Wild Card (1/5)

Banner By: Franica

Title: Wild Card
Rating: NC-17
Author: Sxymami0909
Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Oliver/Chloe Clark/Lois
Word Count: 15,054
Parts: 1/5
Chapter Artwork: By Franica
Spoilers: Up through season 9 set after ‘Absolute Justice’ but before ‘Warrior’ Lois does NOT know Clark is the Blur.
Special Thanks: I completely owe this story to Ihearttvsnark. Mandy what would I do without you? You totally helped me though this story thanks so much for taking the time to do that!
Dedication: This one was written for Geek_or_unique. Hun you’re beyond awesome!
Summary: Lois drags Chloe to a strip club to get information on a new story she's investigating. In order to not blow their cover they are forced into doing shots of an unknown liquor with the man Lois came looking for, bringing with it a night that the cousins would never forget, that is if they could remember it to begin with.



-The term wild card was originally used in card games, but the term has evolved to describe an unpredictable factor in any number of domains.




"Love is the wild card of existence." -Rita Mae Brown

Chapter 1
‘A Night in The Slammer’

Oliver made his way down the corridor following the burly officer in front of him as his hand clenched around the lace fabric in his pocket tightly. Thirty minutes ago he got a phone call from the Metropolis Police Department saying that they found his number on a petite blonde and someone needed to pick up said blonde and her cousin and get them the hell out of their prescient.

He had been surprised and relieved to hear from the station considering he and Clark had spent the last several hours looking for Chloe and Lois. The officer grunted and paused as he motioned in front of him. “They’re right through that first door. I’ll get the paperwork together and meet you inside in a few minutes.” Oliver nodded and walked forward pushing through the door.

When Chloe disappeared on him last night or rather early this morning he’d been worried, he bet right about now she was wishing she had listened to him when he told her to wait a minute and he’d come with them. A sigh left his throat as he walked through the door, at least they were okay.

He glanced over the holding cells until he saw the cell they were in. He stepped forward and came to a halt in front of the cell eyes wide as he took in the site before him. Chloe was lying flat on her back across the bench, one arm over her face; tiara on her head over her mused blonde curls clad in his dress shirt and nothing else.

He let out a long breath as his eyes roamed over to Lois who was on the floor on her back, legs leaning against the bench on the other side. She wore a short tight black pleather skirt with thigh high black boots and what Oliver could only describe as some kind of black corset made out of plastic and lace.

He shook his head and ran a hand down his face. What the hell had happened after he and Clark lost track of them last night? He reached out and grasped the bars calling out to the brunette lightly. “Lois…Lois wake up…it’s Oliver.”

The sound of her name being called made her wince as her hand flew straight to her head. She grumbled something incoherent and Oliver frowned. “Lois, wake up or I’m leaving you here.” She shifted her head to the side, her hand coming up to block the light from her eyes as she opened them, confusion on her face as she spoke.

“Oliver?” He nodded and gave a slight grin at her disgruntled appearance. “Who else…The police department found my number on Chloe, though I’m not sure where, and called me to come bail you guys out.” The brunette grunted and shifted back until she could bring her legs down carefully turning and resting her back against the bench as she spoke.

“Ugh…I guess I just fell asleep.” She glanced down at herself and frowned. “What the hell am I wearing?” Oliver shrugged. “No clue…better question, why isn’t Chloe wearing anything? What the hell happened after she left my apartment last night?” It wasn’t until then that Lois realized she wasn’t in the cell alone.

She glanced in front of her and her eyes widened slightly when she caught sight of Chloe. Her head was pounding and she was extremely uncomfortable on the floor. She let out another noise as she carefully and slowly pushed herself up until she was able to climb onto the bench and sit down.

She winced while rubbing the side of her head. “Uh…I’m not sure? Why was Chloe at your apartment and why are we in jail?” Oliver gave her a disapproving look ignoring her question about his apartment, no need to go into that at the moment.

“I don’t know…that’s what I’m asking you. Forget it…I’m sure they’ll tell me why you were arrested when I bail you out…he should be here in a couple of minutes to let you guys out.” He made his way to the other side of the cell his voice softening slightly as he called out to the blonde who was currently still sleeping.

“Chloe…hey Sidekick wake-up.” Chloe shifted and before Oliver could warn her she moved too far to the left and tumbled off the bench landing hard on the concrete floor. Oliver winced as her eyes snapped open a small whimper falling from her lips as her hand flew to her head. “Ow…”

She glanced behind her from the ground and saw Oliver standing outside the bars. From her angle he was upside down so when he smiled it looked like a frown. Confusion filled her voice as she spoke. “Oliver?” He nodded giving her a sympathetic look as she lifted herself up slowly into a sitting position.

“Yea…how you feeling?” She scrunched her nose and was about to answer him when her eyes strayed in front of her and she saw Lois. Her mouth dropped open and her cousin waved. Chloe broke out into a huge grin. “Oh my god Lois what are you wearing?” She let out a small laugh and Lois smirked motioning towards Chloe’s body.

“If I were you I wouldn’t talk…have you seen yourself?” Chloe frowned and glanced down her hands going to her bare legs as she took in her attire. Her head flew up causing her to wince as she looked between Oliver and Lois while speaking. “Where are the rest of my clothes? And whose shirt is this…it’s gigantic…”

Lois shrugged. “The last thing I remember is taking those absinthe shots with Mandragora…” Her eyes turned to slits, “that little slime bag probably drugged us or something.” Chloe pursed her lips and glared at her cousin while pointing in her direction. “This is your fault…I’m never helping you again. Whenever I do, something inevitably goes wrong and I end up either with a hangover, a criminal record, no car, or I wake up in the middle of random fields…sometimes all three…” Oliver attempted to hide his smile, but wasn’t quite able to.

Lois crossed her arms over her chest and let out a small ‘pft’ sound before addressing her irate cousin. “This is not my fault…how was I supposed to know that Stefano Mandragora would know who we are and try to drug us? I mean really Chloe…”

Oliver squinted trying to conjure up the image from the man at the bar last night. Had that really been Stefano Mandragora? His mind was still slightly fuzzy. What the hell was he doing in Metropolis and when had he left Gotham? As Chloe’s mouth opened to most likely yell at Lois, he interrupted making both women turn in his direction.

“Wait, that’s who you were going after? Stefano Mandragora? You do realize who he is right?” Oliver gave Lois an expectant look and she rolled her eyes and waved him off. “Yes I know who he his…big time mob boss from Gotham…was driven out of the city after he put a hit out on Franko Bertinelli and got him killed. I heard he captured that Huntress chick and she beat the snot out of him…causing him to high tail it to Metropolis to lick his wounds…”

Oliver could already feel the headache approaching as Lois continued talking while Chloe’s glare intensified on her cousin. “He’s been out here for close to a year and opened up that new gentleman’s club called ‘Wild Card’ you know the one with the slogan ‘Where unpredictability is spread wide before you’ or some crap like that.”

She air quoted the remark and Chloe snorted resting her palms flat against the floor. “It was ten times worse than that stupid Windgate place which was at least slightly classy and tasteful. I’ve never seen so many bare breasts in my life…don’t get me started on the other things I saw…”

Her voice trailed off and Oliver couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from his throat. He remembered Clark saying close to the same thing and even turning his head away in embarrassment several times. They glanced towards him and he cleared his throat.

“Yes I remember thank you…” He watched confusion pass across both their faces before Chloe spoke. “You remember?” She made a face and continued before he could answer her. “Oh god Oliver…please tell me you don’t make frequent trips to Wild Card…I might lose any respect I have for you…I mean Windgate sure…I get it…everyone likes to watch some ass shaking every once in a while…but really?”

He sent a glare at the blonde of the floor, a hint of annoyance in his voice. “Thanks Chloe…nice to know what you really think of me…and no, I don’t spend my free time at the Wild Card. Clark and I were there last night to keep an eye on you and Lois.”

Chloe opened her mouth, but before anything came out Lois’s angry voice broke through the silence, her brows drawn together irritation on her face. “What did you just say?” Oliver floundered swallowing hard as he glanced at Lois. This was not good…he was pretty sure he just got Clark in trouble unintentionally…

“I--” The police officer took that moment to make his way towards the cell, keys dangling from his hand. Lois and Chloe immediately stood up at the prospect of being let out. The guy shook his head as he glanced between the blonde and brunette while speaking.

“You ladies are getting off easy after what you did last night…I don’t want to see back in this precinct again…if I do we won’t be so easy on you next time…” Lois opened her mouth and Chloe kicked her none too gently with her heeled foot. Lois let out a small yelp as Chloe spoke. “Not a problem officer.”

He made a face before unlocking the door and pulling it open. As the girls walked out he handed Oliver he paperwork and pointed towards a doorway further down than the one he’d come through. “Take them through there, pay the bail and they’ll be able to collect what they had on them when we took them in.”

Oliver nodded his thanks as he waited for Chloe and Lois to start walking in that direction as he followed behind them. They made their way into the small room and both girls were very aware of the mixture between amused and dirty looks they were getting.

As they stood there waiting for their stuff Oliver glossed over the charges his eyes widening, an incredulous tone to his voice as he spoke. “I’m sorry…is this amount for both of them together…or is it for each of them individually?” The officer smirked. “Individually.”

He glanced at the two women next to him and shook his head before looking back at the officer his tone light as he handed over his black card. “Not that I care about the price…but would you like to tell me why you want $30,000 for each of them…what exactly did they do?”

The officer glanced down at his sheet flipping through a few things. “You want a list?” For a second he was completely baffled by the question. There was a list? He shook the thought away and nodded. “Sure.” The man in front of him skimmed over the paper and started reading off a few of the charges.

“They were booked on public intoxication, drunk and disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, refusing transport, inciting a riot, destruction of private property, public indecency, indecent exposure, attempted bribery of law enforcement, sex offenders…”

Oliver was almost positive his mouth couldn’t get any closer to the ground. He made a noise in the back of his throat and the middle aged man glanced up eyebrows raised. The blonde billionaire pointed at the women next to him.

“I’m sorry…did you say sex offenders…these two? Who exactly were they offending?” The man smirked and shrugged. “That one will probably be tossed out…in some places people can get put on the registry for being naked in public…and there were complaints from a few people…but when we found them this is what they were wearing so you shouldn’t have too much trouble with that…should I keep going?”

Oliver winced. “There’s more? You know what…no forget it. I really don’t care…just charge the card so I can get these two home.” He nodded as several chuckles filled the room around them. Chloe’s eyes were burning into Lois who gave her cousin a sheepish smile.

“Uh…so…it looks like we had some fun last night huh Chlo?” Chloe’s arms crossed over her chest causing the shirt to rise to her upper thighs. “No Lois…this is not what I consider fun…I’m serious…never again…” The officer processed the payment and handed all of the paperwork back to Oliver as he pointed at the girls.

“They need to appear in court. The dates on the slip…make sure they get there in one piece.” Oliver gave him a tight smile as a younger officer brought out two bins a large grin on his face. Lois and Chloe took a step forward and looked inside the bins.

There was a long whip, a green boa, Lois’s missing shoe, plastic handcuffs, Oliver’s business card, and a camera. They hesitantly reached in grabbing their things before Oliver ushered them out of the police station completely torn between laughing and scolding them.

When they made it outside the sun shone brightly causing them to blink and as they walked towards the steps Lois spotted Clark running up to them relief on his face. He pulled her into his arms and she let out a small grunt her arms moving around his neck as she smiled.

“Whoa here Smallville…take it easy big guy.” She patted his back before he pulled away slightly so he could look down on her. “You have no idea how worried I was when you disappeared last night after they threw us out of that club I mean…” His voice trailed off as he glanced at her outfit eyebrows shooting up.

“What are you wearing?” Lois followed his line of vision and let out a strained chuckle before speaking. “Uh yeah…about that…” She took his arm leading him away from Chloe and Oliver as she continued speaking. “Why don’t we head back to the farm and we can trade stories…I’ll tell you what I remember up to the point of downing the mind obliterating death elixir and you can tell me about how you were spying on me with Oliver…”

Clark gulped hard at the look on her face as she led him away. Chloe watched them go arms around her body as she shook her head before turning toward Oliver amusement dancing in his eyes as he watched the couple head in the other direction.

Chloe bit her lip and cleared her throat drawing Oliver’s attention to her. She tilted her head to the side and gave him a small smile. “Thanks for bailing us out…” He nodded his hands slipping into his pockets, fingers once again curling around the lace fabric there.

“Any time.” They stood there quietly and when he noticed her shiver slightly and took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Chloe gave him a startled look blinking slightly before her face warmed. “Thanks…look I’m really sorry you got dragged into this mess by Clark.”

He shrugged studying her closely. “Not a big deal…so how’s your memory coming along?” Chloe squinted her eyes and scrunched her nose. “Not so great…I wish I could remember what happened maybe it will come back eventually…”

She slid her arms through the jacket wrapping it around herself before moving her hands towards the pockets. Oliver’s eyes widened, but before he could say anything her small hands slipped inside the pockets and she frowned when she felt the fabric there.

She lifted her palm out of his jacket pocket, the material engulfing her and held up the garment that had been hiding in his pocket. She stared at the bra that she held between them eyes wide, mouth agape. She stuttered slightly as she met Oliver’s eyes. “Is this…is this my bra? Why do you have my bra?”

He had hoped she wouldn’t find that, but apparently it just wasn’t his day He should have left it at his penthouse. He let out a long breath and sighed well…this should be interesting.

Chapter Two: The Mobster and The Green Fairy