January 2, 2011

As The World Turns

Banner By: Andrea
Title: As The World Turns
Rating: PG-13
Author: Sxymami0909
Fandom: Bones
Warning: Spoilers through 6x09
Pairing: Booth/Brennan
Word Count: 670
Prompt: A tag to ‘Doctor in the Photo’ written for Dandiandi22

“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts.”

Three days…three days for the world to turn right side up again. Ever since she started this case a rumbling inside of her mind had begun. It was as if her feelings…her emotions were in direct conflict with her inner thoughts and rationalizations.

Doctor Temperance Brennan didn’t believe in chance or fate. She believed in things she could see…things she could prove. But working on this case had shaken something loose inside of her. The similarities between her and the victim had caused a rift in the wall that separated her emotions from her rational thinking, causing the lines to blur.

And for a few moments Brennan had given her emotions free rein, getting caught up in Mika’s words about signals, dim staticy messages from the universe. It wasn’t until after her confession that she realized why she’d spent all these years since her childhood keeping people at a distance, using science and rational thought to justify her actions and way of life.

When people put themselves out there, when their heart was open and they threw caution to the wind thinking with their heart instead of attempting to determine the consequences of their actions they inevitably got hurt. Booths words had stung tonight, more than she cared to admit.

But the truth was she couldn’t blame him. Rationally speaking he was in a relationship with a beautiful woman, and she’d turned his love away more than a year ago. It was irrational to expect him to wait until she caught up with him emotionally.

Brennan knew this, and yet the ache she felt to her core persisted. Where would they go from here? She could push her feelings aside as Booth once had, adjust to the reality that they would never get their chance. She’d ruined that, but as ridiculous as it sounded she couldn’t help that there was a part of her that still held out hope that she and Booth would get their chance.

It wasn’t even close to a logical thought and yet it crept inside of her head, or maybe it was her heart Brennan couldn’t be sure. At this point it was difficult to tell which one was guiding her actions. Before she met Booth and he gave her another point a view, another way to see and analyze things, she would have never even thought to consider that things ‘just happen’, or that love between certain people is right.

But now, her world had been turned upside down and as she'd evaluated her relationship with Booth from over the years, she could see what had been all too clear before and it made tears pool in the depths of her eyes. Seeley Booth had loved the person she was.

Not just one aspect of her, but everything that went into making her ‘Bones’. They held no secrets from each other and she was pretty sure there wasn’t anyone who she had let into her life more, not even Angela. Brennan had been willing to take a bullet for him on more than one occasion and he’d done the same for her.

Looking back, if she would’ve removed herself from the situation and studied their behavior objectively, she would’ve seen what was so plainly in front of her, but even so Brennan knew that wouldn’t have helped. Because even when she had realized Booths feelings, when he begged her, pleaded for her to give them a chance, fear that she’d hurt him, fear that it wouldn’t work, that he’d leave had kept her from the only thing she’d truly wanted.

And now it was too late, he’d practically said so himself. So she would go back to being rational, protect her heart, and possibly hold out hope that someday she’d get another chance. Until then she’d wait…it had taken one day to turn her life upside down and it would take three days for the world to turn right side up again.

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