The Great Turkey Caper

Title: The Great Turkey Caper
Rating: PG
Pairing: Clark/Chloe Oliver/Lois
Spoilers: This is set in the ‘Three Minutes’ Universe so it’s probably a good idea to read that story, but it’s not necessary.
Disclaimer: I own nothing because if I did Chloe would have had a fling with Oliver and then Clark would have seen the error of his ways and fought for her! :-)
Authors Note: Okay since I’ve been in a Supernatural overload…I’ve felt so incredibly horrible that I haven’t added any new Chlark fics to my site so I wrote this Thanksgiving inspired fic for you guys! See how nice I am??? *shrugs* Nah I’m not that nice I just feel guilty LoL and since it’s the day of giving…I give you…umm…this story! :-) Enjoy!



A Caper: a prank or trick; harebrained escapade. (Slang) A criminal or illegal act, as a burglary or robbery

Smallville 2011

Thanksgiving Day

The table was set, the aroma of stuffing and roast permeated the Kent Farm, Oliver and Lois would be there any minute, and Clark was pretty sure Chloe was going to have a heart attack. He reached a hand out to touch her arm and she slapped it away.

“Clark Kent you better find your son right now before I find him.”

Clark winced. Whenever Jonathan did something that was…unconventional, he was conveniently Clark’s son. If his four-year-old son knew what was good for him he’d stay hidden until he calmed Chloe down.

“Chlo…”

She waved him off and shook her head.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare ‘Chlo’ me Clark Kent!”

The front door opened and Lois made her way into the house followed by Oliver.

“Hello…anyone home? Chlo…Smallville…”

Clark sighed. Lois and Oliver made their way into the kitchen and when she saw her cousins face, Lois frowned.

“What’s wrong cuz?”

Chloe irately pointed to the open oven. Oliver raised an eyebrow and there was amusement coloring his voice.

“It’s an oven…”

Chloe turned her glare on Oliver and he swallowed hard. Clark frowned at Oliver and as he stood behind Chloe he shook his head and mouthed ‘Don’t make her angrier.’ Lois moved over and glanced in the oven.

“It’s empty.”

Chloe jabbed a finger towards the oven and nodded.

“I know it’s empty...”

Oliver and Lois looked at each other in confusion before looking back at us. I gave them a tight smile and Lois opened her mouth a few times before finally speaking.

“Okay…what’s the deal with the empty oven?”

Chloe nodded and pointed to Clark.

“His son stole the turkey.”

Clark furrowed his brows.

“Now Chloe…we don’t actually know he took the turkey…and just to put it out there I didn’t make him on my own.”

If looks could kill Clark would probably have several shards of kryptonite shoved in places he didn’t want them. He let out a nervous chuckle as she advance on him.

“No? Okay…so when I opened the stove to baste the turkey a little bit more, turned around to grab the baster thing…felt a gush of wind…turned back around and what…the turkey just vanished? Clark I spent hours making that turkey for our guests…hours….find your son and get my damn turkey back!”

Clark swallowed hard…and nodded.

“I’m sure he has a good reason Chlo…you know he hates when you’re mad at him.”

Chloe rolled her eyes.

“Don’t try and make me feel bad for being angry…Clark he stole the turkey right from the oven…people are going to be here soon. What are we going to feed them? Pie and stuffing?”

Clark sighed and Oliver was desperately trying not to laugh. He looked towards Clark and cleared his throat.

“Why don’t I help you find that godson of mine while Chloe and Lois try to salvage the rest of dinner…?”

Relief filled Clark’s face as he nodded. Leave it to Oliver to diffuse the tension. Close to five years of being married and Clark still said all the wrong things. He was getting better though, Chloe no longer referred to him as a big dumb alien, which he supposed was progress.

Oliver motioned to the kitchen door.

“I’m gonna go out back check for him there.”

Clark nodded.

“I’ll be there in a second.”

Lois patted Chloe’s back softly.

“I’ll go grab some more serving plates.”

Chloe stood by the stove, looking dejectedly at the empty oven. Every year since her and Clark had been together; Martha had come home for the holidays and cooked a feast. Yeah, Chloe helped, but the holidays were Martha’s thing.

This year Martha was stuck in Washington on official senate business and so Chloe had taken hold of the reigns for Thanksgiving Day Dinner. She had been so excited; her first dinner making everything for her family. Martha had left her all the recipes along with instructions.

Everything had been going perfect until about 20 minutes ago when the turkey she’d spent all day working had vanished out of their oven. She knew her four-year-old son was responsible, but she had no clue why. What on earth could a four-year-old want with a turkey?

Clark placed his hands on Chloe’s shoulders and he felt her let out a heavy sigh and lean against him. He kissed the side of her head and she turned in his arms. There was a pout on her face and Clark gave her half a smile.

“I just wanted everything to be perfect. This is the first Thanksgiving where your mom actually left me in charge and I ruined it. How am I going to live up to Martha Kent’s legendary Thanksgiving Day dinners without a turkey?”

Clark let out a soft chuckle.

“Legendary huh? I don’t think Mom’s thanksgivings are legendary…besides with or without a turkey it will be perfect…you know I can always run out and get another one real quick. We can have it defrosted and cooked in not time…see I’m good for something…”

He trailed off and she gave him a small grin and slapped his chest playfully.

“You’re good for more than just that Mr. Kent.”

Clark waggled his eyebrows and Chloe laughed before he leaned down, cupped her face, and captured her lips with his. Chloe wrapped her arms around him and deepened the kiss. Not even a minute later they heard a loud groan.

“Jeez…you too really don’t do anything else do you?”

Clark pulled back from Chloe slowly and rolled his eyes before turning to face Lois.

“I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t kiss my wife in my own house.”

Lois smirked at Clark and ‘hmphed’ him as she moved over to the stove and started handing platters to Chloe.

“Well technically you can do whatever you want in your house except for the fact that I’m pretty sure your house is in Metropolis. The farm is your Mom’s buddy and therefore neutral territory…so get the grabby hands away from my cousin and go help my husband find your son.”
Clark made a face at Lois before heading out the kitchen door to help Oliver find Jonathan. Lois shook her head and looked back to Chloe.

“I swear that husband of yours…what…what’s that look for?”

Chloe grinned at Lois and shrugged.

“Nothing…I just…I still can’t believe we’re both married adults with kids…”

Lois snorted.

“Speak for yourself. Oliver and I might be married, but we aren’t planning on making any mini-adults anytime soon. We’re still enjoying the blissful honeymoon period.”

Chloe laughed at the mischief in Lois’ eyes. She was happy her cousin had married Oliver. He was good for Lois. They brought out the best in each other and he made her cousin happy which was all that really mattered.

“Still…we got lucky…we have two amazing guys…”

Lois’ face softened and she nodded.

“Yeah…they are pretty great.”

Chloe chuckled and there was a knock on the front door. Lois looked over and saw Bart, Victor, and A.C. outside the screen door.

“Looks like the party’s about to start. I’ll get that.”

Chloe nodded her thanks as she moved all the food, sans turkey, to the table. She sighed…It’s definitely going to be an interesting day…

Clark and Oliver had looked all over for Jonathan, but nothing. Clark was starting to get worried. He frowned.

“I’m getting worried…Listen I’m gonna go check in the house. If I don’t find him there I’m gonna take a zip around Smallville. Can you keep looking around here?”

“Absolutely…go I can hold down the fort.”

“Thanks Oliver.”

Clark sped off and Oliver made his way into the barn. He glanced around, didn’t see anything, so he turned to go and that’s when he heard it. Soft sniffles coming from the loft. Oliver slowly made his way up the stairs and when his foot stepped on a particularly creaky board, Jonathan’s head shot up.

He stopped in his tracks, smiled, and waved.

“Hey bud…”

He sniffled once more and wiped his face.

“Uncle Ollie?”

Olive nodded.

“Can I come up?”

Jonathan nodded his little head as he sat on his dad’s old couch. Oliver came up and sat down next to him. It was quiet for a couple of minutes while Jonathan dried his tears and calmed down.

“Whatcha doing up here all by yourself?”

“Hiding?”

Oliver laughed.

“Hiding huh? From who?”

“Mommy…she’s angry with me.”

Oliver nodded.

“Well…do you know why your mom is angry?”

Jonathan looked up at Oliver, eyes wide, a look of innocence on his face.

“Cause I stole her turkey?”

“Yeah, that’s probably why…wanna tell me why you took it?”

He shrugged.

“Because we had a lot of other food and some people don’t have any.”

Oliver contemplated the statement and nodded.

“That’s very true…so…what’d you do with it?”

“With what?”

“The turkey?”

Jonathan’s eyes lit up.

“Oh…I can show you…wanna see?”

Oliver bit his lip and nodded.

“Sure.”

Jonathan jumped off the couch, grabbed Oliver’s hand and dragged him around to the other side of the barn. He pointed to one of the stalls for the horses that was empty and Oliver raised his eyebrow. Jonathan motioned for him to look inside.

Oliver walked forward, pushed at the door, shook his head and sighed at the sight. Lying in the hay was a medium sized dog with four small puppies around her. And in the middle of all of them was what had to be Chloe’s 25 pound turkey, being happily gnawed on.

Oliver nodded trying hard not to burst into laughter.

“So…you found a dog huh?”

Jonathan grinned and nodded. Oliver took out his phone and snapped a picture of the scene before closing the stall door and making his way back over to Jonathan.

“Your parents are kinda worried about you kid…what do you say we head back in the house?”

Jonathan sighed, but nodded. They walked out of the barn and back to the house. When Oliver opened the door the team was sitting quietly at the table with worried looks on their faces as Chloe paced back and forth in the kitchen.

He cleared his throat and all heads turned in his direction. He nudged Jonathan forward slightly and smiled.

“Look who I found hiding out in the barn.”

Chloe ran to Jonathan and lifted him into her arms. Her voice was soft but firm.

“Jonathan Kent, don’t you ever scare me like that again. You know you’re not supposed to hide from us ever! We were worried.”

He put his head down and rubbed his neck. Just like his father.

“Sorry mommy…I thought you were mad at me for taking your turkey so I hid in the loft.”

Bart chuckled.

“You stole the turkey little man?”

Jonathan looked at Bart and blushed.

“Maybe…”

Clark appeared in the room a second later and frowned at Jonathan.

“Son…”

Jonathan nodded.

“I know daddy…I’m sorry for hiding…I just didn’t want mommy to yell at me…I won’t do it again…don’t be mad…”

Clark opened his mouth and then looked at Chloe. Jonathan was giving them his puppy eyes. Sometimes Clark really wished he’d never taught him those eyes. He sighed.

“I’m not mad, but you owe your mother an apology.”

He looked at Chloe and his voice was soft.

“I’m sorry I took your turkey mommy.”

Oliver, Bart, Victor, and A.C. chuckled as Lois grinned. Chloe shook her head, but her voice was light.

“Mmm you don’t look too sorry. Go sit down at the table mister it’s time for dinner…”

He smiled and ran over to the table. He plopped down between Oliver and Lois as he started talking to the guys. Ten minutes later they’d said what they were thankful for and started in on dinner. As Jonathan shoveled sweet potato pie into his small mouth Chloe couldn’t help her curiosity.

“Sweetie…”

“Ywesh Mommy…”

“What did you do with my turkey?”

Jonathan swallowed the food in his mouth and grinned.

“Oh, I gave it to the dog I found the other day. It’s in the barn…oh and guess what…she had puppies!”

Chloe opened her mouth and closed it. She could hear the muffled laughter coming from the rest of the table and she sighed. Jonathan went back to eating and she smiled as she glanced around the table at her family.

Clark squeezed her hand lightly and gave her a kiss on the cheek before he went back to eating. Well as far as first experiences go this definitely wasn’t a thanksgiving she’d ever forget…maybe next year they’d actually have a turkey…and if they did Clark would be making it…