that connection unless it absolutely needed to be utilized. And nightmares and panic attacks didn’t count.
Ms. McCall had taken to the living room with a book, checking on them every so often with worried eyes. It made him want to cry.
Lydia had taken Prada out for a walk, and he was still trying not to worry too much. It was still daylight and overall the street the Stilinski’s lived on was pretty secure. At least when no one possessed lived there. He made his way down the stairs, chewing on a hangnail on his finger. He paused when he spotted his dad in the living room now, too. Except Ms. McCall was now out of sight. He could hear noise in the kitchen. She was probably making dinner.
“Dad?” His voice was tentative.
Michael glanced over at the doorway at the sound of his son’s voice. He sent Stiles half a smile despite the fact that his day had been long and hard. While things were cleaning up around town nicely and the police station looked better than knew, Rafael was making his life a living hell. “Hey son,” he took a few steps forward noticing Stiles clenching one hand and biting the nail on the other.
Michael arched an eyebrow, “How was your day?” He asked as he reached out and squeezed his arm gently.
“It was okay,” he told him, eyes troubled. “How about yours?”
“Busy,” he said with a small hesitant smile, “Melissa is making dinner,” he told his son before motioning to the couch. “Why don’t you come sit down for a minute,” he suggested as he walked over to the couch.
Stiles nodded, rubbing the back of his neck and moving to sit down on the sofa beside his father. He chewed on his lower lip, yawning involuntarily as he sat, glancing at his dad sideways. “I need to ask you a favor.”
Michael could see how tired his son was and he wished there was something more he could do to help him. “Okay, what’s going on?” He asked worry filling him.
“Lydia’s mom left. Like left Beacon Hills.” He stared down at his hands, shoulders full of tension. “She took a job in San Diego. Told Lydia she could stay here until graduation, at the house. You know, alone.”
Michael frowned at the tension in his son’s body as he spoke. He reached out a hand and rested it on Stiles’ shoulder trying to ease some of the tension in him. “Are you sure?” he asked wondering how a parent could just leave their kid in a town away from where they’re going to be especially a town like Beacon Hills.
“Yeah, I’m sure. She took a teaching job there.” He let out a breath, and looked over at his dad. “It’s not safe in this town for Lydia to stay alone.” He kind of hoped his dad understood what he was getting at. He also knew it was a bit of an awkward request. His dad knew how he felt about Lydia Martin. How he’d always felt about Lydia Martin.
The second the words left his son’s mouth he knew where Stiles was going with the conversation. Michael hesitated, “Stiles,” he paused, “That is a big step.” he said pursing his lips. “I’m not sure it’s the best idea.” He said but even as he, “Have you talked to Lydia about this?” The sheriff knew they were close and even though he didn’t understand their connection he knew it was important to his son.
“Dad, I know. I know it is. And I know it’s weird.” He exhaled, rubbing his hands over his face as his shoulders slumped a little. “But you know the kind of crap that happens in this town and it’s just not -- she’s like a magnet for finding trouble and if she’s alone all the time then…” He couldn’t even seem to form the right sentences and it was frustrating and he felt a flicker of fear that maybe, just maybe, it was starting all over again. He held his breath for a few seconds, then let it out slowly.
Michael could see the struggle in his son and his chest tightened. He didn’t like seeing Stiles like this. He squeezed Stiles’ shoulder, “She can stay,” he said quietly. “I’m not sure why her mom would leave her all alone, but I understand your concern and Lydia...she’s a sweet a girl.” Michael paused, “Having her here helps you.” he observed.
Stiles wasn’t trying to use his issues to manipulate his dad into giving in, but somehow it felt like it anyway. “Her mom’s never really...been that involved, Dad.” His voice was sad. “Her family isn’t like ours. Never has been.”
That was something Michael had noticed. Lydia was very hesitant around them when they were all together like a family, but it was clear to see that she enjoyed spending time with them...with Stiles. “There would be rules if she stayed here.” Michael commented.
Stiles turned his head to look at his dad, his eyes red-rimmed. “I’m listening,” he said quietly. Whatever the rules were, he was pretty sure it’d be fine.
“There would be a curfew,” Michael said knowing Lydia probably wasn’t used to that. “When Melissa and Scott aren’t here, she sleeps in the guest room.” He told his son pointedly, “Unless you’re having a nightmare,” he added. He pursed his lips, his brows creasing in thought. He was sure he’d come up with more as time went on, but there wasn't anything that came to the forefront of his mind at the moment.
Stiles nodded slightly. So far the rules seemed pretty reasonable to him, all things considered. Even if Lydia had absolutely zero interest in him as anything but a best friend -- which is what she’d called him once -- and there was no way in the world that anything remotely sexual was ever going to happen between them. “Okay,” he said easily.
Michael nodded watching his son for a minute, “You never cease to amaze me kid,” he said before pulling him into a quick hug. “Even with everything going on you’re still so worried about everyone else.”
Stiles’ eyebrows furrowed, mostly at the first part of his dad’s statement, but he hugged him back, closing his eyes. He’d always been a worrier. He doubted it would ever change, really. “I love you, Dad,” he whispered.
Michael’s chest constricted and he tightened his grip just a little bit, “I love you too.” He gave his son a pat on the back before pulling away. “I’m going to go talk to Melissa and see what she thinks of this development,” he said with half a smile. “But I’m sure it will be fine.” Michael didn’t know when things with Melissa had become a partnership, or when they started making decisions for the boys together. But at this point it was like a second nature.
If he hadn’t felt so barely held together right then, he probably would have smiled at his dad’s words. It was almost like getting something you’d wanted for a long time, in the absolute worst way known to mankind. Stiles watched with a hollow, sunken feeling in his chest as his dad headed out of the living room and into the kitchen to talk to Scott’s mom and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing his eyes again. He was starting to wonder about Deaton’s offer. It felt like a lifetime ago now, but he’d said he had something that could block Stiles’ memories and he was starting to realize that maybe he just wasn’t going to be strong enough to deal with the fallout of the mess his life had become. The mess that he’d made of it.
He sat still, eerily still, and silent, flinching visibly when the front door opened.
Scott drifted into the house, bag over his shoulder, grin on his face. He couldn’t seem to get it off his face. His day was surprisingly good. He had lunch with Kira and Isaac, Allison hadn’t been around and then he spent his free period with her too. It was a nice break from everything going on and it had done wonders for settling the discord inside of him. He dropped his bag by the door, “Parents I’m back from school, I made good choices, where’s my best friend?” He called in a voice that was probably too happy.
One corner of Stiles’ mouth tugged upwards of its own accord, because there was something refreshing about his best friend actually sounding happy again. It had been awhile and the knowledge that that was his fault too hurt but he shoved it as far down as he could. “Sittin’ right here, Dude. Don’t have to look too far.” He smiled. “What good choices did you make today, Scottie?” He blanched as he remembered the thing calling him Scottie as it taunted him that day at the school, but it was too late to take it back.
Scott walked into the room with a grin, not even phased by the familiar nickname. “Hey dude, I missed you,” he said as he plopped down on the couch beside his friend noticing he didn’t look great. Scott patted him on the back, “Kira like choices,” he commented, “Oh before I forget I ran into Lydia outside, she said she’d be back in a little bit.” He told his friend before shifting so he was fully facing Stiles. “How was your day?” He asked sobering up a bit.
“Yeah? Good. Kira-like choices sound good.” If Kira-like choices made Scott happy, he was in full support of that happening more often. Once upon a time he’d been so incredibly jealous of Allison, because she’d taken so much space in Scott’s life, space that back then was only ever filled with Stiles and Scott time, and he was starting to realize that Stiles and Scott time wasn’t such a great thing for Scott anymore. “You should do that more often. Fine. Lyds and I just watched movies basically.” He shrugged, voice lighter than he felt.
Scott studied Stiles for a minute, “I told her she could come visit you,” he commented watching his friend for a reaction, “She was worried...she’s making cake. I find her...adorable.” He told Stiles not able to keep the smile from his face, but at the same time feeling guilty that he could smile so much when his best friend looked so miserable. “How are you holding up today? For real.” He said before Stiles could feed him a line.
“She’s making cake?” Stiles echoed, caught off guard by that. He didn’t really know Kira very well, but he hadn’t pictured her as a baker. “The two of you are kind of adorable.” Like literally kick in the gut, make you want to throw up adorable, but he didn’t say that. But his heart sank at how easily Scott saw through him -- again. He used to be good at being convincing when he said he was fine. Now no one believed him at all. “Fell asleep during a movie. Had a nightmare.” He shrugged, looking down at his hands. The irony was he was starting to think he needed to be locked up for awhile, away from everyone to give them a break, and the one place that might have taken him...he’d burned down. A dry, humorless chuckle escaped him at the thought. Of course there was also a good chance he was going to end up going to prison for said fire, so there was irony there, too, he supposed. The Nogitsune had loved that kind of thing.
Scott frowned and reached out squeezing his shoulder. “It’ll get better Stiles, I promise...and while we’re on the subject I’ve got news.” He said quietly. “I know why Kira was out of town with her parents and it turns out her mother is a lot more involved with the Nogitsune than we thought.” Scott explained the story about the Japanese internment camp. He told Stiles how everything went down and how Kira’s mom called on the Nogitsune. How it destroyed everything around it and there had only been one way to defeat it.
Scott told him about the fly and the nemeton and how when they did their ritual they let it out. He explained how much worse it could have been and even added in the fact that Kira’s mom was like 900 years old. By the end of his story he tilted his head to the side. “Kira’s mom said that even though he was strong, the guy she loved, he couldn’t fight the Nogitsune, couldn’t stop him at all from the second he took over.”
Scott squeezed Stiles arm. “I know how guilty you feel, I know you blame yourself even if we don’t, but Stiles...if you weren’t as strong as you were this could have gotten a hell of a lot worse. Kira’s mom said it killed hundreds of people. But somehow you were able to control it enough and Lydia was able to destroy it in a way it will never come back. Something even Kira’s mom couldn’t do.” He told his friend softly.
Stiles wanted to ask him how he could promise something like that, how he could be so sure that things would get better. But instead, he stayed silent, listening as Scott relayed the story about Kira’s mom and squeezing his eyes shut at the horrors that came with that story. He knew, of course, deep down that it could have been much worse. That the things the Nogitsune had planned for everyone could have come to pass very easily. But by some miracle they’d gotten so lucky.
He looked at Scott silently for a moment, nodding and swallowing hard, mostly so that his best friend would know that he’d heard him. Truthfully he didn’t know how to respond at all. He’d managed to loosen the Nogitsune’s hold on him long enough to throw himself at Scott to stop a wolfs bane laced arrow from killing him. Managed to break through long enough to text Chris Argent coordinates, even if his initial plans had failed. “I hear you,” he whispered after another moment. He looked down at Scott’s hand on his arm and covered it with his own. “Thanks.”
“Anytime dude, I am always here for you. That’s what best friends are for,” he said with half a smile. “Now tell me...did my mom make anything good for lunch because I feel like I could eat an entire horse.” He said with half a smile. Stiles smirked faintly. “She’s working on dinner right now. Don’t eat any horses. Horses are our friends.”
Scott arched an eyebrow, “Not if I chomp on them,” his eyes flashed and he made a biting motion not able to keep the humor from his face. “Sorry, I’m really hungry I feel like I haven’t eaten in ages...like I’m wasting away,” he glanced down at his body, “Oh no, dude am I wasting away?” He asked melodramatically.
Stiles rolled his eyes at Scott’s antics, shaking his head. “Would that mean it’d turn into a were-horse? If you chomped on a horse but didn’t eat it?” He cocked his head to one side, then reached out and patted Scott’s stomach. “I think you’re okay, dude.”
Scott sent him a thoughtful look, “I don’t know...I wonder if I’d be its alpha if it did turn into as were-horse.” He contemplated with a shrug and smiled at his friend. He knew Stiles was upset, but he hoped that he could at least soften his mood for a little while. Scott leaned back on the couch. “So what else is going on?” He asked keeping his tone light.
Stiles rolled his eyes again. “I don’t know, I think the pack’s already at a good size right now,” he said lightly. “And where would a were-horse even stay?”
Scott shrugged. “We could give it to Lydia, she likes horseback riding,” he said with a grin. “Her very own were-horse. And I bet it would be a good protector because well...I said so and I’m the alpha?” He asked glancing sideways at his friend.
“Yeah, well she might end up living here and we don’t exactly have a barn in the backyard for a horse to live in.” He looked at his best friend for a moment with arched eyebrows.
Scott turned so he was fully facing Stiles. “I’m sorry it sounded like you just said Lydia might be living here...So when I asked if anything happened today and you said no...that wasn’t exactly true, huh?” He asked amused. “What’s going on?”
Stiles sighed softly. “I haven’t exactly talked to her about it yet? Her mom split town. Took a job in San Diego and told her she could stay at their house until after graduation.” He looked down at his hands. “So I asked my dad if she could just stay here and he said she could. With some basic ground rules. Which isn’t unreasonable.”
Scott watched his friend for a minute before shaking his head. “That’s so messed up.” He scratched the back of his neck, “No wonder she’s been so off. I know her parents love her in their own way but...Dude I don’t know what I’d do if my mom just left me. I kinda think I’d be crushed.” He said honestly.
“I guess that makes sense why Derek dropped her off here last night. She must have been staying at his place because she didn’t want to be alone,” he assumed. He’d been trying to figure out what was wrong with Lydia for a couple of days, but she hadn’t wanted to talk about it and now he felt kind of bad that he hadn’t pushed more. He was just so tired lately and his main focus was helping Stiles, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care.
Stiles let out a breath, rubbing his hands over his head and nodding. “Yeah, I know.” It had hurt bad enough losing his mother, and she hadn’t chosen to leave. It wasn’t even the same with Scott’s dad when he’d left, because Scott’s dad had been a complete jackass for as far back as Stiles could remember. But if his dad left him? He couldn’t imagine anything more upsetting. Granted he knew that Lydia and her mother weren’t close and never really had been. But he was pretty sure it was still upsetting.
“I need to talk to Derek anyway. And Deaton.” And Peter Hale, he thought silently, though he didn’t add that. He chewed on his lower lip. “And Lydia and Derek went to see Peter.”
Scott frowned, “When did she go to see Peter? Better question why?” He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. “You just missed Derek, he picked up Lydia and Prada.” He told his friend, “And if you want to go talk to Deaton, we can definitely do that. I need to talk to him too, so just tell me when.” He said quietly.
“Yesterday, apparently. To ask him about the whole banshee thing like Derek suggested.” He glanced toward the kitchen, then back at Scott. “He gave her some information.”
Scott arched an eyebrow, “Reliable information?” He asked curiously wondering if it would help her control what she was getting from Stiles.
Stiles sighed. He wasn’t sure how he felt about any of the things that Lydia had filled him in on, wasn’t sure if Peter was being honest, even if it was something he’d been wondering in the back of his mind for a long time now. He was quiet for a moment. “Apparently banshees are connected with particular packs. And apparently Lydia is connected to you as an alpha.” He looked down, twisting his fingers together. “And if Peter’s telling the truth then…” He hesitated, shutting his eyes for a few seconds, then opening them again and looking at him. “Then she’s connected to me too and...I’m connected to all of you.”
Scott studied his friend for a minute. He looked incredibly stressed out by this new information. “That’s...kind of crazy. So we’re all connected? She can feel all of us? Or will be able to?” Scott’s brows furrowed how the hell was that supposed to work? Lydia was already having issues that were affecting her physically because of Stiles emotions, Scott couldn’t imagine what it would be like with all of them.
“Sort of. Actually...if Peter’s telling the truth then it might be turn out that Lydia’s not the only one who’s a different sort of pack member than the rest of you.” He hesitated, chewing on his thumbnail. “Apparently the pack’s banshee and the pack’s emissary...are also connected. And the pack’s emissary is connected to the rest of the pack.” He glanced at Scott sideways, arching his eyebrows.
Scott cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure that’s what he said? I mean, because we don’t even have an emis-” Scott’s words died off when he made the connection. He turned his head to look at Stiles. “Lydia is connected to you...Are you connected to her too?” He asked curiously wondering if maybe that was Stiles’ point.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “But that just started basically.” He shifted on the couch, facing Scott. “So I think that maybe…” He hesitated. “You do have an emissary.”
Scott’s eyes widened almost comically as he clamped a hand over Stiles shoulder, “Dude, you’re our emissary?” He asked as a hesitant grin pulled at his lips, “That’d be kind of awesome. I mean unless you don’t want that, then obviously we could you know figure it out.” He said realizing he probably shouldn’t have assumed that it would be a good thing.
“Yeah, I think, maybe,” he said quietly, looking back down at his hands. “It’s part of why I need to talk to Deaton.” He chewed the inside of his cheek. It wasn’t that he didn’t want it. Or that he hadn’t kind of suspected it ever since he’d created a mountain ash barrier around a building with the force of his will. It was that with as screwed up as his life was, he wasn’t confident he’d be able to.
Scott nodded, “We can go talk to him if you’re worried.” He was silent for a minute, “I wanted to talk to him about all this new stuff happening with me too. So, whenever you’re ready.” Scott said patting his friend’s back. “I know this is all a lot, but I think if we take things one day at a time we’ll get through it little by little.” He offered.
He drew in a breath and let it out slowly. “Scott, he offered to give me something to block out memories,” he said, voice just barely audible.
Scott pursed his lips. He couldn’t imagine what Stiles was going through remembering everything the Nogitsune did. It was obvious he was struggling and Scott hated that his best friend was hurting so bad and he couldn’t do anything about it. He wasn’t going to lie, they had all sort of hoped that he didn’t get his memories back, but at the same time if he didn’t deal with the fallout now, it was always be there lurking in the back of his mind.
“You know that I will support you whatever you choose to do,” he commented, “But I want you to think about this, really think about it. Whatever Deaton gives you, are you prepared to take it for the rest of your life? I mean...I don’t know. I don’t want you to have to go through the pain of remembering all of this stuff, but at the same time along with all the bad there’s some good too.” He pointed out. “You made it through the whole thing alive; you fought this thing off like no one before you could. Despite what you think, you were strong and I feel like that triumph isn’t something you should forget.” He said quietly.
“At the same time though, I can feel some of what you’re feeling and if what’s happened to Lydia in the past because of stuff you were feeling is anything to go by...it’s bad. So I get not wanting to keep that either.”
And for all the reasons that Scott had just listed, Stiles had turned Deaton down initially on the offer. Plus some part of him was scared that he’d have some kind of adverse reaction to whatever the magic pills were and he’d wind up forgetting everything. His friendship with Scott, his feelings for Lydia, his dad. It terrified him. And with the penchant he had for finding trouble without looking, he wasn’t sure actively seeking it out was a great plan either.
“Yeah, I know,” he murmured. But truthfully the majority of the reason he was considering it so seriously was to give them all a break. Everyone was exhausted. Everyone’s lives were turned upside down, utterly, because of the things he’d done. Because of the trauma he was trying to deal with. Lydia and Scott could actually feel his emotions and that was unsettling in so many ways.
But maybe Deaton would have other suggestions about how to block the emotions from the two of them. There was no reason either should have to suffer just because he was emissary-pack connection or not. If that was even what it was. And since Deaton was also an emissary, he was the best person to talk to about how to deal with that if that’s what was going on.
Scott could see his friend lost in his thoughts and he squeezed his shoulder, “Either way, we’ll get through this man, I promise. Until then...one day at a time.” He reminded him. “Do you want me to call Deaton?” He asked, “See if maybe he’s free to talk tonight after dinner or tomorrow?”
“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” he said quietly. “And I don’t...wanna say anything to our parents until I have more answers.” He didn’t like keeping them in the dark, but there was no reason to tell them what they suspected on the off chance that he was wrong, or that Peter had given them misinformation. And if it had suited him at the time, he knew the older werewolf would’ve done just that.
Scott smiled, “You got it. I’ll call after dinner. Until then, want to play some Mario Kart?” He asked sending his friend a sideways glance.
“Yeah, sounds good.” He bumped into Scott’s shoulder with his own lightly. “But you get to set it up.”
Scott huffed jokingly, “Oh fine,” he grinned and pushed himself off the couch, glad that Stiles was at least talking to him about what was going on in his head.
Stiles smiled back, shaking his head and relaxing onto the sofa. He was glad it was almost the weekend. He needed to take time and sit down to work on his homework before he fell too much farther behind. Besides, maybe if he just focused, he’d be able to get past this the old fashioned way. Hopefully.
Isaac walked out of the Argents guestroom, his cell phone in hand. He made his way down the hallway slipping his phone in his pocket when he reached Allison’s bedroom door. He had just gotten off the phone with Ms. McCall, she was checking in on him making sure the Argents were treating him okay and asking if he needed her to send him some food. A small grin appeared on his lips. Scott’s mom was the best, he missed her.
But Isaac understood that Stiles needed her right now and it wasn’t like they’d be there forever. She’d told him she and Scott would most likely be home next week, which he was glad about, not that he didn’t like staying with Allison, he’d just be happy when he was back in his own space at the McCall’s.
Isaac reached up and knocked on the door, his gaze traveling to the other end of the hallway where Mr. Argent’s office was. He was pretty sure the older hunter was working on a new deal for work. That or he just liked hanging out in his office which was possible.
“Come in,” Allison called, looking up from where she was sprawled across the bed, open history book in front of her as she read the chapter they’d been assigned. Midterms were rapidly approaching and she’d fallen behind while Stiles had been possessed and then when she’d been injured during said possession. She wasn’t completely healed yet, but close enough. She still wasn’t able to participate in PE, though if she never had to run at the preserve again, she wouldn’t complain.
Isaac pulled the door open and poked his head into Allison’s room. He grinned, “Hey, I’m bored, can I come in?” He asked stepping into her room and closing the door behind him before she could even answer.
“Of course.” She smiled up at him and patted the spot on the bed beside her. “Not sure how unboring I’ll be though, considering.” She pulled the cover of her book up so he could see what it was, making a face.
Isaac walked over to the bed and sat down beside her glancing over the large text book. “You should take a break,” he suggested as he brushed his hand down her arm. “How are you feeling?” He asked the concern in his voice clear. Isaac knew Allison was healing up nicely and she hadn’t had any trouble, but he still worried.
Allison smiled faintly, marking her place in the book and shutting the covers. “All right. A break it is. I’m okay, Isaac. Hardly any pain left at all.” Not that she’d dealt with too much of it. He’d insisted on draining her pain on a regular basis.
He nodded, “I’m glad,” he said resting his hand near hers, their fingers lightly touching. “I just got off the phone with Ms. McCall. She said they’ll probably be home next week,” he commented. There was pretty much only one thing he was going to miss about the Argent household and that was being so close to Allison. “I forgot to tell you, I had lunch with Scott and Kira today.”
She considered that for a moment. “Well that’s good. That means that Stiles is getting better, right?” She arched her eyebrows, then looked down at their fingers, reaching out and sliding hers between his. “How did that go? Was everything okay?” There was a hint of worry in her voice.
Isaac tilted his head. “I don’t know about Stiles, but Scott seemed okay today. It wasn’t as bad as last time...we actually talked a little. I think Kira is a calming influence on him,” he told her watching Allison’s face to see her reaction to his words.
She smiled softly, looking up at him. “Good.” She knew she wasn’t Scott’s anchor anymore and she was okay with that. They’d both moved on. “Maybe we should plan to go see Stiles soon. I’ve texted with him a few times, but I feel like we should go and see him.”
Isaac scratched the back of his head with his free hand and nodded, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Who knows when he’s coming back to school,” he commented, “So yeah, it’ll be nice to see him and Ms. McCall,” he responded. “Have you talked to Lydia?” He inquired.
She’d asked Stiles that very question over text and he’d simply responded with “not sure yet.” She didn’t want to push because it wasn’t like she was that close with Stiles, but she was concerned. “Yeah, I’m sure it will,” Allison said softly, looking down at the mention of Lydia. “No, not really.”
Isaac brushed his thumb over her hand, “Well she hasn’t really been in school all that much,” he murmured, “I’m sure she’ll reach out to you once she comes back.” He reassured her knowing that even though she didn’t talk about it often she was upset that things with her and Lydia were rocky. “Things are gonna be okay.” He told her.
“I know.” Her voice was more confident than she felt, though. The whole situation from beginning to end had been horrible for everyone. They hadn’t done very well at working together and cooperating and coming up with a plan, really.
Then again, Stiles was usually the guy they looked to for a plan.
“I guess I’m just kind of realizing how we don’t really all function as a group all that well. Like there’s always these little divides.” She sighed softly. “Do you think all packs are like this?”
Isaac was quiet for a minute, “I think there aren’t any packs like us out there.” He said with a small grin, “I mean what kind of pack can say that human members outnumber the actual wolves,” he joked. “We’ve got a hunter, a banshee, a Stiles,” he paused, “And then me and Scott...and possibly Derek too.”
Isaac shifted turning his body towards Allison, “It’s weird even though Derek and Scott didn’t always get along Derek’s always been there for him and even now when everything went down I’ve gotta say I didn’t expect him to choose sides let alone the one he did.” Isaac sighed, “I think we all probably should have worked together, but sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. I’m loyal to Scott, but you’ll always be my first priority,” he whispered not used to feeling that way or verbalizing it.
Allison shifted to her side too, propping her head up on one hand as she looked at him. “We are kind of a ragtag group,” she admitted. “And if you throw in my dad -- which I know is really iffy at this point, and Stiles’ dad, and Scott’s mom…” She wasn’t sure how that worked, really. It was all a strange concept, being part of a pack of werewolves when more of them were human than supernatural.
She was quiet at the mention of Derek, considering Isaac’s words. “I think that deep down; Derek’s got a little bit of a soft spot for Stiles. I mean, Stiles has saved his life a few times, and it’s kind of hard not to feel a little attached to someone who does that.” She met his eyes, reaching out with her free hand and cupping his cheek, leaning forward to kiss him softly on the mouth.
Isaac returned the kiss shifting closer to her and lifting his hand threading through her hair. It was soft and she smelled amazing, she always smelled amazing. He leaned into her deepening the kiss as he moved his mouth over hers. He broke the kiss a minute later and rested his forehead against hers. “I sure hope Derek’s not thanking Stiles the same way you are me,” he joked, a silly grin pull at his lips as he ran his free hand down her arm enjoying the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips.
Allison wrinkled her nose. “Somehow I really doubt it. They just don’t seem like they’re that into each other.” She chuckled, letting her eyes drift close and starting when her bedroom door opened. “God, Dad. Knocking. It’s a thing.” She sighed.
Chris Argent eyed the two of them warily, gaze lingering momentarily on Isaac. “Sorry,” he said, not really sounding sorry at all. “How’s the studying going?” he asked meaningfully.
“I’m allowed to take breaks.”
“Not when they’re kissing breaks,” he deadpanned. Chris liked Isaac well enough. The kid had risked his life to save Allison and hadn’t left her side since the hospital, but he was still a werewolf and that meant Chris would never fully trust him with his baby girl. He stepped into the room, his hands rolling something over between them. “I was cleaning out the office and I found this,” he said pausing at the foot of the bed and holding it out to Allison. “Can you give it to Scott? And ask him to give it back to Stiles?”
Allison’s eyebrows furrowed as she looked from him to the phone and back again. “Sure? But why do you have Stiles’ phone?” she asked, confused. She knew Stiles had recently gotten a new phone because he’d misplaced his old one at some point while he was possessed, but she really couldn’t fathom why her dad had it or how he’d ended up with it.
Chris hesitated, “He gave it to me the night he was cured,” he told them wanting to leave the conversation at that, but he could see the curiosity in their gazes.
“You were there?” She narrowed her eyes at her dad.
Chris sighed. “Stiles text me where he was...he didn’t want to hurt anyone else.” He told them as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Isaac gulped, “You were there to…stop him?” He asked.
Chris’s gaze shifted to Isaac, “Weren’t you prepared to do the same thing?” He asked.
Isaac winced and looked away from him. He still felt badly about how he handled things.
“God.” Allison closed her eyes. “He tried twice. Does...does Scott know? Does his dad know? Or Lydia?”
Chris sighed, “Scott and Derek know, they were there,” more like they were the reason he had stopped. “I don’t believe the sheriff or Lydia know and it’s probably best to keep it that way,” he told them pointedly.
Isaac made a face. “I’m certainly not telling them.” He snorted.
“Yeah, but what if he needs help?” she pressed, looking between them. “I mean I know it’s not exactly flat out suicide, but it’s pretty close.” Her voice was full of worry.
Chris tilted his head to the side, “He was doing the right thing. He was trying to protect the people he cares about because he was dangerous. But that’s not the case anymore.” He explained, “He’s got a bunch of people around him who care, I’m sure he’ll be okay, but if you want to bring it up I’m not going to stop you,” he added.
Isaac glanced at Allison and squeezed her hand gently.
“Maybe I’ll just...talk to Scott,” she said after a moment, looking from her dad to Isaac. “I’m sure he’s got a pretty good idea of how Stiles is doing mental-health wise at this point.” After all, Scott was literally living at the Stilinski’s at the moment. So if anyone knew how Stiles was really doing, it would be his best friend in the world.
Chris nodded, “That’s probably best.” He told her before glancing between them. “Just make sure you let him know about the phone.” He hadn’t forgotten what Stiles said about the messages on his phone.
It took her a moment to realize that her dad meant to let Scott know about the phone. “Right. Okay. I will.” She glanced at Isaac, and then down at the phone in her hand. Absently she wondered how many phones Stiles had gone through in the last few months. It seemed like he’d had to replace them more frequently than most. Then again, he was involved with the supernatural side of things pretty heavily and things like phones had the tendency to get broken pretty easily.
Chris nodded and glanced between his daughter and Isaac, “Door open when you’re in here together,” he said with an eyebrow arched, “Got it?”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Yes, Dad,” she said, tone slightly annoyed.
“Yes, Sir, Mr. Argent,” Isaac said immediately, much more obedient. But he had reasons to be. It wouldn’t be Allison that Chris killed for disobeying.
Chris shook his head, “How is this my life?” He mumbled as he walked out of the room and into the hallway heading back to his office.
Isaac was silent until he was sure Mr. Argent was locked away in his office. He had a feeling that the older man felt a lot guiltier than he let on. “I’m a little afraid that one of these days your dad is going to stop letting me get away with being in a room with you alone...half naked and or kissing.” He commented casually.
Allison quirked an eyebrow at him. “One of these days I’m going to install a lock on my door, and possibly my own alarm system,” she informed him with a faint smirk.
Isaac glanced at her, “Uh, it’s going to be an alarm to keep your dad out right? Not me?” He asked with half a grin.
A short laugh escaped her and she leaned over and kissed him lightly in response. “Obviously.”
The goofy grin was back on Isaac’s face. “Good.” He said as he cupped her cheek. “You know when I go back home, you’re welcome to visit...unless that would be weird for you,” he added realizing it might be since she dated Scott before him.
There were so many ways that would be weird for her, but she didn’t say so. Instead, she just leaned into his touch. “We’ll figure it out.”
Isaac nodded, “How about I lay up there,” he pointed to the top of the bed, “You come lay with me, and I’ll read that chapter you’ve been trying to study for to you,” he offered.
She cocked her head, a smile pulling at her lips. “You’re going to read me the history chapter?” It was adorable and sweet and god, she was such a school girl with a crush it was ridiculous.
“Yeah, you want to study, your dad wants you to study without me,” he shrugged, “I want to be in here with you, so we compromise.” He grinned, “I get to be with you, you get to study, everyone is happy.” He told her softly as he brushed his thumb over her cheek.
“Okay.” She turned her head and kissed his thumb lightly, moving to sit up and picking up the text book, holding it out to him and moving to sit back against her pillows.
Isaac shifted gripping the book with one hand and sliding his body back against the pillows. Once situated he took the time to wrap an arm around Allison pulling her into his side before opening the book. “Here we go, chapter 8,” he said with a smile before diving into the chapter calmly and slowly, all the while enjoying the feel of Allison in his arms.
Stiles was doing his best to suppress his own anxiety as he followed Scott into Dr. Deaton’s office after dinner that night. Scott’s mom had cooked a really wonderful-smelling and tasting lasagna, which hadn’t tasted so wonderful when it came back less than twenty minutes after the dishes were done. His throat still hurt from throwing up and while he suspected that Scott had probably heard, he just hoped his dad and Scott’s mom were none the wiser. It was just nerves.
“What time did he say he’d be here?” he asked as he paced the floor in the front of the office, rubbing the back of his neck as he moved. Stiles was perpetually in motion and had been since he was a kid. It was when he was still and silent that people should be worry.
Scott could feel him getting worked up and he walked over and placed his hands on his best friend’s shoulders stilling his movements. “Hey, relax everything is going to be okay. He should be here any minute,” he promised. “Deaton will help us,” he said as he met his friends gaze.
“I will definitely do my best to do that,” Deaton said coming up behind them, keys in hand. “Good evening boys,” he stepped around them and used his keys to open the door. He pulled it open and motioned for them to follow him inside, “What can I do for you?” He asked his tone light.
Scott motioned for Stiles to go first.
Stiles gave Scott a small smile even though the urge to pace didn’t dissipate. It rarely did if he was standing. Especially lately. He turned at the sound of Deaton’s familiar voice, pursing his lips. It had been awhile since he’d actually seen the doctor. Since the day that he’d yelled at him in the hospital, and that had been weeks ago. Fortunately, Deaton seemed to be a forgiving kind of person.
“How do you know if you’re meant to be an emissary?” he asked without preamble.
Deaton arched an eyebrow as he dropped the keys on the counter and opened the small swinging door to move into the back of the veterinary hospital. “That’s a very specific question,” he commented his gaze drifting to Stiles, studying the younger man.
He unbuttoned his jacket and shrugged it off. “There’s no specific list of traits a person is required to have in order to be an emissary.” He said finally glancing between Stiles and Scott. “Typically an emissary is from a family of druids, one who has been education in the old teachings as well as the ones that have been passed down so they can relate to the packs,” he explained.
“But it’s not unheard of to find an emissary that has no ties to being a druid personally, but is merely close to a pack and naturally talented with druid...magic is the wrong word, but essentially what it boils down to.” He told them calmly.
Stiles listened intently as Deaton talked, chewing on his thumbnail. “So it’s usually more of a born thing that you grow up learning from people who actually know what they’re doing.” He questioned the flicker of actual disappointment he felt. He guessed that meant he’d had his answer about whether or not he wanted to be the pack’s emissary. He barely heard the rest of what Deaton said.
Which meant this was probably a lot more likely that Peter had been bullshitting Lydia and Derek, and that this was all Lydia’s banshee powers, and Scott’s alpha powers and nothing to do with him.
“No,” Deaton said, “What I’m saying is anyone can be an emissary. Beacon Hills hasn’t had very many packs living here. My family has always been attached to the Hale family, dating all the way back to my great grandfather, maybe even further.” He said while slipping his hands into his pockets.
“My sister is the first from our family to stray to another pack.” He paused, “But now, the Hales are not the only werewolves in town,” his gaze fell to Scott. “And Scott’s pack is going to need an emissary. One that he trusts, one that can be trained to counsel him through the years.” Deaton met Stiles gaze. “One that I’ve been slowly training to be that person when it’s time.” He admitted lightly.
All the air left Stiles’ lungs in a rush and he stared at Deaton for a long moment, trying to assess whether or not he was being serious. Realizing he was, his eyes widened just a little, and his stomach did a tiny nervous flip. “Like telling me that I was the only one who could pull off the mountain ash trick with the force of my will.” His heart was beating just a little faster, but not because he was scared, even if he kind of was. He looked at Scott sideways, raising his eyebrows.
Scott could feel the nervousness coming from Stiles and he addressed Deacon, “Why didn’t you tell us? Me?” He asked not angry, just curious.
Deaton was silent for a minute. “Yes, the mountain ash trick was a test. You passed,” he confirmed. “There is usually a reason for everything that I do. Scott you’re a different kind of alpha, a true alpha. You’re outlook on the world as whole isn’t as grim as a lot of the other packs.” He explained to both of them.
“Your pack consists of both humans and wolves a distinction that other packs might think is a weakness, but in truth it’s a strength.” He took a breath, “Scott needs an emissary who understands that, someone who is close to him and yet understands the need to make hard choices and can council Scott to make those choices. Someone who can guide him in the right direction taking into account his safety above all else so the pack survives and honestly with the close relationship the two of you share there was never any real doubt in my mind that you wouldn't eventually take on an emissary role in Scott’s pack.”
Stiles fell silent as Deaton explained. It wasn’t like they didn’t know that Scott’s pack wasn’t just wolves. That wasn’t a surprise to hear him talk about. He knew the pack wasn’t the norm. They may have been the only pack on the planet that actually had members who weren’t wolves. It was a unique situation. Someone who can guide him in the right direction taking into account his safety above all else. Stiles knew that getting Scott to take care of himself first would always be an uphill battle and he glanced at his best friend sideways.
Scott stood there quietly for a minute digesting what Deaton said. “That’s why I can feel Stiles,” he said quietly. “Lydia too. Just like I feel Isaac and Derek.” He said meeting Deaton’s gaze. “And the other stuff...is it going to keep getting stronger?”
Deaton watched Scott for a moment before sighing. “It depends on how long it takes you to learn how to control it. Notice how you only feel Isaac and Derek if they need you, if they’re in trouble,” he added. “It’s different with Stiles and Lydia you need to learn how to block out the regular emotions.” He explained.
Scott pursed his lips. “And Lydia, what about her?”
Deaton arched an eyebrow and glanced between Scott and Stiles, “What about her?”
“How do we do that? Block things from each other? And from Lydia? And her from us?” Stiles asked, taking a deep breath. “Like I can see where it would come in handy if one of us was in trouble but when we’re not, it’s not great.” Especially right now, he thought. “What do we do? Is there another ritual or something? Maybe a pill…?”
Deaton frowned zeroing in on one part of Stiles’ words. “Are you telling me you’re feeling Lydia?” He asked keeping his gaze on Stiles.
“And vice versa. It just started for me, but she’s been dealing with it for awhile now.” He didn’t like the look that Deaton was giving him. It made him nervous. “Why?”
Deaton cleared his throat, “Lydia is different she’s a banshee. She can’t block out your feelings. She needs to open herself up to them. The more she tries to fight them the more painful it will get for her.” He said, his brows drawing together. “It must be the connection between the two of you,” he said quietly. “If you’re starting to feel her emotions, you need to let it progress the natural way, don’t pull back from it.” Deaton told him, his tone serious.
“With Lydia her abilities in time will grow and in order for that progress to not hurt her there needs to be an exchange of emotion between the two of you. She needs to let you in and then once that happens the two of you will both be able to control the intensity of the bond between you.”
Scott rubbed the back of his head, “This is all so confusing,” he sighed. “So I can block them, but Lydia can’t block us?”
Deaton nodded. “Her connection to the rest of you won’t be as strong as her connection to Stiles. She’ll be able to feel if anyone in the pack is in trouble, but that’s the extent of her connection to them.”
“Okay but the stuff she’s getting from me right now isn’t really anything good and it’s stressing her out. So what can we do until we can figure out how to get it under control?” Stiles asked, not liking the way this was going.
Scott glanced between Stiles and Deaton. He hesitated, “What about the pills you told Stiles about?” He asked softly.
Deaton glanced from Stiles to Scott and back. “What I have will suppress the memories so they aren’t so clear. You won’t be able to relive images, but it won’t take away the knowledge of what the Nogitsune did.” He said honestly. “But Stiles, hear me clearly embrace the connection you have with Lydia, do not try to fight it. You won’t like the results.”
“What does that mean? Be less vague please. What happens if I don’t embrace the connection with Lydia?” he asked, shifting his gaze from Scott to Deaton and folding his arms across his chest.
Deaton sighed, “It’s not a science, Stiles. I don’t know. I’ve never seen this kind of connection before. I’ve read a few things, but,” he paused. “It’s never good to go against what’s meant to be. It throws off the balance.”
He knew that druids were all about balance. Deaton had told him that months ago, when the sacrifices started happening. And then he’d spent even more time reading about it. Had started collecting books on rituals and druidism and various different kinds of mythology and studying all of them every chance he had. All earth-based religions seemed to revolve heavily around the idea of balance.
He rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. Shit. This wasn’t good at all.
Scott glanced at Stiles with a frown when he felt his anxiety increasing. Deaton watched the exchange and pointed to Stiles as he spoke to Scott. “You’re feeling him right now aren’t you?”
Scott nodded, “Yeah. You said I can control this...how?” It wasn’t that Scott didn’t want to feel his best friend or Lydia. It was just that there was a lot going on and being able to sense things, people, and emotion, well it was getting to be a lot for him.
Deaton sent him a thoughtful look, “Honestly, if you looking for lessons on how to control emotion I would ask Derek. He’s been an alpha before so he probably knows what you’re experiencing now, which is normal by the way,” he added.
“Sorry,” Stiles muttered, glancing at Scott sideways. “Okay so I can’t shut off the connection with Lydia, so what about the one with Scott? What can I do to block that until he can control it?” He chewed on his lower lip nervously, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. “There has to be something right? What about just...figuring how to shut down my own emotions somehow, at will?”
Deaton arched an eyebrow at Stiles. “I’m not sure anyone can just shut down their emotions,” he commented, “But I suppose it couldn’t hurt to try. I’ll give you some literature to take home no guarantees though.” He said not wanting to give Stiles false hope.
To be honest at this point, he was willing to try and do just about anything to keep Scott and Lydia from having to deal with his baggage. There wasn’t any reason either of them should have to carry it. “All right. Give me everything you’ve got.”
Deaton nodded, “I’ll go grab some of those books for you, I’ll be right back.” He told before walking over to his office.
Scott watched Deaton go and when he was out of sight he spoke softly. “I’m sorry this trip hasn’t been as helpful as I thought it would be,” Scott said glancing at his friend. “I know you were hoping for better solutions.” He added reaching over and squeezing his friend’s shoulder.
“It’s not me I’m worried about.” Stiles sighed softly, looking at Scott.
Scott nodded, “I know. I’ll be okay, too. I can handle it until I figure out how to block the emotions. I don’t want you to worry too much, man. It’s okay,” he said quietly. Scott would figure it out.
“I don’t want to overwhelm you guys. And I know I have been. And that’s just making it worse for all of us.” Stiles gave him a troubled look.
Scott’s brows drew together. “I’ll talk to Derek soon and figure out how to block it, I promise. As for Lydia,” Scott paused, “Maybe you guys should listen to Deaton. If you both stop trying to fight the connection maybe it will actually help.” He suggested.
“I don’t think feeling the overwhelming amount of guilt, and anxiety and just --” The words utter despair came to mind, but he didn’t say that. “Everything. I don’t think that’s going to help her at all. I need to just figure out a way to turn it off.” He exhaled tiredly.
Scott opened his mouth right to say something as Deaton came back into the room with two books, “Here they are. Keep them as long as you need.” He said before reaching into his pocket with his free hand and pulling out an orange prescription bottle, without a label. “Here are the pills if you decide to go that route. But remember, it represses the image of the memory so that you can’t easily conjure it. It does not make you forget what he did.”
“Is it permanent? If I take them? Or do I have to keep taking them in order for it to keep working?” Stiles reached out and took the books and the bottle of pills, looking at the pill bottle in his hands. He suspected it was the latter. “And will they interact with Adderall?”
Scott watched them closely as Deaton spoke. “You’ll have to keep taking them at least until you’ve come to terms with what happened. Once you have if you stop the memories will still be faded, but even if they come through...it won’t hurt the way it does now.” He told the teenager in front of him. “You should be fine with the Adderall,” he added, “But try not to have too much caffeine the combination of all three might keep you awake at night.”
“And if I don’t sleep, they don’t sleep.” Stiles sighed, rubbing his hand over his face and looking at Scott. “And neither does my dad.” Or Scott’s mom when she was over. “Got it.” He tucked the bottle into his jeans’ pocket and exhaled.
Scott sent Deaton half a smile. “Thanks for the help. I’ll go talk to Derek this weekend.” Tomorrow was Friday so he’d set aside some time on Saturday to talk to the other werewolf hoping that he’d be slightly more helpful than Deaton.
Deaton nodded, “Anytime...and remember what I said, both of you. It really is better to embrace the changes rather than push them aside. Balance is important. Without it...well we don’t know what can happen.”
“Thanks, Deaton,” Stiles said quietly, nodding at him. “I have a feeling I’ll be seeing a lot more of you in the near future.” He glanced at Scott, then headed for the door.
Scott nodded at Deaton and then followed Stiles out of the building. He glanced sideways at his friend. “Are you going to tell Lydia?” He asked while pulling the keys to Stiles’ jeep out of his pocket.
“About being the pack’s emissary?” He didn’t look at Scott as he moved to the passenger side of the vehicle.
Scott walked to the driver’s side and pulled open the door, “About any of it.” He said while getting in, pulling the door shut, and starting the jeep.
He let out a breath, climbing into the seat and pulling on his seatbelt. “Yeah. Yeah, probably.”
Scott nodded as he put the car in gear. “I think that’s a good idea.” He told his friend quietly while pulling out into the street. The last thing they needed was to start keeping secrets from each other.
“Even if I tried to lie about it, she’ll feel that I’m lying, so it kind of defeats the purpose, right?” He chewed on his lower lip.
Scott sent a quick glance in Stiles direction before returning his gaze to the road. He wasn’t sure if his friend sounded angry, annoyed or something else entirely. “Look, I know this isn’t ideal, but trust me we’ve gotten through worse than being able to feel each other’s feelings...that sounded weird,” Scott sighed.
Mostly Stiles was just tired. And frustrated. “Have we?” His voice was almost inaudible.
Scott arched an eyebrow keeping his eyes on the road. “Well personally I felt the possession part of our relationship wasn’t our finest moment,” he commented lightly, joking, “So if we’re talking Nogitsune verses feeling each other’s emotional states I’m gonna go ahead and say yeah, we’ve been through worse and gotten to the other side in one piece, mostly.”
Stiles winced at that, rubbing a hand over his face. Mostly, he thought, looking out the window. He was just going to have to focus on getting his own emotions under control, no matter how difficult it was. “Yeah, I guess you have a point there. At least I’m not actively killing anyone.”
Scott swallowed hard, “That’s not what I meant,” he told his friend quietly. He was silent for a minute, “Look, I know I’ve said this before, but I know this is hard. I know we have no idea how hard it is to live with the kind of things the Nogitsune did in your body, but Stiles you’ve gotta give yourself a break.” He responded, his voice calm, but sad.
“I don’t know how many times we can tell you this wasn’t your fault. We love you and while he did terrible things, you didn’t do them. You’re a victim...just like everyone else the Nogitsune hurt.”
“No, I know. I know it wasn’t what you meant.” He sighed, leaning his head against the glass window of the passenger season. The problem was, he tended to blame himself for a lot of things that he wasn’t really to blame for. Even as a kid. Someone had to take responsibility for the crap that happened. It was just the way of the world. Stiles really just needed to learn how to keep his mouth shut sometimes. How was he going to be any kind of decent emissary between being a wreck and being as sarcastic as he was all the time?
Scott reached out with his free hand keeping the other securely on the wheel. He squeezed Stiles shoulder. “We’ll get through this. I know I keep saying that, but it’s because it’s true and until then...one day at a time.”
Stiles glanced at him sideways, sighing softly again and nodding. His best friend was an eternal optimist. And he wouldn’t have it any other way. Maybe he just needed to start having more faith in Scott. Or trying to be more like Scott in general. “Yeah. One day at a time,” he echoed quietly.