Chapter 4
Chapter 3
“Par For The Course”
(Amy POV)
I ran into the kitchen, over the toys, and to the table. I pushed the clothes off of my school books and started rummaging through one of my text books. Today is not a good morning. John slept a total of about one hour last night, I stayed up practically all night finishing up a paper, and now I can’t find it, I’m still in my pajamas and I’m running late.
I let out a frustrated sigh and called out to my mom.
“Mom…I can’t find my paper…my history paper. I put it inside my book…ugh.”
I was flipping through the second book when the door in the kitchen opened and crashed into John’s bouncy seat. I turned around and looked up in time to see Ricky walk through the door. I braced my hands against the counter and frowned.
“What?”
He raised an eyebrow and walked toward me.
“What? Good morning.”
He leaned against the counter opposite me.
“I thought I’d come by to see if I could take John to the nursery for you this morning.”
“You don’t have a car seat.”
He sighed.
“I do have a car seat…the same one you have in your mom’s car.”
“Still…”
I shook my head and spoke in a tired voice.
“You don’t know how to drop him off. You have to go in with him, and hold him, and walk him around the place until he’s used to it. And then you have to put him in the bed. You don’t know which bed.”
He gave me a patient look, but I could tell he was upset. I don’t know why I keep doing this…Ricky has really come through for me lately and it would be nice to not have to worry about taking John to the nursery this morning since I’m running late.
“I bet someone could tell me…come on. I’ll take him and you can take your time getting ready for school.”
I could see how bad he wanted to take John and I felt horrible for making him beg. I felt tears gather in my eyes as I looked away from him for a minute to pull myself together. I don’t know what is wrong with me lately. I thought the hormones were bad when I was pregnant…well they don’t seem to have gotten any better.
When I looked back over at Ricky he was frowning. I nodded.
“You can take John. I’m…I’m sorry I was giving you a hard time. I just…”
My voice trailed off and he tilted his head to the side and gave me a once over. His voice was soft when he spoke.
“Rough night?”
I nodded.
“Kind of…John didn’t sleep well. He only got about an hour of sleep last night and I can’t find my history paper, which I stayed up practically all night writing.”
He was quiet for a minute before speaking.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
I rolled my eyes and spoke in a frustrated voice as I gestured with my hands.
“Ricky, I can’t call you every time John cries or gets fussie or I can’t get him to sleep. That’s ridiculous. I need to do this myself. I need to be able to take care of our son. I can’t just call you when things get hard.”
He pursed his lips, placed his hands on the counter, and leaned toward me. I could see his eyes soften as he spoke in a low voice.
“Amy…I’m not saying call me every time John cries, but I’m here. You know…I come around here everyday or I try to so I can spend time with John. If you need me to take him to the nursery…or pick him up or just hang out here with him so you can do what you need to do then I’m okay with that.”
He gave me a small shrug.
“He’s my son…”
He trailed off and I watched him scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment. Ricky is not a speech giver and he certainly isn’t one for emotional talks. This is probably the most he’s said in one sentence since we met. I gave him a small smile and sighed.
“I’m sorry that I always give you a hard time. I know you only want to be here for him.”
“So, we’re good?”
I laughed.
“Yeah, we’re good.”
He nodded and spoke in a playful voice.
“Good, now where’s my son?”
Before I could say anything my mom came into the kitchen holding John. She grinned at Ricky.
“Good morning Ricky.”
She moved John’s blanket back and turned him to face Ricky. I watched his face light up as he looked at John and my mom spoke to him again.
“Hey John, say hi to Ricky…here’s your daddy.”
“Hey there little fella…good morning.”
I cleared my throat to get my mom’s attention.
“Ricky’s going to take John to the nursery this morning.”
She looked surprised as she looked between us.
“Really?”
I nodded. She looked at Ricky, smiled, and handed John to him. He took him gently and then grabbed John’s bag off the counter. My mom patted him on the shoulder and he glanced at me with a smile on his face.
I walked over and gave John a kiss on the forehead before moving back.
“Be careful.”
He shook his head and grinned.
“He’ll be fine. I’ll see you at school and I’ll give you a minute by minute report, promise.”
“Bye.”
He nodded before leaving with John in tow. I spent the next fifteen minutes talking to my mom and getting my things together for school. I made my way into my room and plopped down on my bed. Ugh…so let’s see what’s going on today…my dad’s taking me to school because my mom had an important meeting and then a doctors appointment.
Everyone’s going to be at Dr. Bowman’s funeral today…just another thing I have to miss out on. I closed my eyes. I’ll just lay here for a second…
(George POV)
I glanced down at my watch and sighed. What is taking Amy so long…I walked next door and open the kitchen door. I saw Anne in the kitchen.
“Hey, where’s Amy?”
She shrugged.
“I guess she’s getting ready.”
I shook my head before giving Anne a once over.
“How you feelin’?”
She sighed.
“Pregnant. I still can’t believe I’m having a baby.”
She shook her head.
“I can’t believe it. You know George, we still haven’t filed for divorce.”
I shrugged and tried to appear unaffected by the word divorce.
“Gimmie the papers, I’d be happy to sign…You getting married again?”
“I guess.”
Huh…maybe he doesn’t want to marry her or better yet maybe she doesn’t want to marry him.
“You guess…your new boyfriend doesn’t want to get married?”
She shrugged and looked down.
“Yeah he wants to get married, but it’s because I’m having a baby and it’s not a good feeling. I doubt we’d even be talking about this if it wasn’t for what happened, but it happened so…”
“So…”
She tilted her head and gave me a look.
“So, we need to get the divorce going.”
I really don’t want to get a divorce…
“We’re we leave it?”
“We left it with my attorney was going to send you the papers as soon as I looked at them, but I haven’t had a chance to look at them since the baby was born. Basically I asked for the house because I figured I was going to be taking care of Amy, Ashley and the baby.”
She took a deep breath before continuing.
“I asked for everything in the house and uh my car.”
I made a face.
“What else?”
She seemed a little shocked.
“Are you okay with that?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t okay with this whole thing, but it’s not like I could tell her that at this point.
“I got my own place and it’s kinda like we bought a second home. We’ve had this place for fifteen years so the payments are practically nothing and frankly I figured I owed you the house. You gave me fifteen years of your life, two beautiful children…and I chose to go outside of the marriage for sex…so if that’s the penalty…I’ll live with it.”
She was quiet for a minute before she spoke.
“Okay…thanks.”
I glanced around and frowned.
“Where’s Amy?”
Anne shrugged.
“I’ll go see if I can find her.”
I nodded and watched her walk off. I should have never cheated on Anne…now she’s having a baby and planning on marrying some guy she just met…I miss my wife…I miss our family…
(Adrian POV)
I walked through the hallway disgusted with the kids in our school. I can’t believe people are betting on whether or not Grace is going to her father’s funeral. How sick can people get? I glanced up and saw Jack ahead of me in the hallway. I called our and ran to catch up with him.
“Jack…Jack hey! Hey, how are you?”
He turned and his face was drawn in sadness.
“Not good. I was over there this morning…She hates me…and now I hate me.”
I titled my head to the side and swallowed hard. I really wish there was something I could do to make him feel better…I can’t imagine what they’re going through right now. I watched as the look on his face changed from pain to anger as he glared at me before speaking.
“And you know what…I hate you too. You started all this.”
I frowned and placed a hand over my chest. How could he think that?
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Don’t act so innocent.”
His voice got louder as he pointed at me.
“If you and I hadn’t of hooked up the first of the school year I wouldn’t have been pursuing every girl that would have sex with me the rest of the year.”
Anger surged inside me as I got into his face. My voice was harsh when I spoke.
“I think you were the one who called me.”
“So, you don’t know how to say no?”
His question was like a slap in the face. When I didn’t say anything he moved away from me and shook his head.
“You don’t do you? You’re okay having sex with any guy who’ll have sex.”
I reached up and slapped Jack across the face. I couldn’t help myself. Who the hell does he think he is? I heard a shout and looked up to see Ben running over to us.
“Whoa, whoa, hey you two, what’s going on?”
Ben placed a hand on Jack’s arm and mine. Jack gave me an angry glare, looked at Ben and then walked away. Ben turned to me, placed a hand on my arm, and gave me a concerned look.
“Are you alright?”
Since Grace’s dad died and everyone has started blaming me for what’s going on, no one has once asked me if I was alright…until now…I let all the pain I was feeling out as I spoke to Ben.
“No I’m not alright. Some how I killed Grace’s dad. It’s all my fault!”
I felt my eyes water as and there was a quaver in my voice when I spoke. He gave me a confused look.
“Because I like sex I’m responsible for Dr. Bowman dying in a plane crash.”
He made a face.
“That’s ridiculous.”
I nodded. He’s the first sane person I’ve talked to all morning.
“It is! Isn’t it?”
“Yes, of course it is. It was an accident…it had nothing to do with anything…other then mechanical failure.”
I stood there, tears in my eyes and Ben sighed. He leaned in and pulled me into a hug. After a second I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. It felt nice having someone here to comfort me for a change. Everyone always thinks I’m so strong and so independent…
Which I guess is true, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t need a shoulder to lean on every once in a while. It doesn’t mean that I don’t need to feel special…or loved…or even just like someone cares…He spoke softly as he held onto me.
“It’s not your fault…it’s not anyone’s fault.”
I took a calming breath and opened my eyes. They widened as I saw Amy walking down the hallway. She looks pissed…hmm I guess that could be because her boyfriend is hugging me…oh well people can be friends…a hug doesn’t mean anything…
Ben’s voice brought me out of my thoughts right as Amy folded her arms across her chest and stood directly behind us.
“You feeling better?”
Before I could say anything Amy cut me off.
“Why do you ask?”
I felt Ben tense, I moved my hands and he pulled away from me before turning around to face Amy. He glanced at me and then at Amy before speaking.
“Uh…Adrian…she was just having a hard time and I was comforting her. You know…as a friend.”
Normally this is where I’d get on Amy’s case or say something completely inappropriate to make her mad, but I just wasn’t in the mood to fight. There’s been enough fighting for one day. I cleared my throat and looked at Ben.
“Thanks Ben, bye Amy.”
I turned around and walked away. I needed to distract myself…maybe class would help…
(Ben POV)
Wonderful, this conversation really does not bode well for me. She looks angry, but the thing is after everything we’ve been through, she should really trust me more. I love her…I’m not going anywhere and she should know that. I’m tired of always having to defend myself.
Before I could even get a word out she spoke.
“If you’re thinking that you’re going to sleep with her because I won’t sleep with you, you’ve got another thought coming Ben Boykewich.”
I furrowed my brows. She always thinks the worst of me.
“I’m not thinking about sleeping with anyone.”
She ran a hand through her hair and I shook my head.
“Still, you better not be flirting with Adrian because you’re not getting sex from me.”
It’s like a broken record.
“I’m not flirting with anyone Amy jeez…you’re starting to get a little…insecure.”
She gave me a sarcastic smile.
“No I’m not.”
“I love you…I really love you, and we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives. So, whenever we have sex, whether it’s next year, or five years from now, or ten years from now…whenever…I’ll be fine.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?”
She had a point there…She shook her head and lowered her voice.
“All I can tell you is it’s not going to be this year.”
She walked away and I couldn’t help it I called out to her.
“By this year do you mean school year or calendar year?”
She ignored me and continued down the hall. Great…I’m going to be a virgin for the rest of my life.
(Ricky POV)
I was walking down the hallway when I saw Amy. I made my way over to her and caught the tail end of her conversation.
“People are going to see if Grace pulls herself together?”
I moved over to stand next to her and glanced between the three girls. Amy was glaring at Madison and Lauren.
“What’s…goin on?”
When Amy turned to me I could see she was angry. Great…what did I do now? To my surprise her anger wasn’t directed at me.
“Apparently the entire school wants to fine out if Grace is going to the funeral or not.”
I turned to Lauren and Madison and glared. I gestured as I spoke in a hard voice.
“Did you start some rumor that Grace isn’t going to the funeral?”
They looked at each other, then me and Amy and walked away quickly. I shook my head. People really piss me off…they shouldn’t be doing that…Grace is going through enough without having people make a spectacle out of what’s going on. I turned toward Amy and she sighed, shaking her head at her friends.
“How’d it go at the nursery? How’d John do?”
Finally something good that I can talk about.
“It went good, John’s fine. That’s a nice place, the church nursery.”
She shrugged.
“Yeah, well you don’t have to spend too much time there.”
“It’s nicer than a butcher shop.”
She folded her arms across her chest and snapped at me.
“What are you complaining?”
I shook my head. I really thought we were getting somewhere this morning…apparently I was wrong.
“No, I’m not complaining. I like working at the Butcher shop. I was just saying that the nursery’s nice…that’s all.”
She must have heard the attitude in my voice because she uncrossed her arms and nodded.
“I deserved that. I’m sorry…”
She let out a light laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. Her voice lowered as she spoke.
“I feel like all I do anymore is apologize. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
I shrugged. When I left the house this morning she seemed to be doing okay. I wonder what happened between then and now.
“Why are you in such a bad mood anyway?”
“I’m exhausted and I’m angry with Ben.”
I had to hold in a laugh. Ben’s really batting a solid zero lately.
“I know you’re exhausted, that’s why I came by to help you out this morning. I’d be happy to take John every morning.”
She mad a face.
“I don’t want you to take him every morning…”
I opened my mouth, but she cut me off.
“But maybe we can work something out and you can take him every other day or something.”
I smiled.
“Really?”
“Yeah…I think it’s time I let you be involved a little more…if you want…after all…he is your son.”
My smiled widened.
“I do want to…and thanks Amy…”
She nodded and motioned to the door at the end of the hallway.
“I should get to class.”
I nodded.
“Listen I might not be able to stop by tonight, I’m going to the funeral, but if it’s not too late I’ll try.”
The smile fell from her face and she nodded.
“See ya Ricky.”
I opened my mouth, but she was practically down the hallway before I could get anything out. I sighed, turned around, and almost ran into Adrian.
“Hey.”
She smiled.
“Hey yourself.”
She grinned at me, held her hands behind her, and spoke in a sweet voice.
“So, are we going to the funeral together? I’ve never been to one.”
Ah, so that’s what she wanted. I don’t know why she can’t just accept what I’m willing to give her…she always wants more.
I gave her a tired look.
“I’ve never been to one either.”
“So…”
She gave me a hopeful look and I titled my head to the side as I spoke.
“So, I don’t know Adrian. Maybe it’s not appropriate. Maybe we’d just look like we’re on a date or something.”
She glared at me and I watched as her body shifted into a defensive position.
“Or like we’re a couple or something?”
“…Yea…”
She crossed her arms over her chest and her voice came out harsh.
“We’re not enough of a couple to go to a funeral together?”
I shook my head.
“No, I don’t think so.”
She pursed her lips together, nodded her head, and I didn’t even see the hand coming until it was on my face. Dammit. My head moved to the side with the force and when I looked back at her I let out a laugh. If she thinks she’s going to make me mad…she’s wrong.
“What was that for?”
She shrugged.
“I just feel like slapping people today.”
I turned my head slightly when I saw Ben walk up next to me. He smiled at Adrian, she looked at him and slapped him. He gave her a startled look and spoke in a hurt voice.
“What was that for?”
She glared at him, before walking away.
“The hug.”
I turned to face Ben. What is Ben doing hugging Adrian? Hmm maybe that’s why Amy’s pissed at him…a hug is never just a hug when it comes to Adrian. My jaw clenched as I spoke.
“What hug?”
He still had that puppy dog look on his face as he spoke.
“She was upset, I hugged her.”
I shook my head.
“Just, don’t have sex with her. If you have sex with Adrian someone really will die because I wouldn’t like that…at all.”
He paled and I walked away leaving him there to think about that. It’s not that I love Adrian…I know she sleeps with guys who aren’t me and I don’t care, but Ben is dating Amy…and Amy is the mother of my son. I don’t want to see her get hurt. I’ve already hurt her enough.
Plus if she’s busy crying over Ben she can’t be there for John, and no matter who she’s with or who I’m having sex with…John comes first. I nodded to myself. Yup…that’s why I want to hit Ben right now…because of John…not because of Amy…the only problem was…I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that was true…
(Ben POV)
My dad walked with me into the butcher shop. When we got behind the counter Bunny looked up and smiled at my dad.
“El pardon, what’s up?”
He smiled at her.
“Just thought I’d come in and help out this afternoon…for old time’s sake.”
That perked my hearing up.
“What? You didn’t say anything about that on the ride over.”
He looked at me and nodded.
“Yeah, I figured I’d stay for a while.”
I let out a huff. After the day I’ve had I’m really not in the mood to spend the afternoon with my dad…plus he’s probably only doing this because he thinks I can’t handle things without Ricky.
“Dad, I can do this.”
Bunny cut in.
“I got everything for the regulars already cut and packaged. It’s right here in the case Ben, by name and order. And the basket orders have slowed down since the holidays so I got them out early and Danny’s in the back if you need him.”
I shook my head.
“So you don’t think I can do the job either?”
Why am I working here then? When neither of them answered I turned to look at my dad. I spoke to him with frustration in my voice.
“Dad, you don’t have to stay here. You should go to the funeral.”
He gave me a disappointed look.
“I don’t want to go to the funeral. I never go to funerals. You know that.”
I was getting tired of them ganging up on me so I snapped.
“You never work at the butcher shop either, I know that.”
Bunny spoke up.
“Careful with the ‘tude dude you don’t want to get fired.”
She chuckled and threw my apron to me.
“Here get your apron on. Let’s get going, I wanna get out of here.”
“Yes ma’am…on my way.”
As I walked away I heard my dad talking to Bunny.
“He thinks he’s a grown man and it’s gotten worse since the baby got here.”
“Yeah I heard him talkin’ to Ricky, but Ricky might not be the best resource for information on waiting if you know what I mean.”
Wonderful…why can’t anyone mind there own business. I walked back over to them and my dad looked at me. Bunny's tone changed and she smiled.
“Okay, good seeing you Leo, thanks I’ll be back to lock up.”
She walked around us and headed out. I glanced around the shop and looked at my dad.
“The rush is over…the mom’s stop by on their way home with the kids…there’s not much to do…I’ll be fine.”
He turned and gave me a stern look.
“I’m sure you will be. I just wanted to spend some time with you. I mean we haven’t had time to talk about Amy or the baby or anything lately.”
I shrugged.
“There’s not much to talk about.”
He frowned.
“What do you mean by that?”
I rolled my eyes. I know what he’s fishing for.
“We’re not doing anything.”
“Well you’re fifteen, you’re too young to be doing anything.”
“Tell that to all the fifteen year olds having sex.”
His voice grew louder and I could see he was getting mad.
“That’s their parents job. It’s my job to tell you that you’re too young to have sex and you of all people should know that. Your girlfriend just had a baby, a baby she’s not prepared to have, a baby that she’s struggling to take care of.”
I shrugged.
“She’s had sex, I haven’t.”
He made a face.
“It’s not some kind of contest. Who can get there first or who has or who hasn’t…”
I cut him off.
“Yes it is. The older I get the more time I spend thinking about it. I can’t help it. I mean…you’ve seen Amy.”
“I have seen Amy. She’s a very pretty girl, but come on Ben…haven’t you learned anything from everything she’s been through?”
“Yes, I’ve learned to be careful…and I hope you’re being careful too and I don’t just mean with sex.”
I watched him cross his arms over his chest and he glared at me.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t know…do you really know this woman? I mean do you really know who Betty is? I mean she could just be another woman who’s after your money.”
“She could be, but I don’t think so and mind your own business. And don’t tell me to mind my business because your business is my business until you’re on your own Mr.”
He wanted to yell…fine I can yell too.
“And how can I ever be on my own? It’s always gonna be your butcher shop, and your sausage company and your house…and your everything, but you know what it’s my sex life.”
I took off my apron, balled it up and threw it on the floor in the corner.
“I quit.”
I turned around and walked away from my father for the first time in my life. He called out to me.
“How you gonna get home?”
“I’ll take the bus.”
“You got bus fair?”
“No.”
“It’s a long way to walk…on the other hand maybe a long walk will do you good. Bye!”
I glared at him.
“Bye.”
And I left. I got outside and shook my head. Great job Ben…Amy’s mad at me…Adrian’s mad at me, Ricky hates me more than usual, and I just got into a huge fight with my dad and quit my job. Lovely…something else Amy and I can fight about later…I sighed. This is getting to be too much…
(Amy POV)
My dad and Ashley pulled away from the curb after dropping me off. I love my dad and Ashley, but sometimes they really make me angry. Ashley was one of the main reasons I kept John…she promised she’d help me with John and now all she does is get angry that I complain about things.
She doesn’t get it…no one does. I love John, and I’m glad I kept him, but it’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be and I know it’s my fault and John’s my responsibility, but it wouldn’t kill them to try and see where I’m coming from…how I’m feeling.
I glanced up and saw my mom pull into the space in front of me. I smiled. Maybe she decided to cover for me so I could go to the funeral. She got out of the car and smiled as she walked toward me.
“Are you here so I can go to the funeral?”
“No, I’m here so the woman you work with can go to the funeral.”
I sighed.
“Can’t I just go to the part that’s at the church not the gravesite service.”
A look of disappointment covered her face.
“Amy, I’m here to be with you, to help out at the nursery because you have to work.”
“But I don’t have to work if you’re here…please mom?”
Just give me a little time off…please…
“Amy…”
“Everyone is going…everyone. Did you see how full the other parking lot is?”
“Yes I did. Dr. Bowman has been a doctor in this community for twenty years and he was a deacon at the church and I told the woman that you work with that I would help out so they could go to the funeral.”
“So, you’d rather help them then me.”
“I thought that I was helping you. I thought that I was helping you give back to the church who has given so much to you. To my daughter and to my grandson.”
The anger fell off her face and she gave me a concerned look.
“Amy…what’s wrong? Really, what’s wrong?”
I looked up at her and I couldn’t stop the tears from building in my eyes as I spoke.
“I’m missing out on everything everyone else is doing. I feel like old mother Hubbard…”
I motioned to myself.
“I feel like and I look like old Mother Hubbard…”
Her voice softened as she spoke.
“Amy, it’s okay. All new mother’s feel overwhelmed and isolated.”
I shook my head as a tear rolled down my cheek.
“I’m not just a new mother. I’m a new mother in high school and that’s just so wrong.”
I thought back to what Grace said the other night when Ricky and I went over to see her.
“Maybe god is punishing me…and if he is I can’t take it.”
My mother’s voice was sharp when she spoke.
“Who said that? Someone said that god’s punishing you? That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Because I thought about it and maybe god is punishing you too…”
“You know what Amy I doubt that god punishes people nearly as much as people punish each other and themselves. John is not a punishment.”
I nodded.
“That’s what I said when Grace said that, but I don’t know. Maybe John’s a blessing and a curse.”
“John is not a curse. Grace Bowman said that?”
“She didn’t say curse, but she said punishment…what’s the difference? She said it when we went to her house the other night…and I can’t quit thinking about it.”
She sighed.
“Oh Amy…Grace just lost her father. She’s not thinking right. She didn’t mean it. She will apologize to you at some point. Don’t forget all the good Grace has done for you. Grace is a nice girl.”
I nodded.
“Come on, we better get inside.”
“Okay.”
She put an arm around me as we walked into the church nursery and I wiped my eyes. Maybe she’s right…even though things are difficult and I’m upset now, it won’t always be this way. I’m missing out on things now, but I have John…and I love my son…I might complain and be frustrated a lot, but I wouldn’t give John up for the world.
(Ricky POV)
I was walking past a black limo to get to the front of the church when the door opened into me. I caught the door and spoke.
“Oh…sorry Mrs. Bowman.”
She closed the limo door behind her. Her voice was soft when she spoke.
“It’s okay Ricky. Thanks for being here.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
She gave me a tight smile.
“I don’t think so. I’d like to get Grace out of the car, but I don’t think you or anyone else can do that for me.”
I smiled.
“I can do that for you. I will do that for you. If that’s all I can do here…I’ll do it.”
She gave me a warm smile.
“Thank you.”
She moved toward the steps and I took a deep breath before opening the limo door and making my way inside. I slid in next to Grace and rubbed my sweaty hands on my pants. I’m no good at the emotional stuff, but I owed Dr. Bowman…he was really there for me when my dad came back…I have to do this for him.
“I’m sorry about your dad…”
She didn’t say anything…didn’t even look at me so I continued.
“But I’m going to give you three minutes to get out of the car and then I’m going to have to get you out by whatever means necessary.”
She turned her tear stained face to glare at me before looking back out the window. I sat there for a minute and right when I was about to say something she spoke.
“I’m not getting out of the car…so why don’t you just get out of the car so we can get on with this whole stupid service so I can go home.”
“No…I’m not leaving you inside the car and I’m not leaving you when we get outside the car.”
She shook her head as she looked up at the roof of the car.
“I told you I’m not getting out of the car…”
I cut her off.
“Yeah you are. You are getting out of the car one way or the other.”
She looked at me.
“I don’t think so.”
I smirked.
“I know so.”
I saw her brow crease as she spoke in an angry tone.
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
“I will drag your ass out of this car if I have to because you are gonna go to whatever service your dad planned for himself. Whatever he planned is what he wanted. This service is his last request of you. You may have messed up and didn’t do other things he asked of you, but you are not messing up again.”
I took a deep breath before continuing.
“Because this time I’m here and I’m gonna make you do the right thing.”
She gave me a look of disbelief.
“Get out of the car Grace. Your mother wants you out of the car and I told her I’d get you out of the car.”
When she didn’t answer me I grabbed for her arm and she yanked it back before yelling at me.
“Don’t touch me.”
I turned my body in the seat and spoke.
“I will touch you if I have to touch you. I’d rather have you angry at me then feel guilty the rest of your life for not going to your fathers funeral.”
I sat back in my seat and shook my head. A minute later I felt a hand on my arm. I glanced up and Grace was looking at me. I watched her swallow hard before speaking.
“Okay…”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay?”
She nodded. I gave her a small smile, opened the car door, got out, looked at everyone waiting around, and held out my hand to her. She took it and I shut the door. She held onto my hand as I walked her up to her mom. Mrs. Bowman looked at me and mouthed “thank you.”
I smiled, nodded and walked over by Jack, George, and Ben. Oh jeez…something happened because Ben is supposed to be working…I sighed. I glanced up as the service started. I’m glad I was able to get Grace to come out…after everything her family did for Amy and me, so we could keep John…I’m glad I was finally able to do something for them…
*****
I let out a deep breath as I got into my car. It’s been a long day. I started my car and glanced at the clock. 8:45…I could call Adrian…she’d probably have sex with me…or I could call Amy and see if John’s still awake…maybe see him for a little while.
I took out my phone and pressed speed dial number 2. I waited as the phone rang. Three rings later a soft voice answered.
“Hello.”
“Hey Amy, its Ricky…I was wondering if John was still awake.”
“He actually just woke up from his nap about ten minutes ago.”
I leaned back in my seat and was quiet for a minute.
“Ricky, you still there?”
I cleared my throat.
“Yeah, I’m still here sorry. I was wondering if it would be okay if I stopped by for a while. I didn’t really get too much time with John today, and after the funeral and everything…I just…it would be nice to be around him. Also I know you wanted to go to the funeral…I can tell you about it if you want…”
My voice trailed off and I waited for her answer.
“That would actually be helpful. I have a bunch of homework. If you don’t mind hanging out here with John while I do it, I’d love to hear about the funeral.”
I smiled.
“Okay, I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
“Okay, bye.”
I hung up the phone and pulled out of the cemetery. I could have called Adrian, but I could live without the drama tonight…it’s been a long day and I’d rather spend time with John than anyone else…
Chapter 3
“Par For The Course”
(Amy POV)
I ran into the kitchen, over the toys, and to the table. I pushed the clothes off of my school books and started rummaging through one of my text books. Today is not a good morning. John slept a total of about one hour last night, I stayed up practically all night finishing up a paper, and now I can’t find it, I’m still in my pajamas and I’m running late.
I let out a frustrated sigh and called out to my mom.
“Mom…I can’t find my paper…my history paper. I put it inside my book…ugh.”
I was flipping through the second book when the door in the kitchen opened and crashed into John’s bouncy seat. I turned around and looked up in time to see Ricky walk through the door. I braced my hands against the counter and frowned.
“What?”
He raised an eyebrow and walked toward me.
“What? Good morning.”
He leaned against the counter opposite me.
“I thought I’d come by to see if I could take John to the nursery for you this morning.”
“You don’t have a car seat.”
He sighed.
“I do have a car seat…the same one you have in your mom’s car.”
“Still…”
I shook my head and spoke in a tired voice.
“You don’t know how to drop him off. You have to go in with him, and hold him, and walk him around the place until he’s used to it. And then you have to put him in the bed. You don’t know which bed.”
He gave me a patient look, but I could tell he was upset. I don’t know why I keep doing this…Ricky has really come through for me lately and it would be nice to not have to worry about taking John to the nursery this morning since I’m running late.
“I bet someone could tell me…come on. I’ll take him and you can take your time getting ready for school.”
I could see how bad he wanted to take John and I felt horrible for making him beg. I felt tears gather in my eyes as I looked away from him for a minute to pull myself together. I don’t know what is wrong with me lately. I thought the hormones were bad when I was pregnant…well they don’t seem to have gotten any better.
When I looked back over at Ricky he was frowning. I nodded.
“You can take John. I’m…I’m sorry I was giving you a hard time. I just…”
My voice trailed off and he tilted his head to the side and gave me a once over. His voice was soft when he spoke.
“Rough night?”
I nodded.
“Kind of…John didn’t sleep well. He only got about an hour of sleep last night and I can’t find my history paper, which I stayed up practically all night writing.”
He was quiet for a minute before speaking.
“Why didn’t you call me?”
I rolled my eyes and spoke in a frustrated voice as I gestured with my hands.
“Ricky, I can’t call you every time John cries or gets fussie or I can’t get him to sleep. That’s ridiculous. I need to do this myself. I need to be able to take care of our son. I can’t just call you when things get hard.”
He pursed his lips, placed his hands on the counter, and leaned toward me. I could see his eyes soften as he spoke in a low voice.
“Amy…I’m not saying call me every time John cries, but I’m here. You know…I come around here everyday or I try to so I can spend time with John. If you need me to take him to the nursery…or pick him up or just hang out here with him so you can do what you need to do then I’m okay with that.”
He gave me a small shrug.
“He’s my son…”
He trailed off and I watched him scratch the back of his neck in embarrassment. Ricky is not a speech giver and he certainly isn’t one for emotional talks. This is probably the most he’s said in one sentence since we met. I gave him a small smile and sighed.
“I’m sorry that I always give you a hard time. I know you only want to be here for him.”
“So, we’re good?”
I laughed.
“Yeah, we’re good.”
He nodded and spoke in a playful voice.
“Good, now where’s my son?”
Before I could say anything my mom came into the kitchen holding John. She grinned at Ricky.
“Good morning Ricky.”
She moved John’s blanket back and turned him to face Ricky. I watched his face light up as he looked at John and my mom spoke to him again.
“Hey John, say hi to Ricky…here’s your daddy.”
“Hey there little fella…good morning.”
I cleared my throat to get my mom’s attention.
“Ricky’s going to take John to the nursery this morning.”
She looked surprised as she looked between us.
“Really?”
I nodded. She looked at Ricky, smiled, and handed John to him. He took him gently and then grabbed John’s bag off the counter. My mom patted him on the shoulder and he glanced at me with a smile on his face.
I walked over and gave John a kiss on the forehead before moving back.
“Be careful.”
He shook his head and grinned.
“He’ll be fine. I’ll see you at school and I’ll give you a minute by minute report, promise.”
“Bye.”
He nodded before leaving with John in tow. I spent the next fifteen minutes talking to my mom and getting my things together for school. I made my way into my room and plopped down on my bed. Ugh…so let’s see what’s going on today…my dad’s taking me to school because my mom had an important meeting and then a doctors appointment.
Everyone’s going to be at Dr. Bowman’s funeral today…just another thing I have to miss out on. I closed my eyes. I’ll just lay here for a second…
(George POV)
I glanced down at my watch and sighed. What is taking Amy so long…I walked next door and open the kitchen door. I saw Anne in the kitchen.
“Hey, where’s Amy?”
She shrugged.
“I guess she’s getting ready.”
I shook my head before giving Anne a once over.
“How you feelin’?”
She sighed.
“Pregnant. I still can’t believe I’m having a baby.”
She shook her head.
“I can’t believe it. You know George, we still haven’t filed for divorce.”
I shrugged and tried to appear unaffected by the word divorce.
“Gimmie the papers, I’d be happy to sign…You getting married again?”
“I guess.”
Huh…maybe he doesn’t want to marry her or better yet maybe she doesn’t want to marry him.
“You guess…your new boyfriend doesn’t want to get married?”
She shrugged and looked down.
“Yeah he wants to get married, but it’s because I’m having a baby and it’s not a good feeling. I doubt we’d even be talking about this if it wasn’t for what happened, but it happened so…”
“So…”
She tilted her head and gave me a look.
“So, we need to get the divorce going.”
I really don’t want to get a divorce…
“We’re we leave it?”
“We left it with my attorney was going to send you the papers as soon as I looked at them, but I haven’t had a chance to look at them since the baby was born. Basically I asked for the house because I figured I was going to be taking care of Amy, Ashley and the baby.”
She took a deep breath before continuing.
“I asked for everything in the house and uh my car.”
I made a face.
“What else?”
She seemed a little shocked.
“Are you okay with that?”
I shrugged. I wasn’t okay with this whole thing, but it’s not like I could tell her that at this point.
“I got my own place and it’s kinda like we bought a second home. We’ve had this place for fifteen years so the payments are practically nothing and frankly I figured I owed you the house. You gave me fifteen years of your life, two beautiful children…and I chose to go outside of the marriage for sex…so if that’s the penalty…I’ll live with it.”
She was quiet for a minute before she spoke.
“Okay…thanks.”
I glanced around and frowned.
“Where’s Amy?”
Anne shrugged.
“I’ll go see if I can find her.”
I nodded and watched her walk off. I should have never cheated on Anne…now she’s having a baby and planning on marrying some guy she just met…I miss my wife…I miss our family…
(Adrian POV)
I walked through the hallway disgusted with the kids in our school. I can’t believe people are betting on whether or not Grace is going to her father’s funeral. How sick can people get? I glanced up and saw Jack ahead of me in the hallway. I called our and ran to catch up with him.
“Jack…Jack hey! Hey, how are you?”
He turned and his face was drawn in sadness.
“Not good. I was over there this morning…She hates me…and now I hate me.”
I titled my head to the side and swallowed hard. I really wish there was something I could do to make him feel better…I can’t imagine what they’re going through right now. I watched as the look on his face changed from pain to anger as he glared at me before speaking.
“And you know what…I hate you too. You started all this.”
I frowned and placed a hand over my chest. How could he think that?
“I didn’t do anything.”
“Don’t act so innocent.”
His voice got louder as he pointed at me.
“If you and I hadn’t of hooked up the first of the school year I wouldn’t have been pursuing every girl that would have sex with me the rest of the year.”
Anger surged inside me as I got into his face. My voice was harsh when I spoke.
“I think you were the one who called me.”
“So, you don’t know how to say no?”
His question was like a slap in the face. When I didn’t say anything he moved away from me and shook his head.
“You don’t do you? You’re okay having sex with any guy who’ll have sex.”
I reached up and slapped Jack across the face. I couldn’t help myself. Who the hell does he think he is? I heard a shout and looked up to see Ben running over to us.
“Whoa, whoa, hey you two, what’s going on?”
Ben placed a hand on Jack’s arm and mine. Jack gave me an angry glare, looked at Ben and then walked away. Ben turned to me, placed a hand on my arm, and gave me a concerned look.
“Are you alright?”
Since Grace’s dad died and everyone has started blaming me for what’s going on, no one has once asked me if I was alright…until now…I let all the pain I was feeling out as I spoke to Ben.
“No I’m not alright. Some how I killed Grace’s dad. It’s all my fault!”
I felt my eyes water as and there was a quaver in my voice when I spoke. He gave me a confused look.
“Because I like sex I’m responsible for Dr. Bowman dying in a plane crash.”
He made a face.
“That’s ridiculous.”
I nodded. He’s the first sane person I’ve talked to all morning.
“It is! Isn’t it?”
“Yes, of course it is. It was an accident…it had nothing to do with anything…other then mechanical failure.”
I stood there, tears in my eyes and Ben sighed. He leaned in and pulled me into a hug. After a second I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. It felt nice having someone here to comfort me for a change. Everyone always thinks I’m so strong and so independent…
Which I guess is true, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t need a shoulder to lean on every once in a while. It doesn’t mean that I don’t need to feel special…or loved…or even just like someone cares…He spoke softly as he held onto me.
“It’s not your fault…it’s not anyone’s fault.”
I took a calming breath and opened my eyes. They widened as I saw Amy walking down the hallway. She looks pissed…hmm I guess that could be because her boyfriend is hugging me…oh well people can be friends…a hug doesn’t mean anything…
Ben’s voice brought me out of my thoughts right as Amy folded her arms across her chest and stood directly behind us.
“You feeling better?”
Before I could say anything Amy cut me off.
“Why do you ask?”
I felt Ben tense, I moved my hands and he pulled away from me before turning around to face Amy. He glanced at me and then at Amy before speaking.
“Uh…Adrian…she was just having a hard time and I was comforting her. You know…as a friend.”
Normally this is where I’d get on Amy’s case or say something completely inappropriate to make her mad, but I just wasn’t in the mood to fight. There’s been enough fighting for one day. I cleared my throat and looked at Ben.
“Thanks Ben, bye Amy.”
I turned around and walked away. I needed to distract myself…maybe class would help…
(Ben POV)
Wonderful, this conversation really does not bode well for me. She looks angry, but the thing is after everything we’ve been through, she should really trust me more. I love her…I’m not going anywhere and she should know that. I’m tired of always having to defend myself.
Before I could even get a word out she spoke.
“If you’re thinking that you’re going to sleep with her because I won’t sleep with you, you’ve got another thought coming Ben Boykewich.”
I furrowed my brows. She always thinks the worst of me.
“I’m not thinking about sleeping with anyone.”
She ran a hand through her hair and I shook my head.
“Still, you better not be flirting with Adrian because you’re not getting sex from me.”
It’s like a broken record.
“I’m not flirting with anyone Amy jeez…you’re starting to get a little…insecure.”
She gave me a sarcastic smile.
“No I’m not.”
“I love you…I really love you, and we’re going to be together for the rest of our lives. So, whenever we have sex, whether it’s next year, or five years from now, or ten years from now…whenever…I’ll be fine.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or you?”
She had a point there…She shook her head and lowered her voice.
“All I can tell you is it’s not going to be this year.”
She walked away and I couldn’t help it I called out to her.
“By this year do you mean school year or calendar year?”
She ignored me and continued down the hall. Great…I’m going to be a virgin for the rest of my life.
(Ricky POV)
I was walking down the hallway when I saw Amy. I made my way over to her and caught the tail end of her conversation.
“People are going to see if Grace pulls herself together?”
I moved over to stand next to her and glanced between the three girls. Amy was glaring at Madison and Lauren.
“What’s…goin on?”
When Amy turned to me I could see she was angry. Great…what did I do now? To my surprise her anger wasn’t directed at me.
“Apparently the entire school wants to fine out if Grace is going to the funeral or not.”
I turned to Lauren and Madison and glared. I gestured as I spoke in a hard voice.
“Did you start some rumor that Grace isn’t going to the funeral?”
They looked at each other, then me and Amy and walked away quickly. I shook my head. People really piss me off…they shouldn’t be doing that…Grace is going through enough without having people make a spectacle out of what’s going on. I turned toward Amy and she sighed, shaking her head at her friends.
“How’d it go at the nursery? How’d John do?”
Finally something good that I can talk about.
“It went good, John’s fine. That’s a nice place, the church nursery.”
She shrugged.
“Yeah, well you don’t have to spend too much time there.”
“It’s nicer than a butcher shop.”
She folded her arms across her chest and snapped at me.
“What are you complaining?”
I shook my head. I really thought we were getting somewhere this morning…apparently I was wrong.
“No, I’m not complaining. I like working at the Butcher shop. I was just saying that the nursery’s nice…that’s all.”
She must have heard the attitude in my voice because she uncrossed her arms and nodded.
“I deserved that. I’m sorry…”
She let out a light laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. Her voice lowered as she spoke.
“I feel like all I do anymore is apologize. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
I shrugged. When I left the house this morning she seemed to be doing okay. I wonder what happened between then and now.
“Why are you in such a bad mood anyway?”
“I’m exhausted and I’m angry with Ben.”
I had to hold in a laugh. Ben’s really batting a solid zero lately.
“I know you’re exhausted, that’s why I came by to help you out this morning. I’d be happy to take John every morning.”
She mad a face.
“I don’t want you to take him every morning…”
I opened my mouth, but she cut me off.
“But maybe we can work something out and you can take him every other day or something.”
I smiled.
“Really?”
“Yeah…I think it’s time I let you be involved a little more…if you want…after all…he is your son.”
My smiled widened.
“I do want to…and thanks Amy…”
She nodded and motioned to the door at the end of the hallway.
“I should get to class.”
I nodded.
“Listen I might not be able to stop by tonight, I’m going to the funeral, but if it’s not too late I’ll try.”
The smile fell from her face and she nodded.
“See ya Ricky.”
I opened my mouth, but she was practically down the hallway before I could get anything out. I sighed, turned around, and almost ran into Adrian.
“Hey.”
She smiled.
“Hey yourself.”
She grinned at me, held her hands behind her, and spoke in a sweet voice.
“So, are we going to the funeral together? I’ve never been to one.”
Ah, so that’s what she wanted. I don’t know why she can’t just accept what I’m willing to give her…she always wants more.
I gave her a tired look.
“I’ve never been to one either.”
“So…”
She gave me a hopeful look and I titled my head to the side as I spoke.
“So, I don’t know Adrian. Maybe it’s not appropriate. Maybe we’d just look like we’re on a date or something.”
She glared at me and I watched as her body shifted into a defensive position.
“Or like we’re a couple or something?”
“…Yea…”
She crossed her arms over her chest and her voice came out harsh.
“We’re not enough of a couple to go to a funeral together?”
I shook my head.
“No, I don’t think so.”
She pursed her lips together, nodded her head, and I didn’t even see the hand coming until it was on my face. Dammit. My head moved to the side with the force and when I looked back at her I let out a laugh. If she thinks she’s going to make me mad…she’s wrong.
“What was that for?”
She shrugged.
“I just feel like slapping people today.”
I turned my head slightly when I saw Ben walk up next to me. He smiled at Adrian, she looked at him and slapped him. He gave her a startled look and spoke in a hurt voice.
“What was that for?”
She glared at him, before walking away.
“The hug.”
I turned to face Ben. What is Ben doing hugging Adrian? Hmm maybe that’s why Amy’s pissed at him…a hug is never just a hug when it comes to Adrian. My jaw clenched as I spoke.
“What hug?”
He still had that puppy dog look on his face as he spoke.
“She was upset, I hugged her.”
I shook my head.
“Just, don’t have sex with her. If you have sex with Adrian someone really will die because I wouldn’t like that…at all.”
He paled and I walked away leaving him there to think about that. It’s not that I love Adrian…I know she sleeps with guys who aren’t me and I don’t care, but Ben is dating Amy…and Amy is the mother of my son. I don’t want to see her get hurt. I’ve already hurt her enough.
Plus if she’s busy crying over Ben she can’t be there for John, and no matter who she’s with or who I’m having sex with…John comes first. I nodded to myself. Yup…that’s why I want to hit Ben right now…because of John…not because of Amy…the only problem was…I wasn’t one hundred percent sure that was true…
(Ben POV)
My dad walked with me into the butcher shop. When we got behind the counter Bunny looked up and smiled at my dad.
“El pardon, what’s up?”
He smiled at her.
“Just thought I’d come in and help out this afternoon…for old time’s sake.”
That perked my hearing up.
“What? You didn’t say anything about that on the ride over.”
He looked at me and nodded.
“Yeah, I figured I’d stay for a while.”
I let out a huff. After the day I’ve had I’m really not in the mood to spend the afternoon with my dad…plus he’s probably only doing this because he thinks I can’t handle things without Ricky.
“Dad, I can do this.”
Bunny cut in.
“I got everything for the regulars already cut and packaged. It’s right here in the case Ben, by name and order. And the basket orders have slowed down since the holidays so I got them out early and Danny’s in the back if you need him.”
I shook my head.
“So you don’t think I can do the job either?”
Why am I working here then? When neither of them answered I turned to look at my dad. I spoke to him with frustration in my voice.
“Dad, you don’t have to stay here. You should go to the funeral.”
He gave me a disappointed look.
“I don’t want to go to the funeral. I never go to funerals. You know that.”
I was getting tired of them ganging up on me so I snapped.
“You never work at the butcher shop either, I know that.”
Bunny spoke up.
“Careful with the ‘tude dude you don’t want to get fired.”
She chuckled and threw my apron to me.
“Here get your apron on. Let’s get going, I wanna get out of here.”
“Yes ma’am…on my way.”
As I walked away I heard my dad talking to Bunny.
“He thinks he’s a grown man and it’s gotten worse since the baby got here.”
“Yeah I heard him talkin’ to Ricky, but Ricky might not be the best resource for information on waiting if you know what I mean.”
Wonderful…why can’t anyone mind there own business. I walked back over to them and my dad looked at me. Bunny's tone changed and she smiled.
“Okay, good seeing you Leo, thanks I’ll be back to lock up.”
She walked around us and headed out. I glanced around the shop and looked at my dad.
“The rush is over…the mom’s stop by on their way home with the kids…there’s not much to do…I’ll be fine.”
He turned and gave me a stern look.
“I’m sure you will be. I just wanted to spend some time with you. I mean we haven’t had time to talk about Amy or the baby or anything lately.”
I shrugged.
“There’s not much to talk about.”
He frowned.
“What do you mean by that?”
I rolled my eyes. I know what he’s fishing for.
“We’re not doing anything.”
“Well you’re fifteen, you’re too young to be doing anything.”
“Tell that to all the fifteen year olds having sex.”
His voice grew louder and I could see he was getting mad.
“That’s their parents job. It’s my job to tell you that you’re too young to have sex and you of all people should know that. Your girlfriend just had a baby, a baby she’s not prepared to have, a baby that she’s struggling to take care of.”
I shrugged.
“She’s had sex, I haven’t.”
He made a face.
“It’s not some kind of contest. Who can get there first or who has or who hasn’t…”
I cut him off.
“Yes it is. The older I get the more time I spend thinking about it. I can’t help it. I mean…you’ve seen Amy.”
“I have seen Amy. She’s a very pretty girl, but come on Ben…haven’t you learned anything from everything she’s been through?”
“Yes, I’ve learned to be careful…and I hope you’re being careful too and I don’t just mean with sex.”
I watched him cross his arms over his chest and he glared at me.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t know…do you really know this woman? I mean do you really know who Betty is? I mean she could just be another woman who’s after your money.”
“She could be, but I don’t think so and mind your own business. And don’t tell me to mind my business because your business is my business until you’re on your own Mr.”
He wanted to yell…fine I can yell too.
“And how can I ever be on my own? It’s always gonna be your butcher shop, and your sausage company and your house…and your everything, but you know what it’s my sex life.”
I took off my apron, balled it up and threw it on the floor in the corner.
“I quit.”
I turned around and walked away from my father for the first time in my life. He called out to me.
“How you gonna get home?”
“I’ll take the bus.”
“You got bus fair?”
“No.”
“It’s a long way to walk…on the other hand maybe a long walk will do you good. Bye!”
I glared at him.
“Bye.”
And I left. I got outside and shook my head. Great job Ben…Amy’s mad at me…Adrian’s mad at me, Ricky hates me more than usual, and I just got into a huge fight with my dad and quit my job. Lovely…something else Amy and I can fight about later…I sighed. This is getting to be too much…
(Amy POV)
My dad and Ashley pulled away from the curb after dropping me off. I love my dad and Ashley, but sometimes they really make me angry. Ashley was one of the main reasons I kept John…she promised she’d help me with John and now all she does is get angry that I complain about things.
She doesn’t get it…no one does. I love John, and I’m glad I kept him, but it’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be and I know it’s my fault and John’s my responsibility, but it wouldn’t kill them to try and see where I’m coming from…how I’m feeling.
I glanced up and saw my mom pull into the space in front of me. I smiled. Maybe she decided to cover for me so I could go to the funeral. She got out of the car and smiled as she walked toward me.
“Are you here so I can go to the funeral?”
“No, I’m here so the woman you work with can go to the funeral.”
I sighed.
“Can’t I just go to the part that’s at the church not the gravesite service.”
A look of disappointment covered her face.
“Amy, I’m here to be with you, to help out at the nursery because you have to work.”
“But I don’t have to work if you’re here…please mom?”
Just give me a little time off…please…
“Amy…”
“Everyone is going…everyone. Did you see how full the other parking lot is?”
“Yes I did. Dr. Bowman has been a doctor in this community for twenty years and he was a deacon at the church and I told the woman that you work with that I would help out so they could go to the funeral.”
“So, you’d rather help them then me.”
“I thought that I was helping you. I thought that I was helping you give back to the church who has given so much to you. To my daughter and to my grandson.”
The anger fell off her face and she gave me a concerned look.
“Amy…what’s wrong? Really, what’s wrong?”
I looked up at her and I couldn’t stop the tears from building in my eyes as I spoke.
“I’m missing out on everything everyone else is doing. I feel like old mother Hubbard…”
I motioned to myself.
“I feel like and I look like old Mother Hubbard…”
Her voice softened as she spoke.
“Amy, it’s okay. All new mother’s feel overwhelmed and isolated.”
I shook my head as a tear rolled down my cheek.
“I’m not just a new mother. I’m a new mother in high school and that’s just so wrong.”
I thought back to what Grace said the other night when Ricky and I went over to see her.
“Maybe god is punishing me…and if he is I can’t take it.”
My mother’s voice was sharp when she spoke.
“Who said that? Someone said that god’s punishing you? That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Because I thought about it and maybe god is punishing you too…”
“You know what Amy I doubt that god punishes people nearly as much as people punish each other and themselves. John is not a punishment.”
I nodded.
“That’s what I said when Grace said that, but I don’t know. Maybe John’s a blessing and a curse.”
“John is not a curse. Grace Bowman said that?”
“She didn’t say curse, but she said punishment…what’s the difference? She said it when we went to her house the other night…and I can’t quit thinking about it.”
She sighed.
“Oh Amy…Grace just lost her father. She’s not thinking right. She didn’t mean it. She will apologize to you at some point. Don’t forget all the good Grace has done for you. Grace is a nice girl.”
I nodded.
“Come on, we better get inside.”
“Okay.”
She put an arm around me as we walked into the church nursery and I wiped my eyes. Maybe she’s right…even though things are difficult and I’m upset now, it won’t always be this way. I’m missing out on things now, but I have John…and I love my son…I might complain and be frustrated a lot, but I wouldn’t give John up for the world.
(Ricky POV)
I was walking past a black limo to get to the front of the church when the door opened into me. I caught the door and spoke.
“Oh…sorry Mrs. Bowman.”
She closed the limo door behind her. Her voice was soft when she spoke.
“It’s okay Ricky. Thanks for being here.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
She gave me a tight smile.
“I don’t think so. I’d like to get Grace out of the car, but I don’t think you or anyone else can do that for me.”
I smiled.
“I can do that for you. I will do that for you. If that’s all I can do here…I’ll do it.”
She gave me a warm smile.
“Thank you.”
She moved toward the steps and I took a deep breath before opening the limo door and making my way inside. I slid in next to Grace and rubbed my sweaty hands on my pants. I’m no good at the emotional stuff, but I owed Dr. Bowman…he was really there for me when my dad came back…I have to do this for him.
“I’m sorry about your dad…”
She didn’t say anything…didn’t even look at me so I continued.
“But I’m going to give you three minutes to get out of the car and then I’m going to have to get you out by whatever means necessary.”
She turned her tear stained face to glare at me before looking back out the window. I sat there for a minute and right when I was about to say something she spoke.
“I’m not getting out of the car…so why don’t you just get out of the car so we can get on with this whole stupid service so I can go home.”
“No…I’m not leaving you inside the car and I’m not leaving you when we get outside the car.”
She shook her head as she looked up at the roof of the car.
“I told you I’m not getting out of the car…”
I cut her off.
“Yeah you are. You are getting out of the car one way or the other.”
She looked at me.
“I don’t think so.”
I smirked.
“I know so.”
I saw her brow crease as she spoke in an angry tone.
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
“I will drag your ass out of this car if I have to because you are gonna go to whatever service your dad planned for himself. Whatever he planned is what he wanted. This service is his last request of you. You may have messed up and didn’t do other things he asked of you, but you are not messing up again.”
I took a deep breath before continuing.
“Because this time I’m here and I’m gonna make you do the right thing.”
She gave me a look of disbelief.
“Get out of the car Grace. Your mother wants you out of the car and I told her I’d get you out of the car.”
When she didn’t answer me I grabbed for her arm and she yanked it back before yelling at me.
“Don’t touch me.”
I turned my body in the seat and spoke.
“I will touch you if I have to touch you. I’d rather have you angry at me then feel guilty the rest of your life for not going to your fathers funeral.”
I sat back in my seat and shook my head. A minute later I felt a hand on my arm. I glanced up and Grace was looking at me. I watched her swallow hard before speaking.
“Okay…”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay?”
She nodded. I gave her a small smile, opened the car door, got out, looked at everyone waiting around, and held out my hand to her. She took it and I shut the door. She held onto my hand as I walked her up to her mom. Mrs. Bowman looked at me and mouthed “thank you.”
I smiled, nodded and walked over by Jack, George, and Ben. Oh jeez…something happened because Ben is supposed to be working…I sighed. I glanced up as the service started. I’m glad I was able to get Grace to come out…after everything her family did for Amy and me, so we could keep John…I’m glad I was finally able to do something for them…
*****
I let out a deep breath as I got into my car. It’s been a long day. I started my car and glanced at the clock. 8:45…I could call Adrian…she’d probably have sex with me…or I could call Amy and see if John’s still awake…maybe see him for a little while.
I took out my phone and pressed speed dial number 2. I waited as the phone rang. Three rings later a soft voice answered.
“Hello.”
“Hey Amy, its Ricky…I was wondering if John was still awake.”
“He actually just woke up from his nap about ten minutes ago.”
I leaned back in my seat and was quiet for a minute.
“Ricky, you still there?”
I cleared my throat.
“Yeah, I’m still here sorry. I was wondering if it would be okay if I stopped by for a while. I didn’t really get too much time with John today, and after the funeral and everything…I just…it would be nice to be around him. Also I know you wanted to go to the funeral…I can tell you about it if you want…”
My voice trailed off and I waited for her answer.
“That would actually be helpful. I have a bunch of homework. If you don’t mind hanging out here with John while I do it, I’d love to hear about the funeral.”
I smiled.
“Okay, I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
“Okay, bye.”
I hung up the phone and pulled out of the cemetery. I could have called Adrian, but I could live without the drama tonight…it’s been a long day and I’d rather spend time with John than anyone else…
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