Title: Lost on Purpose
Season: Season 1-8
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the CW and the Creators of Smallville.
Edited By: dh1031
Category: One-Shot, Angst
Requested By: Sarah
The room was dark as I made my way inside through the balcony window. I unzipped the black nylon suit and peeled it from my body. It fell to the ground and pooled around my feet. I stepped out of it and walked toward the bathroom. I went over to the shower and turned the faucet on to let the water warm up.
I moved in front of the sink and glanced at the mirror…the woman looking back at me was a stranger. I sighed, leaned in and removed the contact lenses that were hiding my green eyes. I tossed them in the trash and still, when I looked back I still did not recognize the reflection in the mirror.
Long dark hair flowed over my shoulders and I pushed a few stray strands behind my ears. The mirror started to fog up and I knew the shower was close to being ready. I reached behind me unhooked my bra, stepped out of my panties and stepped into the shower.
I groaned as the hot water cascaded down my body, slowly loosening my tense muscles. As I stood there under the scalding water the tears fell and my mind drifted back to that night two years ago…
I grinned as I rolled my eyes in Oliver’s direction.
“I can’t believe you said that. Sometimes I swear your mouth isn’t connected to your brain.”
“You know, your cousin tells me that all the time. So, can I give you a ride back to the farm?”
I glanced around the office to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything. I can’t believe I got everything done two hours early…looks like I’ll be able to spend a quiet night at home with Clark after all…Oliver’s hand on my arm brought me out of my thoughts.
I shook my head and smiled.
“Actually that would be great. I was running late this morning so Clark ran me to work, leaving me without a car.”
He held out his arm.
“Well then Miss Sullivan, it would be my pleasure to escort you home.”
I grinned and we headed out to his car and off to the farm. The drive to Smallville was quiet and it gave me time to think. I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since the whole Doomsday debacle…I was finally able to put Jimmy to rest…and Clark, the whole ‘Clark Kent is dead’ speech, only lasted like two months before he came back home.
Lois came back from the future without any memory of it, thank god for that…and she and Oliver were finally back on track with their relationship, or at least heading in that direction, and me…well things between Clark and I have been different lately.
We’ve finally taken our friendship to the next level. For the past two months Clark and I have been in a relationship…and shifting from friends to more than friends wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be. Oliver’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.
“Have you heard from Tess lately?”
I sighed. Ah, the thorn in my side…I shook my head.
“Not for a couple of weeks now. Maybe she’s finally decided that my ‘No, I don’t want to join your group of super villains’ actually means no…”
“Anything’s possible, but she’s not the type to give up easily.”
“Really? I couldn’t tell. I don’t get it…why risk telling me all about her ‘secret’ operation just to get me to join when she had to know my answer would be no. Does she really think I’d go against Clark? That I’d abandon you guys?”
He gave me a one armed shrug as he drove.
“I haven’t got the slightest idea. Tess is used to getting what she wants…you’re not giving her what she wants; so, I suppose she thinks if she keeps asking, you’ll eventually get tired of listening to her, and just say ‘yes’ to get her to shut up.”
I smirked and I saw his lip curl up slightly in response. Not too long later we made our way up the driveway. Oliver parked and shut off the car. I opened the door, got out and looked over my shoulder in confusion.
“You coming in to say hi?”
He motioned to the car parked further up the driveway to the side of the house. I frowned. What’s Lois doing here?
“Are they working on another story?”
“Clark didn’t mention it.”
We made our way up the back steps and through the kitchen door. There were plates on the table and I could see a fire going in the living room. I glanced around, but didn’t see Clark.
I looked at Oliver and he shrugged.
No answer…that’s odd…I heard a noise coming from upstairs. I frowned and told Oliver to look around downstairs while I checked on the noise. I made my way up the steps and when I got to Clark’s room, his door was slightly ajar.
I pressed my hand against the door and pushed it open. My eyes widened and I heard a gasp leave my throat. Clark turned his head and I saw shock, guilt, and confusion filter across his face. I felt my heart plummet in my chest and shatter as I backed away from his room.
I heard him call out to me, but I didn’t stop moving. I felt like I couldn’t breathe…
My chest burned so I opened my mouth and took in a deep breath. I turned so I was facing the water and put my hands against the wall in front of me. It’s been two years and that image is still seared into my memory. Walking in on Lois and Clark changed me. That night I went to Tess…
I accepted her offer and became a part of her team. It wasn’t until a year later that I found out Tess was the cause of Clark and Lois’ indiscretion, but by then it was too late for me to go back and fix the damage caused…the damage that I was now so much a part of.
Tess infected Lois and Clark while they were working on a story together…One of Lex’s earlier experiment’s, that was completed when Tess took over Luthor Corp and all its subsidiaries, was a toxin that released the inhibitions and morals of all those who breathed in the gas.
The end result of Tess’ little experimental procedure with Clark and Lois was what I walked in on. It wore off as soon as Clark saw me and the signals in his brain started firing the right messages again. If only I had known then what I know now…
But two years is a long time…and I’ve made a deal with the devil…sooner or later Clark is going to find out who I am, until then I’m content with the lie…I hate to think what he’d think of me if he knew how I spent these past two years…
I turned off the water, stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. I took a hand and wiped the fog off the mirror. My body was bright pink. The water had scalded my skin. I stood there for a couple of minutes, focused my energy, and when I opened my eyes my skin was healed back to its normal shade.
I couldn’t stand looking at myself anymore so I dried off, walked into my bedroom, grabbed a short, black, silk nightgown and pulled it over my head. I folded the towel and tossed it into the dirty laundry bin as I made my way back toward the bathroom.
Halfway to the door I felt a breeze against my back and my body tensed. I shifted my eyes to the dresser on my left where one of my guns was hidden. I spun, hooked my hand behind the dresser, grabbed the gun, cocked it, and pointed it toward the balcony.
Standing in front of the open doors, curtain blowing in the night’s breeze stood Oliver Queen. I clenched my jaw as he raised an eyebrow and walked around the room looking at things as he went by.
“I like it.”
I followed his movements with the gun. He came to a stand still about 10 feet in front of me.
“How long have you been living here?”
My jaw tensed as I took a deep breath to calm the adrenaline flowing inside me. Another side effect of Tess’ monthly magic injection…something she’s been giving all of us for the past two years to boost our powers…
“That’s you’re business how?”
He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.
“I was just trying to figure out how long you’ve been living here, right under my nose.”
My lips tweaked in up into a slight smirk.
“Longer than you know. What do you want Oliver?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“What do I want?”
“Yes, why are you here?”
He shifted his footing and I compensated by shifting my stance. His eyes took me in and I knew what he was seeing. I’ve spent the last two years training with Tess’ people…they’ve spent the last two years turning my body into a weapon.
“I’m not here for a fight. You can stand down Chloe…”
I sent a glare his way.
“Don’t call me that.”
“No? What should I call you? Obsidian? Or Panaceia?”
I swallowed hard, but didn’t flinch. Little nicknames I've picked up over the years...partly do to the fact that I'm always in black and partly becuase I can heal or kill with a touch of my hands...
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“He still looks for you…do you know that?”
I gave Oliver a sadistic smile.
“I don’t know what you think it is you’ve stumbled onto here, but whatever it is, you’re wrong. You don’t know me anymore Oliver; so don’t come into my home and assume things will be the way they’d been in the past.”
He nodded, pulled his hands out of his pockets and held them up.
“Fair enough, but he’s going to figure it out sooner or later…and when he does, how do you think he’s going to feel about the woman he loves…the one he’s been searching for since she mysteriously disappeared…being the same woman he’s been facing off against for the past year or so. The same woman who’s been taking down the Justice League with her army of super villains…”
I swallowed hard. He’s right…I can’t fool Clark forever. Sooner or later he’s going to figure out who I am…and when that day comes…I’ll handle it.
“You know Oliver, last I heard you weren’t part of the Justice League anymore…according to my sources you quite literally almost drank yourself into a grave…so why you care is beyond me.”
I saw his body tense and his jaw clench.
“I’ve made mistakes, but at least I’m looking for redemption…the darkness hasn’t consumed my soul…I’m not sure I can say the same about you.”
His voice softened and he continued.
“You don’t need to be this person anymore…if you came back home…if you left this life behind…he’d forgive you…I know he would.”
I’ve dreamed of that…I’ve dreamed of taking off the suit…of leaving this life behind…going home to him, but I can’t…she saw to that. I’m the strongest person she has on her side…and she won’t let me go without a fight…a fight that I won't put him through.
“I can’t go back Oliver…even if I wanted to…I think you should go.”
He looked at me for a long time before he shook his head and turned on his heels. I followed him as he walked toward my front door. He turned the knob and pulled the door open. I spoke and he paused with one foot out the door.
“And don’t bother telling him where I am…I’ll be gone before morning.”
He didn’t turn just continued walking out and shut the door behind him. When the door was shut I dropped my arm and clicked the gun’s safety back on. I swallowed hard and as I walked back toward my room I could feel the water pooling in my eyes.
I made my way out onto the balcony, leaned on the railing, and glanced at the city around me. The sky was filled with gleaming stars as the light from the buildings lit up the city. I closed my eyes and let the breeze blow over me.
I could smell the city as I opened my eyes and glanced at a tall building not too far in the distance. I could feel the emotions building up again and I had to take a few breaths to control them. I shook my head and spoke in a quiet voice.
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry Clark…no matter where I am…I’ll always love you…”
My next words came out in a whisper, but carried over the wind.
“Forgive me Clark…”
I stood on the balcony of headquarters as I looked out at the city. Today was a hard day…Tess’ people hit us pretty bad earlier…Bart was hurt and Victor got thrown around a bit. I sighed. It’s been almost two years to the day since I’ve seen Chloe…
I miss her laugh…I miss her smile…I miss holding her…I miss her…Oliver is trying to make his way back to the team…he’s been helping us out lately and I think he’s finally getting himself back on track. I shifted and leaned on the railing.
I felt her today…when we were in the middle of fighting I felt her…and it threw me off my game. It was the first time in over a year I’ve felt her. I know she was near me today…I just don’t know where…I messed up…I slept with Lois, but even to this day I’m still unclear as to how it happened.
I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard my name. I frowned and glanced around me, but no one was outside. I looked through the doors and everyone was out of sight. I closed my eyes and focused on the sound.
“…no matter where I am…I’ll always love you…forgive me Clark…”
My eyes jerked open. Chloe…I leapt off the balcony and I followed the sound. I honed every sense I had and I followed the voice…the distinct sound of a heart beat…I sped through the city and when I stopped I was on a balcony in the same building Oliver lives in.
I frowned. What the hell…I walked toward the open doors as the curtains were blowing in the wind. I saw something glisten and I stopped and picked it up. I fingered the necklace in my hands as I glanced into the empty apartment. There was no heart beat…no voice.
I shook my head. She’s gone…she’s been right under my nose all this time…I walked around her apartment and I couldn’t help the shiver that ran through me. She left in a hurry…I sighed…All this time I thought maybe someone took her…
I thought maybe Tess captured her or she was hurt…but that’s not the case…Chloe wasn’t taken…she’s lost...on purpose…she doesn’t want to be found…I gave the apartment one last look as I curled my fingers around the necklace and sped off.
Chloe might not want to be found, but I’ll never give up…I don’t care where she is or what she’s done…I love her…nothing’s ever going to change that…you hear that Chloe? Wherever you are…whatever you’re involved with…I’ll find you…
Because no one can be lost forever…