Chapter 8
Chapter 7
“Summer Vacation”
Two Months Later (July)
(Ricky POV)
I opened my eyes slowly and tried to figure out what woke me up. That’s when I heard it. John’s whimpers were quickly turning into cries. I rubbed a hand down my face and sighed, but before I could sit up the bed shifted and I felt the covers beneath me moving.
“You got him last time, I’ll get him.”
I turned my head and watched her walk around the bed and grab John from his cot. She jiggled him lightly against her hip.
“Shhh, it’s okay baby, mommy’s here. Let’s go get you a bottle.”
I sat up and leaned against her headboard.
“Does he feel warm?”
She put her lips to his forehead and shook her head lightly.
“A little, but a lot cooler than he was.”
I nodded and moved to get up, but her voice stopped me.
“Get some rest Ricky, he’s fine. I got him. You were up with him for a while last night. It’s still early, I’m going to try and see if he’ll go back to sleep after I feed him.”
I am tired…
“You sure?”
She nodded and walked out of the room with John in her arms. I moved and plopped back down on the bed. My thoughts drifted back to yesterday night…
*Flashback*
I threw my dirty clothes in my hamper as I glanced at the clock. Adrian is gonna be here in five minutes and I didn’t even get a chance to change and shower. I spent most of the day with Amy and John. Since Ashley and George left to ‘tour the country’ or so they say and her mom is renovating a house with that David guy, Amy is usually alone.
Her mom drops her off at summer school in the morning while I take John to the nursery and lately I’ve been picking her up and dropping her off at work. If her mom’s home when she gets out of work then she’ll get Amy if not Amy calls me and I pick her and John up. We’ve gotten into a nice routine this summer and Mr. Boykewich and Bunny have been great with working around my schedule.
Most days I go into work after I drop off John in the morning and I’m out by the early afternoon to pick up Amy and John, unless Anne is around, then I work until Amy gets off work. She trusts me a lot more with John then she used to and that means so much to me.
Right before school ended we agreed to help each other out this summer, but then when Ben caught me at her house the morning he left for Italy…I thought she’d take it all back. I thought she’d be mad at me for letting her sleep, staying to take care of John all night, and popping up right when Ben was there, but she didn’t.
It’s weird, but the exact opposite happened. She got angry with Ben and they’ve spent the last month fighting over international phone calls. Finally, about two weeks ago Ben just stopped calling and I think that hurt Amy worse then the fighting. A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I brushed my shirt off and opened it.
Adrian stood there with a sexy smile on her face and I smirked as I opened the door wider so she could walk in. I shut it behind her and before I could walk further into the room she was on me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her lips captured mine.
Oh man…she’s hot…I turned her around so she was against the wall as I deepened the kiss and brought a hand down to grab her thigh. She lifted herself lightly as I hoisted her up and her legs wrapped around my waist. I moved us toward my bedroom and I heard her groan.
“It’s been too long Ricky. I hate how you’ve been so busy lately.”
I rolled my eyes and dropped her on my bed. She bounced slightly as I pulled my t-shirt over my head.
“I have responsibilities Adrian…you know that.”
I watched as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside as I moved over her. I leaned down and started kissing her neck hoping she would stop talking. She moaned and I smirked. God I miss sex…it’s been like two weeks since Adrian and I had time to get together and have sex.
Two weeks…Now that I think about it…I think it’s the longest I’ve ever gone without sex. I felt Adrian’s hands snake to my pants and right as she unzipped them my cell phone rang. We froze as one of my drum solos played. Amy…I took a deep breath and went to move off Adrian when she grabbed my arm and glared at me.
“What are you doing?”
“Answering my phone.”
She gave me a look of disbelief.
“Ricky! It can wait…we’re busy.”
“It’s Amy, Adrian.”
Her glared turned even more icy if that was possible. Hmm maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say. I moved again and she yanked on my arm. I shook her hand off me and glared back at her.
“Cut it out.”
“No! I hate how she always calls you…how you always drop everything for her! It’s getting ridiculous Ricky and I’m sick of it! She can take care of John herself for one night. She doesn’t need you every second of the day. Tell her you’re busy…better yet tell her we’re busy.”
I shook my head.
“She doesn’t call all the time…and when she does it’s about John…remember him Adrian? My son?”
She sat there fuming as she her glare bore into me. I picked up my cell phone and flipped it open.
“Hey Amy, listen this really isn’t a good…”
Her panicked words cut me off and I froze.
“Ricky, John’s sick…John’s sick and I called my mom and she’s not answering her phone and I don’t know what to do…He’s never been sick before. He’s got a fever…Ricky I…I…d don’t know what to do.”
My face changed from anger and annoyance to concern. I could hear the tears in her voice and I frowned.
“What do you mean? I was just there a few hours ago…he seemed fine.”
“I know! But…he’s too warm Ricky…oh god I’m a horrible mother…I let John get sick…and now I have no clue how to make him better.”
I heard her start to cry and I could hear John’s wails over the phone.
I held the phone with my ear, grabbed my shirt from the floor and put it on.
“Amy relax it’s going to be fine. You need to calm down or John is going to keep screaming. I’m going to run to the drugstore and pick up some baby Tylenol. Call John’s pediatrician…do you have the number?”
I heard her take a deep breath.
“I called. There was no answer so I left a message and paged him. I’m waiting for him to call back.”
“Okay good. I’m on my way now. When I get there we’ll give him the medicine and if he’s still sick after we’ll bring him to the hospital if you’re really worried okay?”
Her voice was so low I barely heard it.
“Okay…t thanks Ricky…I just…I didn’t mean to freak out…I I’m scared…”
I swallowed hard and stopped moving for a minute. It’s sounds stupid…but I’m scared too. All babies’ get colds…they get sick…but those babies aren’t mine…
“It’ll be fine…I’ll see you soon.”
I shut the phone and looked over at Adrian watching me.
“You gotta go. I’m sorry Adrian…we were both looking forward to tonight, but John’s sick. He’s got a fever. I need to run to the store, get some medicine, and head to Amy’s.”
I saw her jaw tense as she got off the bed, grabbed her shirt, and put it back on.
“You’re unbelievable Ricky. Amy is perfectly capable of handling John, sick or not. If I had to bet I’d say she’s just doing this because she likes having you around and you’re falling for it. Or maybe you’re just falling for her…has anything happened with you and Amy since Ben’s been gone?”
I scrunched up my eyebrows and shook my head.
“Now isn’t the time for this conversation Adrian, but no, nothing’s going on between me and Amy. And for your information Amy does need me. She’s 15 Adrian…she’s terrified that she did something to make John sick and she’s never had a kid before so its not crazy that she doesn’t know how to deal with a sick baby.”
I met her eyes and as I continued speaking I could see the anger on her face being replaced by hurt.
“George and Ashley took off for the summer and her mom is never home anymore. She’s always with that David guy. She’s by herself Adrian and I know that doesn’t faze you because you’re used to always being alone, but you don’t have a four-month old baby to deal with.”
My voice softened as I grabbed my keys.
“Amy isn’t used to being alone…and I would think that after spending 16-years without a father there to look after you, you’d want me to be the first one by John’s side when he’s sick for the first time. I don’t want to miss a minute, good or bad with him.”
I could see the tears building in her eyes as she spoke.
“You’re always going to put them before me aren’t you? Amy and John…they’ll always come before us. Even if I somehow get you to stop cheating on me…and we make a commitment to each other…they’ll always come first…you’ll always run when she calls…”
I opened my mouth as I looked at her and then closed it. I could lie to her, but for once I wanted to tell her the truth…I swallowed hard and nodded.
“Yes.”
She shook her head and let out a bitter laugh as a tear slid down her cheek. I wanted to wipe it away, but I stood my ground. I think a part of me cares about Adrian more than I should…I probably always will…she’s the first person who ever loved me because she wanted to…not because she had to, but what we have…it’s wrong for me to lead her on…I really do hate hurting her.
“Then why do we keep doing this? Why do you keep coming back to me?”
“I…I don’t know.”
She nodded.
“Then maybe it’s time this,”
She motioned between us,
“Stopped…”
I swallowed hard again.
“Maybe…”
“Fine, goodbye Ricky…”
I watched her walk out of my room and as she slammed the apartment door closed I flinched. I felt a slight tinge of pain, but I ignored it, walked toward the door and headed toward the drug store.
Present Time
The shifting bed startled me out of my thoughts and I opened an eye to see Amy gently sitting on the bed. She glanced at me and scrunched up her nose.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I tried to be quiet.”
“You didn’t. I haven’t gotten back to sleep yet. What time is it?”
I watched her yawn as she put John down slowly on the bed between us and lay down. She shifted on her side and rubbed her eyes slightly.
“About five.”
I groaned and moved onto my side so I was facing them. I brushed my hand lightly over his head and I could feel it was only slightly warm. The doctor called back last night after I got here and we made an appointment with him for later today just to be safe.
“He seems to be doing better.”
She closed her eyes and nodded.
I pulled my hand back and watched his chest rise and fall.
“I guess it was just a cold.”
I watched her open one eye.
“Ricky…”
“Hmm?”
“Shut up.”
I gave her a startled look and she let out a quiet laugh.
“I’m trying to go back to sleep. If you want to talk to yourself go in John’s room or shut up, close your eyes, and go back to bed.”
I laughed lightly.
“Sorry…Hey Amy…”
She sighed and snuggled further into her pillow. Her voice was muffled by the pillow, but I heard the ‘what.’
“Thanks for calling me last night.”
She turned her head and I could see her eyes soften.
“Thanks for coming.”
I nodded and she smiled before moving closer to John and closing her eyes. I shifted to my back, placed a hand behind my head and closed my eyes. As weird as it is to be laying here sharing a bed with my son and Amy…at the same time…it’s not so weird…it feels almost…natural.
Maybe that’s what made it weird in my mind…oh well I’m not going to over analyze the situation…it is what it is…it works for us and for John and that’s all that matters…
(Amy POV)
I glanced at the ceiling as I listened to the even breathing coming from next to me. I turned my head and glanced over to see Ricky and John both fast asleep. I smiled. If someone had told me five months ago that I’d be sharing a bed with Ricky Underwood I would have said they were crazy…
It wasn’t intentional…it just happened. When Ricky got here last night we spent a couple of hours calming John down and getting him to sleep. Ricky fell asleep in my chair, but he looked so uncomfortable so the next time John woke up, when Ricky picked him up I told him to bring him to the bed.
He did and we wound up falling asleep after getting John to bed. I sighed. I moved carefully and got off the bed as slowly as possible so I wouldn’t wake them up. When I was off the bed and I was sure they were okay I grabbed my robe and headed for the bathroom.
I showered, fixed my hair and makeup and walked back in my room to grab some clothes. As I was going through the closet I heard a grunt come from the bed. I turned and saw Ricky shifting. He scrunched up his nose, rubbed his face, and burrowed his head further into the pillow.
I chuckled lightly and looked back toward my closet. I had just grabbed one of my summer dresses when Ricky’s hoarse voice startled me.
“What are you laughing at?”
I turned, but his face was still in the pillow.
“You?”
“Hmph…what time is it?”
“Seven.”
“Ugh…on a Saturday…it’s my day off…and I’m up at seven in the morning…”
His voice trailed off as he shifted on the bed again.
“Tell me about it. I’m gonna go get dressed. You hungry? I can make some eggs or something.”
He turned his head and glanced at me. I watched his eyes sweep over my body and my cheeks reddened as I pulled the robe tighter against me. He smirked and raised an eyebrow.
“Shower?”
“What?”
“You showered…”
I nodded.
“Oh, yeah. While you were sleeping. You’re welcome to shower too…”
He shook his head.
“Nah it’s okay. I don’t have any clean clothes here. I was thinking since John’s appointment is at 11…after breakfast why don’t you two come home with me, I’ll shower and change and then we can just go straight there…it’ll be easier then me going back and forth…if that’s okay…”
His voice trailed off and I gave him half a smile.
“Sure sounds good. I’m just gonna…”
I motioned to the bathroom and he nodded. I got dressed and went into the kitchen to make eggs and bacon. Okay so I might not be the best cook in the world, but believe it or not Ricky cooks pretty well and he’s been showing me a thing or two.
A half our later Ricky walked into the kitchen with a very awake John. The table was set and Ricky placed John in his high chair before plopping down in one of the seats. He yawned as I brought the pan over and pushed some eggs onto his plate.
I put a plate of bacon and toast on the table and grabbed cups for the orange juice. A couple minutes later we were sitting there with John in between us eating breakfast. I was in the middle of my second forkful of eggs when a plastic spoon hit Ricky in the head.
He frowned for a second trying to figure out what hit his and I had to cover my mouth to keep the eggs from flying out.
“What…”
In between laughs I pointed to John and spoke.
“He…haha…obviously wanted your attention…hahaha”
John was laughing and Ricky gave me a playful glare.
“Oh yeah?”
He tossed the fork at me lightly and it hit me right on the forehead. My mouth opened wide as Johns giggles got louder and Ricky started to chuckle.
“Real mature…”
He rolled his eyes.
“I never claimed to be mature…you’re the mature one in this…thing.”
I shook my head and before I could say anything the kitchen door opened. Ricky and I looked up to see my mom and David walk in. They were in the middle of a conversation, but when they saw the three of us at the table eating they froze. I cleared my throat.
“Morning mom.”
“Amy…hello Ricky.”
“Hi Anne, how are you?”
She nodded.
“I’m doing okay. You’re here early this morning.”
He opened his mouth, but I cut him off.
“John was sick last night. He had a pretty high fever so Ricky got medicine and came over to help me out. I called you…but I guess you were busy.”
I saw concern filter over her face as she came over to look at John. She studied him for a bit before speaking.
“Well he looks like he’s doing okay. You should call his pediatrician though just to be safe.”
“I did. We have an appointment at 11.”
She nodded, glanced at Ricky, and smiled.
“Thanks for being here for Amy and John Ricky.”
“Of course.”
I saw my Mom and David exchange a look and David nodded. My mom smiled at us.
“Well I’m going to go get changed and relax. I had a long day yesterday.”
She walked around us, down the hall, and I heard her bedroom door open. I glanced at David and he smiled and then came and sat at the table with Ricky and me. It was quiet for a few minutes aside from the noises John was making.
David cleared his throat and glanced at Ricky then me.
“Your mother and I were discussing something. Since uh…we’re renovating the big house for the new baby and us…we were thinking that maybe you’d like to stay in the guest house with John. Before you say anything I think you should think about it.”
He took a deep breath and continued.
“I think it would be good for you to start over somewhere new…a new school, a new town. Maybe things will be easier and if you’re staying with us you wouldn’t have to work…you can just focus on school…and John. It’s a nice place and the next time your mother and I go up there we’d like you to come with us.”
I frowned slightly.
“What about Ashley and my dad?”
He shrugged.
“Ashley is more than welcome to come to, but I think she prefers to stay with your dad. The thing is Amy…your mom is probably going to sell this house when we’re done with the renovation. We want to make sure there’s somewhere for you and John to go though. I know how important having your mom around is so we came up with this solution…we can start over…and create a new family…”
I opened my mouth, but before I could say anything Ricky’s voice echoed through the kitchen.
“Amy has a family.”
I glanced at him and I could see his body was tense. If I move in with mom and David and leave here…then we leave Ricky…I swallowed hard as David looked towards Ricky. His smile faded as he gave Ricky a weary look.
“I’m not saying she doesn’t. I’m saying that we’d be willing to support her and help with John. She's going to have a little sibling that I’m sure Anne could use help with too. Anne wants Amy to come with us and I’m trying to make a situation that works for everyone.”
He shook his head.
“No, you’re trying to make a situation that works best for you. This place you guys are renovating…it’s far…”
I nodded.
“That’s what mom said. How far is it David?”
He sighed.
“A few hours…maybe close to three…”
His voice trailed off and I looked back at Ricky. He didn’t look happy. David leaned back in his chair and spoke again.
“This is a good opportunity for Amy and John, Ricky. I can see how stressful it is on both of you to work and go to school and take care of a baby. This way Amy could focus on school and John…and maybe I can even convince Anne to let us get a nanny so that when Amy’s in school she doesn’t have to pay for childcare…don’t you want what’s best for them?”
I watched Ricky’s jaw clench and I felt awful. That was a low blow by David. He seems like a nice guy and all, but I really don’t like him. I could feel Ricky’s anger coming off in waves, but he spoke in an utterly calm voice.
“Of course I want what’s best for Amy and our son…and what’s best for them is to be here…with me…we’re I can help.”
David opened his mouth and I cut him off as I glanced at Ricky and John before looking back at David.
“Ricky’s right David. I appreciate the offer, but my family is here. John deserves to see his father as much as he can…I won’t take that away from Ricky or John…”
He glanced between us and nodded.
“I tried…”
He gave us a tight smile and walked down the hall to talk to my mother. Ricky started gathering up the empty plates and putting them in the sink. I got John’s bag together as I watched him clean up the table. He caught me staring and he raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
I shook my head.
“Nothing…”
It was quiet for a few more minutes before his voice broke the silence.
“Thank you…for turning him down…I know things are hard here…with work, school, and everything, but I’m doing what I can to make it easier…I’m trying…”
My voice was quiet.
“They are hard, you do make things easier, and I know you’re trying…”
He nodded and put the dish towel down. He glanced around and after a couple of seconds his eyes found mine.
“When I was younger…I never…I never really had a family. Not one I could turn to that cared about me…and I just…I don’t ever want that to happen to John. I always want him to have someone he can go to…whether it's you, me, Ashley, your mom or dad, Margaret or my foster dad…I want him to know how much we love him.”
My eyes teared up and I nodded.
“He will…I know that we aren’t in a relationship, but I like to think after everything that’s happened and how far we’ve come that we’re at least friends Ricky…I know I can count on you when it comes to John…you’re here for us…and that’s what a family is.”
I watched him swallow as his eyes grew red.
“No matter how much we fight…or who you’re with or who I’m with…one thing you can always count on is me and John…you’ll always have us. You’ll always have a family…a place to come as long as we’re around…so just…you know. Don’t forget that…”
I could see the emotions on his face as he tried to hold them at bay. He moved closer and slowly pulled me into a hug. I tensed for a second before relaxing against him. The last time he held me like this I was pregnant with John…
“Same goes for you. I know we have our moments and we fight and yell sometimes, but I’m not going anywhere. When all else fails…you can turn to me Amy…I’ve done a lot of shitty things in my life…I’ve disappointed a lot of people, but I won’t disappoint you…or John…”
I nodded against his shoulder.
“I know.”
We stood like that few a few minutes. His arms wrapped around my back, mine around his neck. I breathed in his sent, closed my eyes, and sighed. As he held me a thought flew through my head that shook me to the core…a thought that couldn’t possibly be true…because if it was it would hurt too many people…
A thought that hasn’t flown through my head in close to a year…but one I couldn’t quite push away…with everything that's happening now…Ben not calling for close to a month, Adrian and Ricky fighting, Ricky and I getting along…being comfortable with each other…what if this is the way things are supposed to end up…
What if there’s a reason I got pregnant…What if Ben’s not the guy for me…What if it’s been Ricky all along…
(Adrian POV)
I glanced at my watch as I stood in front of Ricky’s door. 9:15…I’m sure he’s back from Amy’s by now. He might be sleeping…but you know what I don’t care. We need to talk about this…I don’t want to loose him…I was upset last night…maybe we can fix things…or at least compromise…
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I heard a noise behind the door before the click of the door being unlocked sounded. I smiled, but when the door swung open my smile slowly faded. What the hell is she doing here?
I frowned as she shifted the baby on her hip. I saw her swallow hard before glancing behind her then looking back at me.
“Hi Adrian…”
“Amy…where’s Ricky?”
“Uh…he’s in the shower.”
I pushed the door open wider and she stumbled slightly as the door opened into her. She glared at me as I walked in. She shut the door and switched the baby onto her other hip.
“You could have asked if you could come in instead of pushing the door into me.”
I turned to face her and moved in until she was only a foot or two away from me. My voice was harsh when I spoke.
“Listen up…because I’m only gonna say this once. I don’t need permission from you or anyone else to come into Ricky’s apartment. I know what you’re doing Amy…but he doesn’t love you and he never will.”
She frowned.
“What are you talking about Adrian? There is nothing going on between Ricky and me. I’m tired of defending the fact that he’s there for his son.”
“Whatever…since the summer started all you do is call Ricky. He never has any free time at all anymore and you’re relying on him way too much. Can’t you see how selfish you’re being? He’s tired…he’s working extra hours, he's running back and forth to the nursery, your house, work, the school…just to accommodate you…he’d never say it, but he needs a break…”
I saw her eyes tear up slightly as she held the baby closer to her and kissed his head when he started to fuss. Her voice came out soft.
“Did he say that? Did he say he needed a break…that John was too much for him?”
I rolled my eyes.
“He didn’t have to…I know him. I know him better than anyone…and he needs a break.”
I pointed a finger at her as my voice got louder.
“You need to stop playing this wounded little girl act, because sooner or later Ricky isn’t going to fall for it anymore. It’s ridiculous and pathetic.”
By this time the baby was crying and Amy was bouncing him as she sent a glare my way. I moved closer to her and she took a step back as I motioned toward the baby. I opened my mouth, but before anything could come out a loud voice came from behind me. Well great…this isn’t how things were supposed to go…
(Ricky POV)
I came out of the shower threw on clean boxers and jeans when I heard the yelling. I frowned. What the hell is going on? I walked out of my room hair still went, jeans unbuttoned and no shirt on. What I saw made anger boil inside me.
Amy was backing away from Adrian and even with the glare in her eyes I could see the tears. John was crying in her arms as he grabbed at Amy’s face and Adrian was moving closer as she pointed at Amy. I felt my fists ball and I yelled into the room silencing whatever Adrian was about to say.
“What the hell is going on here?”
Adrian turned slowly in my direction and I saw her sigh. She was quiet as Amy tried to get John to quiet down. I walked toward Amy and John my glare never leaving Adrian. Finally my eyes softened and I looked at John.
“Is he okay?”
I reached out and Amy moved away from me, but nodded.
“I got him…he’s fine.”
Her movements were tense and I turned to face Adrian. My voice was quiet, but hard.
“What did you do?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged.
“Nothing…”
“Adrian…”
She rolled her eyes.
“I just told her that you deserve some time off…you’ve been working so hard Ricky and I know you’re tired of always running back and forth here and there…and that you needed a break…”
I gave her a look of disbelief…I don’t even know what to say about that…yeah I’ve been stressed lately, but so has Amy…am I tired? Yes…has a lot been going on this summer? Yeah…is it overwhelming at times? Yeah…do I want a break from my son? No…absolutely not.
Amy’s 15…I’m 16…it’s not like anyone said having a baby would be easy…it’s hard and it takes up a lot of time and I don’t have as much time to mess around as I used to but I wouldn’t give John up for anything…I love him.
I shook my head, moved so I was standing next to Amy, who was ignoring me, and spoke, in a hard voice.
“Apologize…”
Adrian looked confused and Amy glanced between us. I motioned to Amy.
“Apologize to her Adrian…apologize for implying that I need a break from my son…you know anytime Amy and I finally work things out where we are on good terms with each other and she’s finally starting to trust me you or Ben or someone else does something to mess it all up…but not this time. Apologize…because that’s not true. I don’t want a break from John.”
She glared at me and looked between me and Amy.
“I’m not apologizing.”
“Fine…then get out. I didn’t invite you here…you came over on your own and I’m busy…with my family.”
I saw the look of hurt that flittered across her face.
“That’s right Adrian…Amy and John are my family. So what if Amy and I aren’t together…John is still the most important person in my life…get used to it because that isn’t going to change. When you’re ready to accept that…and you can apologize to Amy…then you’re more then welcome to come back…I’m tired of fighting with you though…”
I opened my mouth and Amy placed a hand on my arm. Her voice was soft when she spoke and I glanced at her to see John with his head on her shoulder and hand in his mouth.
“Ricky…don’t…”
She motioned to Adrian who had tears in her eyes and I sighed as the anger in me deflated . Adrian gave us one last look before walking to the door, yanking it open and storming out. I care about Adrian, but I’m tired of her not understanding that John’s my son and he’ll always come first.
I thought things ended last night…and at the time I was sad about that, but now I don’t know…when I saw Adrian yelling at Amy…and I saw John crying…there are only a few times I’ve ever been that mad…maybe even though Adrian and I think a like and I always go back to her…maybe she isn’t the girl for me…maybe I really do have feelings for Amy…
Chapter 7
“Summer Vacation”
Two Months Later (July)
(Ricky POV)
I opened my eyes slowly and tried to figure out what woke me up. That’s when I heard it. John’s whimpers were quickly turning into cries. I rubbed a hand down my face and sighed, but before I could sit up the bed shifted and I felt the covers beneath me moving.
“You got him last time, I’ll get him.”
I turned my head and watched her walk around the bed and grab John from his cot. She jiggled him lightly against her hip.
“Shhh, it’s okay baby, mommy’s here. Let’s go get you a bottle.”
I sat up and leaned against her headboard.
“Does he feel warm?”
She put her lips to his forehead and shook her head lightly.
“A little, but a lot cooler than he was.”
I nodded and moved to get up, but her voice stopped me.
“Get some rest Ricky, he’s fine. I got him. You were up with him for a while last night. It’s still early, I’m going to try and see if he’ll go back to sleep after I feed him.”
I am tired…
“You sure?”
She nodded and walked out of the room with John in her arms. I moved and plopped back down on the bed. My thoughts drifted back to yesterday night…
*Flashback*
I threw my dirty clothes in my hamper as I glanced at the clock. Adrian is gonna be here in five minutes and I didn’t even get a chance to change and shower. I spent most of the day with Amy and John. Since Ashley and George left to ‘tour the country’ or so they say and her mom is renovating a house with that David guy, Amy is usually alone.
Her mom drops her off at summer school in the morning while I take John to the nursery and lately I’ve been picking her up and dropping her off at work. If her mom’s home when she gets out of work then she’ll get Amy if not Amy calls me and I pick her and John up. We’ve gotten into a nice routine this summer and Mr. Boykewich and Bunny have been great with working around my schedule.
Most days I go into work after I drop off John in the morning and I’m out by the early afternoon to pick up Amy and John, unless Anne is around, then I work until Amy gets off work. She trusts me a lot more with John then she used to and that means so much to me.
Right before school ended we agreed to help each other out this summer, but then when Ben caught me at her house the morning he left for Italy…I thought she’d take it all back. I thought she’d be mad at me for letting her sleep, staying to take care of John all night, and popping up right when Ben was there, but she didn’t.
It’s weird, but the exact opposite happened. She got angry with Ben and they’ve spent the last month fighting over international phone calls. Finally, about two weeks ago Ben just stopped calling and I think that hurt Amy worse then the fighting. A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I brushed my shirt off and opened it.
Adrian stood there with a sexy smile on her face and I smirked as I opened the door wider so she could walk in. I shut it behind her and before I could walk further into the room she was on me. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her lips captured mine.
Oh man…she’s hot…I turned her around so she was against the wall as I deepened the kiss and brought a hand down to grab her thigh. She lifted herself lightly as I hoisted her up and her legs wrapped around my waist. I moved us toward my bedroom and I heard her groan.
“It’s been too long Ricky. I hate how you’ve been so busy lately.”
I rolled my eyes and dropped her on my bed. She bounced slightly as I pulled my t-shirt over my head.
“I have responsibilities Adrian…you know that.”
I watched as she pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it aside as I moved over her. I leaned down and started kissing her neck hoping she would stop talking. She moaned and I smirked. God I miss sex…it’s been like two weeks since Adrian and I had time to get together and have sex.
Two weeks…Now that I think about it…I think it’s the longest I’ve ever gone without sex. I felt Adrian’s hands snake to my pants and right as she unzipped them my cell phone rang. We froze as one of my drum solos played. Amy…I took a deep breath and went to move off Adrian when she grabbed my arm and glared at me.
“What are you doing?”
“Answering my phone.”
She gave me a look of disbelief.
“Ricky! It can wait…we’re busy.”
“It’s Amy, Adrian.”
Her glared turned even more icy if that was possible. Hmm maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say. I moved again and she yanked on my arm. I shook her hand off me and glared back at her.
“Cut it out.”
“No! I hate how she always calls you…how you always drop everything for her! It’s getting ridiculous Ricky and I’m sick of it! She can take care of John herself for one night. She doesn’t need you every second of the day. Tell her you’re busy…better yet tell her we’re busy.”
I shook my head.
“She doesn’t call all the time…and when she does it’s about John…remember him Adrian? My son?”
She sat there fuming as she her glare bore into me. I picked up my cell phone and flipped it open.
“Hey Amy, listen this really isn’t a good…”
Her panicked words cut me off and I froze.
“Ricky, John’s sick…John’s sick and I called my mom and she’s not answering her phone and I don’t know what to do…He’s never been sick before. He’s got a fever…Ricky I…I…d don’t know what to do.”
My face changed from anger and annoyance to concern. I could hear the tears in her voice and I frowned.
“What do you mean? I was just there a few hours ago…he seemed fine.”
“I know! But…he’s too warm Ricky…oh god I’m a horrible mother…I let John get sick…and now I have no clue how to make him better.”
I heard her start to cry and I could hear John’s wails over the phone.
I held the phone with my ear, grabbed my shirt from the floor and put it on.
“Amy relax it’s going to be fine. You need to calm down or John is going to keep screaming. I’m going to run to the drugstore and pick up some baby Tylenol. Call John’s pediatrician…do you have the number?”
I heard her take a deep breath.
“I called. There was no answer so I left a message and paged him. I’m waiting for him to call back.”
“Okay good. I’m on my way now. When I get there we’ll give him the medicine and if he’s still sick after we’ll bring him to the hospital if you’re really worried okay?”
Her voice was so low I barely heard it.
“Okay…t thanks Ricky…I just…I didn’t mean to freak out…I I’m scared…”
I swallowed hard and stopped moving for a minute. It’s sounds stupid…but I’m scared too. All babies’ get colds…they get sick…but those babies aren’t mine…
“It’ll be fine…I’ll see you soon.”
I shut the phone and looked over at Adrian watching me.
“You gotta go. I’m sorry Adrian…we were both looking forward to tonight, but John’s sick. He’s got a fever. I need to run to the store, get some medicine, and head to Amy’s.”
I saw her jaw tense as she got off the bed, grabbed her shirt, and put it back on.
“You’re unbelievable Ricky. Amy is perfectly capable of handling John, sick or not. If I had to bet I’d say she’s just doing this because she likes having you around and you’re falling for it. Or maybe you’re just falling for her…has anything happened with you and Amy since Ben’s been gone?”
I scrunched up my eyebrows and shook my head.
“Now isn’t the time for this conversation Adrian, but no, nothing’s going on between me and Amy. And for your information Amy does need me. She’s 15 Adrian…she’s terrified that she did something to make John sick and she’s never had a kid before so its not crazy that she doesn’t know how to deal with a sick baby.”
I met her eyes and as I continued speaking I could see the anger on her face being replaced by hurt.
“George and Ashley took off for the summer and her mom is never home anymore. She’s always with that David guy. She’s by herself Adrian and I know that doesn’t faze you because you’re used to always being alone, but you don’t have a four-month old baby to deal with.”
My voice softened as I grabbed my keys.
“Amy isn’t used to being alone…and I would think that after spending 16-years without a father there to look after you, you’d want me to be the first one by John’s side when he’s sick for the first time. I don’t want to miss a minute, good or bad with him.”
I could see the tears building in her eyes as she spoke.
“You’re always going to put them before me aren’t you? Amy and John…they’ll always come before us. Even if I somehow get you to stop cheating on me…and we make a commitment to each other…they’ll always come first…you’ll always run when she calls…”
I opened my mouth as I looked at her and then closed it. I could lie to her, but for once I wanted to tell her the truth…I swallowed hard and nodded.
“Yes.”
She shook her head and let out a bitter laugh as a tear slid down her cheek. I wanted to wipe it away, but I stood my ground. I think a part of me cares about Adrian more than I should…I probably always will…she’s the first person who ever loved me because she wanted to…not because she had to, but what we have…it’s wrong for me to lead her on…I really do hate hurting her.
“Then why do we keep doing this? Why do you keep coming back to me?”
“I…I don’t know.”
She nodded.
“Then maybe it’s time this,”
She motioned between us,
“Stopped…”
I swallowed hard again.
“Maybe…”
“Fine, goodbye Ricky…”
I watched her walk out of my room and as she slammed the apartment door closed I flinched. I felt a slight tinge of pain, but I ignored it, walked toward the door and headed toward the drug store.
Present Time
The shifting bed startled me out of my thoughts and I opened an eye to see Amy gently sitting on the bed. She glanced at me and scrunched up her nose.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I tried to be quiet.”
“You didn’t. I haven’t gotten back to sleep yet. What time is it?”
I watched her yawn as she put John down slowly on the bed between us and lay down. She shifted on her side and rubbed her eyes slightly.
“About five.”
I groaned and moved onto my side so I was facing them. I brushed my hand lightly over his head and I could feel it was only slightly warm. The doctor called back last night after I got here and we made an appointment with him for later today just to be safe.
“He seems to be doing better.”
She closed her eyes and nodded.
I pulled my hand back and watched his chest rise and fall.
“I guess it was just a cold.”
I watched her open one eye.
“Ricky…”
“Hmm?”
“Shut up.”
I gave her a startled look and she let out a quiet laugh.
“I’m trying to go back to sleep. If you want to talk to yourself go in John’s room or shut up, close your eyes, and go back to bed.”
I laughed lightly.
“Sorry…Hey Amy…”
She sighed and snuggled further into her pillow. Her voice was muffled by the pillow, but I heard the ‘what.’
“Thanks for calling me last night.”
She turned her head and I could see her eyes soften.
“Thanks for coming.”
I nodded and she smiled before moving closer to John and closing her eyes. I shifted to my back, placed a hand behind my head and closed my eyes. As weird as it is to be laying here sharing a bed with my son and Amy…at the same time…it’s not so weird…it feels almost…natural.
Maybe that’s what made it weird in my mind…oh well I’m not going to over analyze the situation…it is what it is…it works for us and for John and that’s all that matters…
(Amy POV)
I glanced at the ceiling as I listened to the even breathing coming from next to me. I turned my head and glanced over to see Ricky and John both fast asleep. I smiled. If someone had told me five months ago that I’d be sharing a bed with Ricky Underwood I would have said they were crazy…
It wasn’t intentional…it just happened. When Ricky got here last night we spent a couple of hours calming John down and getting him to sleep. Ricky fell asleep in my chair, but he looked so uncomfortable so the next time John woke up, when Ricky picked him up I told him to bring him to the bed.
He did and we wound up falling asleep after getting John to bed. I sighed. I moved carefully and got off the bed as slowly as possible so I wouldn’t wake them up. When I was off the bed and I was sure they were okay I grabbed my robe and headed for the bathroom.
I showered, fixed my hair and makeup and walked back in my room to grab some clothes. As I was going through the closet I heard a grunt come from the bed. I turned and saw Ricky shifting. He scrunched up his nose, rubbed his face, and burrowed his head further into the pillow.
I chuckled lightly and looked back toward my closet. I had just grabbed one of my summer dresses when Ricky’s hoarse voice startled me.
“What are you laughing at?”
I turned, but his face was still in the pillow.
“You?”
“Hmph…what time is it?”
“Seven.”
“Ugh…on a Saturday…it’s my day off…and I’m up at seven in the morning…”
His voice trailed off as he shifted on the bed again.
“Tell me about it. I’m gonna go get dressed. You hungry? I can make some eggs or something.”
He turned his head and glanced at me. I watched his eyes sweep over my body and my cheeks reddened as I pulled the robe tighter against me. He smirked and raised an eyebrow.
“Shower?”
“What?”
“You showered…”
I nodded.
“Oh, yeah. While you were sleeping. You’re welcome to shower too…”
He shook his head.
“Nah it’s okay. I don’t have any clean clothes here. I was thinking since John’s appointment is at 11…after breakfast why don’t you two come home with me, I’ll shower and change and then we can just go straight there…it’ll be easier then me going back and forth…if that’s okay…”
His voice trailed off and I gave him half a smile.
“Sure sounds good. I’m just gonna…”
I motioned to the bathroom and he nodded. I got dressed and went into the kitchen to make eggs and bacon. Okay so I might not be the best cook in the world, but believe it or not Ricky cooks pretty well and he’s been showing me a thing or two.
A half our later Ricky walked into the kitchen with a very awake John. The table was set and Ricky placed John in his high chair before plopping down in one of the seats. He yawned as I brought the pan over and pushed some eggs onto his plate.
I put a plate of bacon and toast on the table and grabbed cups for the orange juice. A couple minutes later we were sitting there with John in between us eating breakfast. I was in the middle of my second forkful of eggs when a plastic spoon hit Ricky in the head.
He frowned for a second trying to figure out what hit his and I had to cover my mouth to keep the eggs from flying out.
“What…”
In between laughs I pointed to John and spoke.
“He…haha…obviously wanted your attention…hahaha”
John was laughing and Ricky gave me a playful glare.
“Oh yeah?”
He tossed the fork at me lightly and it hit me right on the forehead. My mouth opened wide as Johns giggles got louder and Ricky started to chuckle.
“Real mature…”
He rolled his eyes.
“I never claimed to be mature…you’re the mature one in this…thing.”
I shook my head and before I could say anything the kitchen door opened. Ricky and I looked up to see my mom and David walk in. They were in the middle of a conversation, but when they saw the three of us at the table eating they froze. I cleared my throat.
“Morning mom.”
“Amy…hello Ricky.”
“Hi Anne, how are you?”
She nodded.
“I’m doing okay. You’re here early this morning.”
He opened his mouth, but I cut him off.
“John was sick last night. He had a pretty high fever so Ricky got medicine and came over to help me out. I called you…but I guess you were busy.”
I saw concern filter over her face as she came over to look at John. She studied him for a bit before speaking.
“Well he looks like he’s doing okay. You should call his pediatrician though just to be safe.”
“I did. We have an appointment at 11.”
She nodded, glanced at Ricky, and smiled.
“Thanks for being here for Amy and John Ricky.”
“Of course.”
I saw my Mom and David exchange a look and David nodded. My mom smiled at us.
“Well I’m going to go get changed and relax. I had a long day yesterday.”
She walked around us, down the hall, and I heard her bedroom door open. I glanced at David and he smiled and then came and sat at the table with Ricky and me. It was quiet for a few minutes aside from the noises John was making.
David cleared his throat and glanced at Ricky then me.
“Your mother and I were discussing something. Since uh…we’re renovating the big house for the new baby and us…we were thinking that maybe you’d like to stay in the guest house with John. Before you say anything I think you should think about it.”
He took a deep breath and continued.
“I think it would be good for you to start over somewhere new…a new school, a new town. Maybe things will be easier and if you’re staying with us you wouldn’t have to work…you can just focus on school…and John. It’s a nice place and the next time your mother and I go up there we’d like you to come with us.”
I frowned slightly.
“What about Ashley and my dad?”
He shrugged.
“Ashley is more than welcome to come to, but I think she prefers to stay with your dad. The thing is Amy…your mom is probably going to sell this house when we’re done with the renovation. We want to make sure there’s somewhere for you and John to go though. I know how important having your mom around is so we came up with this solution…we can start over…and create a new family…”
I opened my mouth, but before I could say anything Ricky’s voice echoed through the kitchen.
“Amy has a family.”
I glanced at him and I could see his body was tense. If I move in with mom and David and leave here…then we leave Ricky…I swallowed hard as David looked towards Ricky. His smile faded as he gave Ricky a weary look.
“I’m not saying she doesn’t. I’m saying that we’d be willing to support her and help with John. She's going to have a little sibling that I’m sure Anne could use help with too. Anne wants Amy to come with us and I’m trying to make a situation that works for everyone.”
He shook his head.
“No, you’re trying to make a situation that works best for you. This place you guys are renovating…it’s far…”
I nodded.
“That’s what mom said. How far is it David?”
He sighed.
“A few hours…maybe close to three…”
His voice trailed off and I looked back at Ricky. He didn’t look happy. David leaned back in his chair and spoke again.
“This is a good opportunity for Amy and John, Ricky. I can see how stressful it is on both of you to work and go to school and take care of a baby. This way Amy could focus on school and John…and maybe I can even convince Anne to let us get a nanny so that when Amy’s in school she doesn’t have to pay for childcare…don’t you want what’s best for them?”
I watched Ricky’s jaw clench and I felt awful. That was a low blow by David. He seems like a nice guy and all, but I really don’t like him. I could feel Ricky’s anger coming off in waves, but he spoke in an utterly calm voice.
“Of course I want what’s best for Amy and our son…and what’s best for them is to be here…with me…we’re I can help.”
David opened his mouth and I cut him off as I glanced at Ricky and John before looking back at David.
“Ricky’s right David. I appreciate the offer, but my family is here. John deserves to see his father as much as he can…I won’t take that away from Ricky or John…”
He glanced between us and nodded.
“I tried…”
He gave us a tight smile and walked down the hall to talk to my mother. Ricky started gathering up the empty plates and putting them in the sink. I got John’s bag together as I watched him clean up the table. He caught me staring and he raised an eyebrow.
“What?”
I shook my head.
“Nothing…”
It was quiet for a few more minutes before his voice broke the silence.
“Thank you…for turning him down…I know things are hard here…with work, school, and everything, but I’m doing what I can to make it easier…I’m trying…”
My voice was quiet.
“They are hard, you do make things easier, and I know you’re trying…”
He nodded and put the dish towel down. He glanced around and after a couple of seconds his eyes found mine.
“When I was younger…I never…I never really had a family. Not one I could turn to that cared about me…and I just…I don’t ever want that to happen to John. I always want him to have someone he can go to…whether it's you, me, Ashley, your mom or dad, Margaret or my foster dad…I want him to know how much we love him.”
My eyes teared up and I nodded.
“He will…I know that we aren’t in a relationship, but I like to think after everything that’s happened and how far we’ve come that we’re at least friends Ricky…I know I can count on you when it comes to John…you’re here for us…and that’s what a family is.”
I watched him swallow as his eyes grew red.
“No matter how much we fight…or who you’re with or who I’m with…one thing you can always count on is me and John…you’ll always have us. You’ll always have a family…a place to come as long as we’re around…so just…you know. Don’t forget that…”
I could see the emotions on his face as he tried to hold them at bay. He moved closer and slowly pulled me into a hug. I tensed for a second before relaxing against him. The last time he held me like this I was pregnant with John…
“Same goes for you. I know we have our moments and we fight and yell sometimes, but I’m not going anywhere. When all else fails…you can turn to me Amy…I’ve done a lot of shitty things in my life…I’ve disappointed a lot of people, but I won’t disappoint you…or John…”
I nodded against his shoulder.
“I know.”
We stood like that few a few minutes. His arms wrapped around my back, mine around his neck. I breathed in his sent, closed my eyes, and sighed. As he held me a thought flew through my head that shook me to the core…a thought that couldn’t possibly be true…because if it was it would hurt too many people…
A thought that hasn’t flown through my head in close to a year…but one I couldn’t quite push away…with everything that's happening now…Ben not calling for close to a month, Adrian and Ricky fighting, Ricky and I getting along…being comfortable with each other…what if this is the way things are supposed to end up…
What if there’s a reason I got pregnant…What if Ben’s not the guy for me…What if it’s been Ricky all along…
(Adrian POV)
I glanced at my watch as I stood in front of Ricky’s door. 9:15…I’m sure he’s back from Amy’s by now. He might be sleeping…but you know what I don’t care. We need to talk about this…I don’t want to loose him…I was upset last night…maybe we can fix things…or at least compromise…
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. I heard a noise behind the door before the click of the door being unlocked sounded. I smiled, but when the door swung open my smile slowly faded. What the hell is she doing here?
I frowned as she shifted the baby on her hip. I saw her swallow hard before glancing behind her then looking back at me.
“Hi Adrian…”
“Amy…where’s Ricky?”
“Uh…he’s in the shower.”
I pushed the door open wider and she stumbled slightly as the door opened into her. She glared at me as I walked in. She shut the door and switched the baby onto her other hip.
“You could have asked if you could come in instead of pushing the door into me.”
I turned to face her and moved in until she was only a foot or two away from me. My voice was harsh when I spoke.
“Listen up…because I’m only gonna say this once. I don’t need permission from you or anyone else to come into Ricky’s apartment. I know what you’re doing Amy…but he doesn’t love you and he never will.”
She frowned.
“What are you talking about Adrian? There is nothing going on between Ricky and me. I’m tired of defending the fact that he’s there for his son.”
“Whatever…since the summer started all you do is call Ricky. He never has any free time at all anymore and you’re relying on him way too much. Can’t you see how selfish you’re being? He’s tired…he’s working extra hours, he's running back and forth to the nursery, your house, work, the school…just to accommodate you…he’d never say it, but he needs a break…”
I saw her eyes tear up slightly as she held the baby closer to her and kissed his head when he started to fuss. Her voice came out soft.
“Did he say that? Did he say he needed a break…that John was too much for him?”
I rolled my eyes.
“He didn’t have to…I know him. I know him better than anyone…and he needs a break.”
I pointed a finger at her as my voice got louder.
“You need to stop playing this wounded little girl act, because sooner or later Ricky isn’t going to fall for it anymore. It’s ridiculous and pathetic.”
By this time the baby was crying and Amy was bouncing him as she sent a glare my way. I moved closer to her and she took a step back as I motioned toward the baby. I opened my mouth, but before anything could come out a loud voice came from behind me. Well great…this isn’t how things were supposed to go…
(Ricky POV)
I came out of the shower threw on clean boxers and jeans when I heard the yelling. I frowned. What the hell is going on? I walked out of my room hair still went, jeans unbuttoned and no shirt on. What I saw made anger boil inside me.
Amy was backing away from Adrian and even with the glare in her eyes I could see the tears. John was crying in her arms as he grabbed at Amy’s face and Adrian was moving closer as she pointed at Amy. I felt my fists ball and I yelled into the room silencing whatever Adrian was about to say.
“What the hell is going on here?”
Adrian turned slowly in my direction and I saw her sigh. She was quiet as Amy tried to get John to quiet down. I walked toward Amy and John my glare never leaving Adrian. Finally my eyes softened and I looked at John.
“Is he okay?”
I reached out and Amy moved away from me, but nodded.
“I got him…he’s fine.”
Her movements were tense and I turned to face Adrian. My voice was quiet, but hard.
“What did you do?”
She crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged.
“Nothing…”
“Adrian…”
She rolled her eyes.
“I just told her that you deserve some time off…you’ve been working so hard Ricky and I know you’re tired of always running back and forth here and there…and that you needed a break…”
I gave her a look of disbelief…I don’t even know what to say about that…yeah I’ve been stressed lately, but so has Amy…am I tired? Yes…has a lot been going on this summer? Yeah…is it overwhelming at times? Yeah…do I want a break from my son? No…absolutely not.
Amy’s 15…I’m 16…it’s not like anyone said having a baby would be easy…it’s hard and it takes up a lot of time and I don’t have as much time to mess around as I used to but I wouldn’t give John up for anything…I love him.
I shook my head, moved so I was standing next to Amy, who was ignoring me, and spoke, in a hard voice.
“Apologize…”
Adrian looked confused and Amy glanced between us. I motioned to Amy.
“Apologize to her Adrian…apologize for implying that I need a break from my son…you know anytime Amy and I finally work things out where we are on good terms with each other and she’s finally starting to trust me you or Ben or someone else does something to mess it all up…but not this time. Apologize…because that’s not true. I don’t want a break from John.”
She glared at me and looked between me and Amy.
“I’m not apologizing.”
“Fine…then get out. I didn’t invite you here…you came over on your own and I’m busy…with my family.”
I saw the look of hurt that flittered across her face.
“That’s right Adrian…Amy and John are my family. So what if Amy and I aren’t together…John is still the most important person in my life…get used to it because that isn’t going to change. When you’re ready to accept that…and you can apologize to Amy…then you’re more then welcome to come back…I’m tired of fighting with you though…”
I opened my mouth and Amy placed a hand on my arm. Her voice was soft when she spoke and I glanced at her to see John with his head on her shoulder and hand in his mouth.
“Ricky…don’t…”
She motioned to Adrian who had tears in her eyes and I sighed as the anger in me deflated . Adrian gave us one last look before walking to the door, yanking it open and storming out. I care about Adrian, but I’m tired of her not understanding that John’s my son and he’ll always come first.
I thought things ended last night…and at the time I was sad about that, but now I don’t know…when I saw Adrian yelling at Amy…and I saw John crying…there are only a few times I’ve ever been that mad…maybe even though Adrian and I think a like and I always go back to her…maybe she isn’t the girl for me…maybe I really do have feelings for Amy…
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