Chapter 13
“Be My, Be My Baby”
(George POV)
I squatted and frowned at the small wooden end table in front of me as I sanded the top of it. The weather was nice out, but I couldn’t enjoy it because my mind kept drifting back to the other night. I can’t believe my Amy would be stupid enough to let Ricky kiss her.
I know she was upset about Ben…but Ricky…really? I sighed and stood up turning off the sander and blowing some of the dust off of it. It’s not that Ricky’s a bad kid…I mean yeah he got Amy pregnant and trust me we’re still not happy about that, but he’s owned up to his responsibility and he’s been here for Amy and John since the day John was born.
I just don’t like him…I heard a whistle and picked my head up to see Ricky standing on the other side of the wall separating our house from the one that Ashley and I used to live in. He waved slightly.
“Howdy neighbor.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You moving in too?”
He made a face.
“No, I came over here with Ashley to double check that she had everything because Adrian and her parents are moving in today…besides I just always wanted to say howdy neighbor.”
He grinned and I nodded. I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. On one hand I wanted to pound the kid into the ground for kissing my Amy…even after everything that’s happened…for even thinking that he had the right to pursue her…
He obviously never learns from his mistakes…on the other hand would it be such a bad thing for John’s parents to be together?
“Wanna help me?”
“I doubt I can help you. I need help myself.”
He’s not kidding.
“Get over here.”
He nodded, hoped up, and climbed over the wall. I eyed him and shook my head.
“You know there’s a gate.”
“I didn’t know.”
It was quiet for a minute before I spoke.
“So is your girlfriend getting all moved in?”
He sighed.
“Adrian and I aren’t together anymore, but yeah I guess she’s getting all moved in, but your ex-girlfriend’s flying this week so she’s not around.”
I glared at him.
“Who asked you?”
“No one, I just thought I’d let you know.”
No he just thought he’d point out some of my mistakes so I’d cut him some slack. He thinks maybe if he shows that I’m not perfect them maybe I won’t care if he dates Amy…he’s wrong though. My daughter deserves better than me…or him…
“Why’s that?”
He swallowed hard.
“I don’t know.”
I gave him a slight glare.
“You do know…you just thought you’d point out that I’ve made a few mistakes.”
He sighed.
“I was just pointing out one mistake. I didn’t know there were a few mistakes.”
See…never learns.
“Why would you be pointing out my flaws? You have a few of your own you know.”
“Yeah…I know…sorry.”
He looked at the ground and I felt bad for getting an attitude with him. I know why he pointed out my flaws…he cares about Amy and things have been weird ever since I caught the two of them kissing. He genuinely cares about her and I’m not sure who that scares more…me or him…
I eyed him up and down and his whole body seemed tense despite the fact that he seemed anything but angry. I let out a breath and took a moment to really look at him. He’s trying…anyone can see that. Maybe it’s time for me to try to get along with him too…I cleared my throat.
“Something tells me someone’s not…having sex…too close to the mother of your baby to maintain a relationship with you girlfriend?”
He cringed slightly.
“No, it isn’t like that…I already told you Adrian and I aren’t together anymore. Adrian wants a commitment.”
I frowned.
“A commitment…what kind of a commitment?”
“She wants to know that I might marry her one day and have children with her.”
“One day soon?”
He shook his head.
“Just one day.”
I shrugged.
“Anything’s possible right? You can marry her one day and have children with her one day. Adrian’s a nice girl.”
He put a hand in his pocket and started gesturing with his hand as he spoke.
“You don’t understand. I’m not gonna make some promise I can’t keep just so I can…you know. I know that’s the kind of guy everyone thinks I am, but it’s not true…or at least it isn’t anymore. She really cares about me and I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”
I nodded. That’s understandable reasoning, but what I’m really curious about is the reason he doesn’t see them together in the future…does it have to do with Amy?
“I know you aren’t like that Ricky, but it’s not a promise is it? She’s not looking to get engaged or something?”
“I don’t think so. She just wanted to know that there was a possibility that we had some kind of future together.”
I looked down and took a deep breath. It’s now or never. I looked back up at him and swallowed hard before speaking.
“Sounds reasonable…I don’t really see why you found the need to break up with her…unless of course you think you have some kind of future with Amy…”
I let the sentence trail off and his head shot up. He opened his mouth a few times before closing it and looking away from me. I rubbed the back of my neck and closed my eyes briefly before opening them. He was watching me carefully.
“It is isn’t it? The reason you broke up with Adrian is because of Amy?”
He started to shake his head and I glared at him.
“Don’t lie to me. What’s the worst that can happen if you tell me the truth? Really Ricky?”
His eye met mine and I could see the pent up emotion in them.
“You could try to keep me away from my family…”
I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.
“No, don’t say anything. I know you aren’t mean or out to get me or anything like that. I appreciate how you and Anne tolerate me being around all the time. I know I’m not your favorite person. I’m pretty sure though, that we’ve all come to an understanding…you’re John’s family and so am I…and in some twisted way that makes us all family…right?”
I nodded.
“Sure.”
“Right…but make no mistake about it, you’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not good enough for her…and I know you’d do anything to protect your family…because I would too.”
He was quiet as he looked away from me and kicked at the dirt a few times. How am I supposed to stay pissed at him when he acts like a lost little kid? Sometimes I forget that Ricky grew up the way he did…that every step he takes to open himself up is a step in the right direction.
I just didn’t realize that all this time he was doing what he could to be a better man for Amy…hell I don’t even think he knew at first…I nodded and moved to sit on the porch step. I motioned for him to join me and he did.
“Ricky…you’re not a bad guy…I just…I don’t want Amy to be involved with someone that doesn’t love her. She’s been through a lot…I don’t want my baby getting hurt again and I’m not sure you care about her the way you should.”
I saw his jaw clench, but he nodded.
“I get that…and I understand why you’d think that, but you’re wrong. I just…I’m afraid that if I tell Amy how I feel...it will change things. What happens if we get together and things don’t work out? Will that effect the time I get to spend with John? Will it mean that Amy and I won’t be able to be friends? Will we be those parents that fight all the time? Because I don’t want that. Things are going to be hard enough for John as it is having us for parents.”
He shrugged before continuing.
“I don’t want to ruin what we have. I know you guys don’t think I’m good enough for her…but I’m trying. I’ve been trying, but I’m worried and I don’t know what to do.”
He turned his head and looked at me and for the first time I could see how much Amy meant to him and I didn’t have the heart to tell him to stay away from her. If Amy feels the same way about him that he feels about her…then I won’t stand in their way…much…
“It’s hard Ricky…I get that. You’re not in an easy situation.”
“I’m just so confused. How do you know when you’re with the right person?”
I chuckled lightly and smiled at him.
“There is no right person. There’s just a person and if that’s the person you want to be with and have a family with then be with that person, but if you don’t want to be with that person then don’t be with that person. It’s not that complicated.”
“Maybe not for you, but for me it’s extremely complicated. You know my history, it affects everything I do. I have to think about everything I do. I can’t just be with someone because I want to be with them…I might not want to be with them three days later…”
I shrugged.
“Sometimes it’s not even three hours later.”
He looked startled.
“Come on son, you’re not that much more complicated than the rest of us. My dad didn’t abuse me, but he wasn’t around to abuse me. I learned everything know about being a great dad from Leave it to Beaver. I just stepped it up a notch.”
He gave me half a smile and I sighed. I might as well let him at least know I’m proud of how far he’s come…
“Look, if I haven’t said this, I respect what you’re doing. Trying to leave a different legacy for your son that’s better than the one you were given.”
He nodded.
“But…”
I shook my head.
“No, buts about it I respect that. There are things I like about you. Like that…I can’t say I’m crazy about you kissing Amy, but I know you really care about her. And if she’s willing to give you a chance…then I am too.”
I saw his mouth form a sincere smile, not a smirk for once, before he spoke.
“What don’t you like about me?”
I gave him a sideways glance.
“Your thick gorgeous hair…I used to have hair like that when I was young…when I met Anne. When Anne and I got pregnant with Amy….”
I trailed off and Ricky laughed. I heard the door open and then Amy’s voice called out.
“Dad, I can’t find John’s bouncy seat did you move it? Because that’s really not…oh…”
Ricky and I turned so we were facing her and she glanced between us. I watched as she moved a piece of hair behind her ear and swallowed hard.
“Ricky…hi.”
I glanced at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were on her. He smiled.
“Hey Amy.”
Her eyes flew to mine and I could see the slight panic on her face.
“What are you two doing out here? Alone…”
Ricky looked at me and I nodded in his direction. He got up and brushed his pants off before speaking.
“I was just helping your dad out with something. So…you mentioned John’s bouncy seat? It’s gone.”
“Y...yeah…”
Oh god…it’s the nervous stuttering…she likes him…
“Come on I’ll help you find it.”
She looked at me and I smiled.
“Go ahead. I have some more work to do out here.”
She nodded and they headed inside. Oh jeez…I have a pretty good feeling that by the end of the year those two are going to be together…and I’m going to lose more hair…
(Ricky POV)
I followed Amy inside the house and closed the door behind me. I noticed how she looked everywhere, but at me. We need to figure this out…we might as well do it now. I cleared my throat and approached her.
“Amy…”
“Hmm.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Amy, can you stop what you’re doing and look at me.”
I heard her let out a heavy sigh as she turned around to face me. I gave her a small smile.
“We can’t ignore it…or it’ll probably get more awkward.”
She nodded, pushed a stray hair behind her ear, and crossed her arms across her chest.
“You kissed me.”
Her statement startled me and I raised an eyebrow at her.
“You kissed me back.”
She bit her lip and I saw the bravado slip from her features. She shrugged.
“We kissed…and the past four days have been weird.”
I nodded. She moved to the kitchen table and sat down. I sat in the seat across from her as I tried to read her facial expression.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
I snorted.
“You’re telling me?”
“What are we going to do about it Ricky?”
I looked into her worried eyes and I swallowed hard. I think it’s very possible that I could love Amy. After talking to George…things got…well less confusing. I think maybe it’s time to take the next step. To lay myself out there and see what happens.
“Okay…I have to tell you something, but I need you to promise you won’t say anything until I’m finished.”
She gave me a slight frown, but nodded.
“I promise.”
“You and I have been through a lot since you got pregnant. I know that I wasn’t really a permanent fixture in your life until after John was born, but I have tried to be since then. We’re going through all the same things that first time parents go through on top of being teenagers.”
She nodded and I took a breath before continuing.
“We’ve gotten close and I’m not sure when it happened, but I care about you. I’m sorry that you’re hurting because Ben broke up with you, but I’m glad he’s gone. No, you promised. I just mean…what I’m trying to say is…Amy…I like you and…I don’t just want to be your friend anymore…I want you, John and I…to be a family…a real family…”
My voice trailed off and she stared at me. Her eyes were wide and she looked shocked. Probably not used to me putting my feelings out there…well that makes two of us. A minute passed and she didn’t say anything, just stared in my direction.
“Uh, I’m done…you can talk now.”
She shook herself out of her stupor and opened her mouth before closing it again.
“You what?”
“I like you.”
“You like me?”
I looked at my hands and shook my head.
“Why is this so difficult for you to get? I care about you Amy…”
Her voice was soft when she spoke.
“I care about you too.”
I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.
“You do?”
She laughed lightly and nodded.
“You sound surprised.”
I shrugged.
“I wasn’t really sure how you felt…plus I’m sort of…uncomfortable with this conversation.”
She grinned at me.
“Okay…so let’s not have this conversation.”
Now I’m confused. My brows furrowed as I looked at her and she scooted her chair closer to me.
“You care about me…I care about you. We’re both single...maybe we should just see where things take us. I know you aren’t good with the emotional stuff, but I also know if you’re here…telling me you like me it’s because you want to try.”
I nodded and took her hand in mine. I felt her entwine our fingers and I glanced down at them as I spoke.
“Yeah…I’m not saying I’ll be great at it…I’m saying I want a chance.”
When I felt her hand squeeze mine I looked up at her and her face was serious.
“It isn’t going to be a 123 thing…it’ll take time.”
I nodded.
“I also think to be fair I have to tell you I’m not ready for sex again yet…”
Her voice trailed off and I swallowed hard.
“I’d never pressure you.”
“I know.”
She was quiet and I gave her a small smirk.
“Let’s start now.”
She frowned.
“Start what now?”
I stood up and pulled her with me.
“Why don’t you get John ready and we’ll take that trip to the park we never made it to last week.”
A smile broke out on her face and I was relieved to see I’d done something right. So far Ricky one relationship zero.
“That’s a great idea. Okay, you find his bouncy chair and I’ll go get him ready.”
I nodded as she took off down the hall to her room. I watched her with a smile. I think there’s an actual shot that this might work out…
(Amy POV)
I was just finishing up changing John when I heard yelling coming from my mom’s room. I frowned. What in the world…I picked John up and carried him out to the kitchen. Ricky was standing there, John’s bouncy seat at his feet and Ashley had just walked through the kitchen door.
“What’s going on? Is that mom?”
I nodded and glanced at Ricky.
“Can you take him for a second while we see what’s going on?”
“Sure.”
I handed John to Ricky and Ashley and I headed towards my mom’s room. We walked in and I go see the panic on dad’s face. My mom was sitting on the bed breathing heavy and they barely noticed us. I brow creased as I spoke.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m having a baby.”
They spoke at the same time. I turned toward Ashley and she had a worried look on her face. My mom grabbed her stomach, gritted her teeth, and yelled.
“Ahhh.”
I swallowed hard. I reached out and touched her shoulder.
“Mom…mom breath…breath…it’ll help with the pain.”
My dad was calling Moose and my mom glared at him.
“George why don’t you just call 911?”
“I’ll call them.”
Mom looked at Ashley and nodded.
“Thank you Ashley.”
Ashley ran out of the room and mom smiled up at me and dad.
“I think this is really it. I think he’s really coming…”
My dad tried to reach down and pull my mom up, but she shook her head.
“Come on I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
“We don’t have time. I can’t make it to the hospital.”
I glanced at my dad and saw the worry on his face deepen.
“Come on try, try, just lean on me. Just…let’s get in the car.”
I nodded.
“Yeah mom, you don’t want to have the baby here.”
“I don’t want to, but I think I’m going to.”
Another contraction must have hit because she squeezed my hand and screamed. My dad looked panicked again as he spoke.
“Okay…okay just…stay in the bed and everything will be fine.”
I glared at him slightly.
“No it won’t! She needs a doctor and a couple of nurses. Mom do not lay down we have to get you to the car. We have to get you to the hospital.”
She was sweating and she looked so tired. I couldn’t help, but think a few months back that’s exactly how I looked. Her voice broke through my thoughts.
“But Amy I can’t…the baby is coming right now.”
I saw mom grimace again and then Ashley ran back into the room. She swallowed hard before speaking.
“We have a slight problem. Evidently 911 says we’ve cried wolf too many times.”
My mom’s eyes widened.
“George…”
I saw my dad’s facial expression change. He straightened up and spoke in a commanding voice.
“Okay girls, get on either side of your mother and hold her hands. I’m gonna have to deliver this baby.”
Ashley and I looked at him, then each other and started cracking up. Our laughs echoed through the room and he glared at us. Mom didn’t look too convinced as he yelled at us.
“Do it!”
We moved around to sit with mom and she took our hands before looking up at him and talking.
“George can you really do this? Can you really deliver the baby with one hand?”
He nodded.
“I can do this with both hands tied behind my back. You just get ready to push.”
Ashley and I laughed and my mom squeezed our hands lightly.
“Come on guys don’t make me laugh.”
I nodded and my dad got that determined look on his face.
“Come on we can do this, we can…we have to.”
I looked away from dad to Ashley and then mom. He’s right…we can do this…we’re a family and families are there for each other…I just hope everything turns out okay….
(Ben POV)
I sighed as I leaned back in the dentist’s chair. You know maybe getting this chair from Betty wasn’t such a bad idea…it is kind of comfortable. There was a knock on my door. I sighed before opening my eyes. The sight in front of me startled me. I sat up quickly.
“Adrian…hey, what are you doing here?”
She shrugged lightly.
“Your dad let me in…can I come in?”
I nodded and got off the chair.
“What’s up?”
She sat on my bed and crossed her legs.
“Nothing. I’m moving into George’s old house today, Rubens there now unpacking.”
I smiled.
“That’s exciting right?”
She nodded and I frowned. Adrian is usually never this quiet. I know Ricky broke up with her a few days ago and I know she’s been taking it pretty hard, but there’s got to be something else…this just isn’t like her. I blew out a deep breath and sat down next to her.
“What’s going on Adrian? Is everything okay?”
She shook her head and I opened my mouth to say something, but she cleared her throat and cut me off.
“You seem happy for someone who just broke up with his girlfriend.”
I hesitated before speaking.
“Not happy…just…relieved I guess. Things haven’t been going good for Amy and I for a while and I’m not sure that I’m really in love with her…and…”
She cut me off.
“And you met someone in Italy.”
I watched her watching me. I sighed and nodded.
“And I met someone in Italy…”
She nodded and gave me half a smile.
“I knew.”
I frowned.
“How?”
She rolled her eyes and turned her body so she was facing me.
“You’re not that hard to read Ben…did you cheat on Amy?”
I turned away from Adrian and spoke quickly.
“I didn’t have sex in Italy.”
I stood up and leaned against the wall across from her. She crossed her arms over her chest before speaking.
“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you cheated on her. There’s more than one way to cheat Ben…”
I glanced around the room before my eyes finally rested on Adrian. I nodded.
“I met this girl in Italy…and she’s…amazing…I I think I fell for her. It was when Amy and I were fighting a lot and then…well I just decided to enjoy my vacation and I stopped calling…and since then I just don’t know anymore…I can’t love Amy and some other girl at the same time…can I?”
She glared at me slightly, but her voice was calm.
“No, you can’t.”
I pursed my lips together and nodded.
“Yeah…I didn’t think so. She’s coming here…”
Adrian’s eyes widened and she sat up straight.
“The Italy girl?”
“Yea.”
“Is that why you broke up with Amy?”
“Part of the reason. I just don’t know what I want anymore and it’s not fair to string Amy along while I try to figure it out.”
She leaned back on my bed and nodded.
“That makes sense. When’s she coming?”
“This summer.”
“Wow…soon.”
“Yeah.”
I moved away from the wall and lay on my back next to Adrian. I stared at the ceiling and I heard her take a deep breath. I swallowed hard.
“So what’s really going on Adrian? You know you’re always welcome here…we’re friends, but you don’t usually just show up…talk to me.”
Her voice was quiet but I could hear the slight quaver in it as she spoke.
“I think…I think I might be pregnant…with Ricky’s baby…”
Her voice trailed off and I shot up into a sitting position and looked down at her my eyes wide and mouth open. It was one of the first times I’ve ever seen Adrian look so vulnerable. She sat up slowly and a tear slid sown her cheek.
I wrapped a friendly arm around her as she cried. Pregnant...I can’t believe this…what’s going to happen is she really is pregnant with Ricky’s baby? This is ridiculous...If I didn’t hate Ricky before I certainly hate him now…
(Ricky POV)
I paced back and forth with John in my arms. What’s taking so long…I hope Anne’s okay…When’s the doctor gonna get here? When Amy came out of her mother’s room a little earlier to grab some things from the kitchen she told me Anne was in labor and they couldn’t get an ambulance here.
So, when Amy went back in the room to help Ashley and her dad I called the doctor directly and convinced her it was the real thing and she said she’d be over as soon as she could. That was a little over a half hour ago. When she got here I let her and took her to Anne’s room.
That was about twenty minutes ago and still no one came out. I was just starting another round of pacing when the door opened. I froze and Amy walked out with tears in her eyes. I moved toward her and opened my mouth, but she cut me off.
“I have a baby brother…”
She smiled and I grinned. John has an uncle…
“How’s your mom?”
“The doctor’s checking her out, but everything seems good.”
Ashley made her way out of the room and looked between me and Amy. She gave me a small smirk and walked past us towards the kitchen. When I felt Amy touch my arm I turned my attention back to her and raised an eyebrow.
“I’m gonna go help Ashley.”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
I watched her walk away and glanced down at a sleeping John. I heard a noise and I looked up to see George coming out of the room with a baby in his arms. He glanced over at me and his smile was wide. God…I remember when John was that small…I was terrifies to hold him at first. Is wallowed hard.
“Is that him?”
“Yup…Robert Scott Juergens.”
I walked over and George titled his arms slightly so I could see the baby. I gave George and honest smile.
“He’s beautiful.”
“Thanks. My little grandson’s out cold huh?”
I laughed.
“Yeah, he passed out about twenty minutes ago. I just didn’t feel like putting him down.”
He nodded.
“I get that. He Robbie…look here…open those eyes and meet some more of your family.”
His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me and John. I smiled and waved the baby and George chuckled before speaking in a soft voice.
“This is your nephew John…yeah…and this is Ricky…say hi to Ricky.”
The baby’s eyes were on George and so were mine. Did he just call me family? When he noticed I was staring at him he stopped talking to Robbie and looked at me.
“What?”
“You said…you told Robbie to meet his family…”
He nodded.
“Yeah.”
“You…included me.”
He gave me a tired half smile.
“Ricky I told you earlier today…I might not like certain things about you, but you’ve changed…and you’re a good guy. Whether you and Amy get together or don’t, you’ll always have a family here.”
I felt water pool in my eyes and I had to look away for a minute. I hate when I get all emotional like this…I just…I can’t help it. I’ve never had this before…and the part of me that’s always wished I did…is finally happy I think…
I cleared my throat to try and get rid of all the emotion in it.
“Thanks George.”
He patted me on the back.
“No problem. Why don’t you get that kid of yours to bed…I wanna spend a little quality time with my son.”
I nodded and headed towards John’s nursery. You know…I think for once everything in my life is going good…maybe I really can be happy with Amy and John…maybe we can even have a real family…
(Amy POV)
I spent a good half-hour helping Ashley out and making sure mom had everything she needed before heading towards my room. I sighed as I walked down the hallway. Today’s been a long day…I just want to curl up in bed and sleep.
I pushed open my door and raised an eyebrow. Ricky was lying on my bed against the headboard, eyes closed, legs stretched out, and arms behind his head. I cleared my throat and his eyes opened slowly. He smirked. I motioned to my bed.
“You’re in my bed.”
“I’m tired.”
I snorted and walked further into the room.
“So go stretch out on your own bed. I’ve had a long day and I’m exhausted.”
He moved over a little and patted the spot next to him.
“There’s room for you.”
I hesitated. The last time I was in bed with Ricky, John was sick and between us…I wasn’t sure this was the best idea. I mean yeah I like Ricky…I think that much is obvious, but Ben and I just broke up and I’m not sure I’m 100 percent over that yet.
Ricky held out his hand and I slowly climbed onto the bed next to him. I sat there looking at him and his brows furrowed.
“What?”
I shook my head. My voice came out softer than I intended it to.
“Nothing.”
I shifted and leaned against the headboard next to him. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest as he looked at me. He leaned towards me slightly and cupped my cheek. He moved his face in, but stopped right before he closed the distance between our lips. His voice was soft and I could feel his breath against my lips.
“If you don’t want me to kiss you…stop me…”
His voice trailed off, but I was frozen. I couldn’t move away from him. He closed the distance between us and his lips were on mine. They were soft and warm, hard and unyielding. They felt amazing on mine. I moved my body closer to his, reached up and deepened the kiss.
His arm wound around my waist pulling me on top of him. I could feel myself straddling, a hand stroking my back as I ran my fingers through his hair. After a few minutes we broke apart and his lips traveled to my neck. Oh god…I haven’t felt this good since…since the last time I was with Ricky…
When we made John…my eyes snapped open and I moved away from his roaming lips. When he felt me pulling away he leaned back looking slightly ruffled. There was confusion in his dazed eyes and I swallowed hard. We’re not even together and I almost lost control of the situation.
This is why I’m terrified of being with Ricky…he makes me feels things that I can’t even understand…Ben never made me feel this way…like he was air…like I needed him…His voice interrupted my thoughts.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and moved off of him until I was sitting next to him, legs crossed, looking in his direction.
“I can’t do this.”
He nodded.
“Okay…it’s no big deal…we don’t need to have sex Amy…I can…I can wait until you’re ready.”
I looked away from him to try and control my emotions. When I glanced back up there were tears in my eyes.
“No, I mean…I can’t do this…”
I motioned between us and I saw him freeze.
“Amy…”
“No…Ricky…look at what almost happened! If I didn’t stop things…who knows where they would have went? I can’t control myself around you…this…this was a bad idea.”
I went to get up, but he stopped me.
“Amy please…listen…I’m bad at this okay…I just wanted to kiss you…I wasn’t trying to get you to sleep with me…we just don’t seem to be able to stop at the kissing part…which well technically is kinda hot…”
His voice trailed off and I glared at him. He shook his head and gave me sheepish grin.
“Sorry…what I mean is this is new for both of us. You’re right though…things need to go slow…so how about…we just lay here. I’ll stay and help you with John tonight. We can try and get to know each other better…you know we used to be good at the talking thing back in band camp…come on…”
I saw the pleading look in his eye and I let out a heavy sigh.
“Okay…”
He relaxed back on the bed and I let him pull me into his arms. I rested my head on his chest and his body was tense. A few minutes later he relaxed and his voice broke into the silence.
“We good?”
I nodded against him.
“We’re good. Ricky…I’m sorry I freaked out.”
He chuckled and I felt his chest vibrate against me.
“I’m kinda shocked it was you who freaked out and not me…maybe I’m growing up.”
I laughed and slapped him gently.
“Mmm doubtful.”
For the first time in a long time I felt relaxed and happy. I’ve spent months being a bitch to everyone. Having an attitude and pushing people away. Being the complete opposite of the kind of person I am and I think now is definitely the time to make some changes…
“I’m sorry for everything I put you through these past few months…and the rest of my family too. I’ve been so unpleasant…and I haven’t really taken the time to enjoy my time with John…but…I think it’s time for a change…I can’t keep living like this…I’m tired of always being angry.”
He took a deep breath before speaking.
“I think that’s a good idea…I think the three of us need to spend more time together…I know I haven’t been the best guy Amy…but I’m gonna be better for you. I know you don’t think you can trust me…but I’m gonna prove you can.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. I moved closer to him and he tightened his arms around me. I could feel his breath evening out and a let out a content sigh. Things will never be the way they were before I had John…but just because things aren’t the same it doesn’t mean they can’t be better.
It’s going to take time, but at least from here on out I’ll never be alone because that day in the hospital…a family was born…my family…and even though it’s thrown my life upside down and I’ve been complaining a lot…I wouldn’t change it for the world…
LOOK FOR THE SEQUEL “The Start of Something New”, IN JANUARY
“Be My, Be My Baby”
(George POV)
I squatted and frowned at the small wooden end table in front of me as I sanded the top of it. The weather was nice out, but I couldn’t enjoy it because my mind kept drifting back to the other night. I can’t believe my Amy would be stupid enough to let Ricky kiss her.
I know she was upset about Ben…but Ricky…really? I sighed and stood up turning off the sander and blowing some of the dust off of it. It’s not that Ricky’s a bad kid…I mean yeah he got Amy pregnant and trust me we’re still not happy about that, but he’s owned up to his responsibility and he’s been here for Amy and John since the day John was born.
I just don’t like him…I heard a whistle and picked my head up to see Ricky standing on the other side of the wall separating our house from the one that Ashley and I used to live in. He waved slightly.
“Howdy neighbor.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You moving in too?”
He made a face.
“No, I came over here with Ashley to double check that she had everything because Adrian and her parents are moving in today…besides I just always wanted to say howdy neighbor.”
He grinned and I nodded. I wasn’t sure how to handle the situation. On one hand I wanted to pound the kid into the ground for kissing my Amy…even after everything that’s happened…for even thinking that he had the right to pursue her…
He obviously never learns from his mistakes…on the other hand would it be such a bad thing for John’s parents to be together?
“Wanna help me?”
“I doubt I can help you. I need help myself.”
He’s not kidding.
“Get over here.”
He nodded, hoped up, and climbed over the wall. I eyed him and shook my head.
“You know there’s a gate.”
“I didn’t know.”
It was quiet for a minute before I spoke.
“So is your girlfriend getting all moved in?”
He sighed.
“Adrian and I aren’t together anymore, but yeah I guess she’s getting all moved in, but your ex-girlfriend’s flying this week so she’s not around.”
I glared at him.
“Who asked you?”
“No one, I just thought I’d let you know.”
No he just thought he’d point out some of my mistakes so I’d cut him some slack. He thinks maybe if he shows that I’m not perfect them maybe I won’t care if he dates Amy…he’s wrong though. My daughter deserves better than me…or him…
“Why’s that?”
He swallowed hard.
“I don’t know.”
I gave him a slight glare.
“You do know…you just thought you’d point out that I’ve made a few mistakes.”
He sighed.
“I was just pointing out one mistake. I didn’t know there were a few mistakes.”
See…never learns.
“Why would you be pointing out my flaws? You have a few of your own you know.”
“Yeah…I know…sorry.”
He looked at the ground and I felt bad for getting an attitude with him. I know why he pointed out my flaws…he cares about Amy and things have been weird ever since I caught the two of them kissing. He genuinely cares about her and I’m not sure who that scares more…me or him…
I eyed him up and down and his whole body seemed tense despite the fact that he seemed anything but angry. I let out a breath and took a moment to really look at him. He’s trying…anyone can see that. Maybe it’s time for me to try to get along with him too…I cleared my throat.
“Something tells me someone’s not…having sex…too close to the mother of your baby to maintain a relationship with you girlfriend?”
He cringed slightly.
“No, it isn’t like that…I already told you Adrian and I aren’t together anymore. Adrian wants a commitment.”
I frowned.
“A commitment…what kind of a commitment?”
“She wants to know that I might marry her one day and have children with her.”
“One day soon?”
He shook his head.
“Just one day.”
I shrugged.
“Anything’s possible right? You can marry her one day and have children with her one day. Adrian’s a nice girl.”
He put a hand in his pocket and started gesturing with his hand as he spoke.
“You don’t understand. I’m not gonna make some promise I can’t keep just so I can…you know. I know that’s the kind of guy everyone thinks I am, but it’s not true…or at least it isn’t anymore. She really cares about me and I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”
I nodded. That’s understandable reasoning, but what I’m really curious about is the reason he doesn’t see them together in the future…does it have to do with Amy?
“I know you aren’t like that Ricky, but it’s not a promise is it? She’s not looking to get engaged or something?”
“I don’t think so. She just wanted to know that there was a possibility that we had some kind of future together.”
I looked down and took a deep breath. It’s now or never. I looked back up at him and swallowed hard before speaking.
“Sounds reasonable…I don’t really see why you found the need to break up with her…unless of course you think you have some kind of future with Amy…”
I let the sentence trail off and his head shot up. He opened his mouth a few times before closing it and looking away from me. I rubbed the back of my neck and closed my eyes briefly before opening them. He was watching me carefully.
“It is isn’t it? The reason you broke up with Adrian is because of Amy?”
He started to shake his head and I glared at him.
“Don’t lie to me. What’s the worst that can happen if you tell me the truth? Really Ricky?”
His eye met mine and I could see the pent up emotion in them.
“You could try to keep me away from my family…”
I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.
“No, don’t say anything. I know you aren’t mean or out to get me or anything like that. I appreciate how you and Anne tolerate me being around all the time. I know I’m not your favorite person. I’m pretty sure though, that we’ve all come to an understanding…you’re John’s family and so am I…and in some twisted way that makes us all family…right?”
I nodded.
“Sure.”
“Right…but make no mistake about it, you’ve made it pretty clear that I’m not good enough for her…and I know you’d do anything to protect your family…because I would too.”
He was quiet as he looked away from me and kicked at the dirt a few times. How am I supposed to stay pissed at him when he acts like a lost little kid? Sometimes I forget that Ricky grew up the way he did…that every step he takes to open himself up is a step in the right direction.
I just didn’t realize that all this time he was doing what he could to be a better man for Amy…hell I don’t even think he knew at first…I nodded and moved to sit on the porch step. I motioned for him to join me and he did.
“Ricky…you’re not a bad guy…I just…I don’t want Amy to be involved with someone that doesn’t love her. She’s been through a lot…I don’t want my baby getting hurt again and I’m not sure you care about her the way you should.”
I saw his jaw clench, but he nodded.
“I get that…and I understand why you’d think that, but you’re wrong. I just…I’m afraid that if I tell Amy how I feel...it will change things. What happens if we get together and things don’t work out? Will that effect the time I get to spend with John? Will it mean that Amy and I won’t be able to be friends? Will we be those parents that fight all the time? Because I don’t want that. Things are going to be hard enough for John as it is having us for parents.”
He shrugged before continuing.
“I don’t want to ruin what we have. I know you guys don’t think I’m good enough for her…but I’m trying. I’ve been trying, but I’m worried and I don’t know what to do.”
He turned his head and looked at me and for the first time I could see how much Amy meant to him and I didn’t have the heart to tell him to stay away from her. If Amy feels the same way about him that he feels about her…then I won’t stand in their way…much…
“It’s hard Ricky…I get that. You’re not in an easy situation.”
“I’m just so confused. How do you know when you’re with the right person?”
I chuckled lightly and smiled at him.
“There is no right person. There’s just a person and if that’s the person you want to be with and have a family with then be with that person, but if you don’t want to be with that person then don’t be with that person. It’s not that complicated.”
“Maybe not for you, but for me it’s extremely complicated. You know my history, it affects everything I do. I have to think about everything I do. I can’t just be with someone because I want to be with them…I might not want to be with them three days later…”
I shrugged.
“Sometimes it’s not even three hours later.”
He looked startled.
“Come on son, you’re not that much more complicated than the rest of us. My dad didn’t abuse me, but he wasn’t around to abuse me. I learned everything know about being a great dad from Leave it to Beaver. I just stepped it up a notch.”
He gave me half a smile and I sighed. I might as well let him at least know I’m proud of how far he’s come…
“Look, if I haven’t said this, I respect what you’re doing. Trying to leave a different legacy for your son that’s better than the one you were given.”
He nodded.
“But…”
I shook my head.
“No, buts about it I respect that. There are things I like about you. Like that…I can’t say I’m crazy about you kissing Amy, but I know you really care about her. And if she’s willing to give you a chance…then I am too.”
I saw his mouth form a sincere smile, not a smirk for once, before he spoke.
“What don’t you like about me?”
I gave him a sideways glance.
“Your thick gorgeous hair…I used to have hair like that when I was young…when I met Anne. When Anne and I got pregnant with Amy….”
I trailed off and Ricky laughed. I heard the door open and then Amy’s voice called out.
“Dad, I can’t find John’s bouncy seat did you move it? Because that’s really not…oh…”
Ricky and I turned so we were facing her and she glanced between us. I watched as she moved a piece of hair behind her ear and swallowed hard.
“Ricky…hi.”
I glanced at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were on her. He smiled.
“Hey Amy.”
Her eyes flew to mine and I could see the slight panic on her face.
“What are you two doing out here? Alone…”
Ricky looked at me and I nodded in his direction. He got up and brushed his pants off before speaking.
“I was just helping your dad out with something. So…you mentioned John’s bouncy seat? It’s gone.”
“Y...yeah…”
Oh god…it’s the nervous stuttering…she likes him…
“Come on I’ll help you find it.”
She looked at me and I smiled.
“Go ahead. I have some more work to do out here.”
She nodded and they headed inside. Oh jeez…I have a pretty good feeling that by the end of the year those two are going to be together…and I’m going to lose more hair…
(Ricky POV)
I followed Amy inside the house and closed the door behind me. I noticed how she looked everywhere, but at me. We need to figure this out…we might as well do it now. I cleared my throat and approached her.
“Amy…”
“Hmm.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Amy, can you stop what you’re doing and look at me.”
I heard her let out a heavy sigh as she turned around to face me. I gave her a small smile.
“We can’t ignore it…or it’ll probably get more awkward.”
She nodded, pushed a stray hair behind her ear, and crossed her arms across her chest.
“You kissed me.”
Her statement startled me and I raised an eyebrow at her.
“You kissed me back.”
She bit her lip and I saw the bravado slip from her features. She shrugged.
“We kissed…and the past four days have been weird.”
I nodded. She moved to the kitchen table and sat down. I sat in the seat across from her as I tried to read her facial expression.
“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
I snorted.
“You’re telling me?”
“What are we going to do about it Ricky?”
I looked into her worried eyes and I swallowed hard. I think it’s very possible that I could love Amy. After talking to George…things got…well less confusing. I think maybe it’s time to take the next step. To lay myself out there and see what happens.
“Okay…I have to tell you something, but I need you to promise you won’t say anything until I’m finished.”
She gave me a slight frown, but nodded.
“I promise.”
“You and I have been through a lot since you got pregnant. I know that I wasn’t really a permanent fixture in your life until after John was born, but I have tried to be since then. We’re going through all the same things that first time parents go through on top of being teenagers.”
She nodded and I took a breath before continuing.
“We’ve gotten close and I’m not sure when it happened, but I care about you. I’m sorry that you’re hurting because Ben broke up with you, but I’m glad he’s gone. No, you promised. I just mean…what I’m trying to say is…Amy…I like you and…I don’t just want to be your friend anymore…I want you, John and I…to be a family…a real family…”
My voice trailed off and she stared at me. Her eyes were wide and she looked shocked. Probably not used to me putting my feelings out there…well that makes two of us. A minute passed and she didn’t say anything, just stared in my direction.
“Uh, I’m done…you can talk now.”
She shook herself out of her stupor and opened her mouth before closing it again.
“You what?”
“I like you.”
“You like me?”
I looked at my hands and shook my head.
“Why is this so difficult for you to get? I care about you Amy…”
Her voice was soft when she spoke.
“I care about you too.”
I stopped what I was doing and looked at her.
“You do?”
She laughed lightly and nodded.
“You sound surprised.”
I shrugged.
“I wasn’t really sure how you felt…plus I’m sort of…uncomfortable with this conversation.”
She grinned at me.
“Okay…so let’s not have this conversation.”
Now I’m confused. My brows furrowed as I looked at her and she scooted her chair closer to me.
“You care about me…I care about you. We’re both single...maybe we should just see where things take us. I know you aren’t good with the emotional stuff, but I also know if you’re here…telling me you like me it’s because you want to try.”
I nodded and took her hand in mine. I felt her entwine our fingers and I glanced down at them as I spoke.
“Yeah…I’m not saying I’ll be great at it…I’m saying I want a chance.”
When I felt her hand squeeze mine I looked up at her and her face was serious.
“It isn’t going to be a 123 thing…it’ll take time.”
I nodded.
“I also think to be fair I have to tell you I’m not ready for sex again yet…”
Her voice trailed off and I swallowed hard.
“I’d never pressure you.”
“I know.”
She was quiet and I gave her a small smirk.
“Let’s start now.”
She frowned.
“Start what now?”
I stood up and pulled her with me.
“Why don’t you get John ready and we’ll take that trip to the park we never made it to last week.”
A smile broke out on her face and I was relieved to see I’d done something right. So far Ricky one relationship zero.
“That’s a great idea. Okay, you find his bouncy chair and I’ll go get him ready.”
I nodded as she took off down the hall to her room. I watched her with a smile. I think there’s an actual shot that this might work out…
(Amy POV)
I was just finishing up changing John when I heard yelling coming from my mom’s room. I frowned. What in the world…I picked John up and carried him out to the kitchen. Ricky was standing there, John’s bouncy seat at his feet and Ashley had just walked through the kitchen door.
“What’s going on? Is that mom?”
I nodded and glanced at Ricky.
“Can you take him for a second while we see what’s going on?”
“Sure.”
I handed John to Ricky and Ashley and I headed towards my mom’s room. We walked in and I go see the panic on dad’s face. My mom was sitting on the bed breathing heavy and they barely noticed us. I brow creased as I spoke.
“What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’m having a baby.”
They spoke at the same time. I turned toward Ashley and she had a worried look on her face. My mom grabbed her stomach, gritted her teeth, and yelled.
“Ahhh.”
I swallowed hard. I reached out and touched her shoulder.
“Mom…mom breath…breath…it’ll help with the pain.”
My dad was calling Moose and my mom glared at him.
“George why don’t you just call 911?”
“I’ll call them.”
Mom looked at Ashley and nodded.
“Thank you Ashley.”
Ashley ran out of the room and mom smiled up at me and dad.
“I think this is really it. I think he’s really coming…”
My dad tried to reach down and pull my mom up, but she shook her head.
“Come on I’ll drive you to the hospital.”
“We don’t have time. I can’t make it to the hospital.”
I glanced at my dad and saw the worry on his face deepen.
“Come on try, try, just lean on me. Just…let’s get in the car.”
I nodded.
“Yeah mom, you don’t want to have the baby here.”
“I don’t want to, but I think I’m going to.”
Another contraction must have hit because she squeezed my hand and screamed. My dad looked panicked again as he spoke.
“Okay…okay just…stay in the bed and everything will be fine.”
I glared at him slightly.
“No it won’t! She needs a doctor and a couple of nurses. Mom do not lay down we have to get you to the car. We have to get you to the hospital.”
She was sweating and she looked so tired. I couldn’t help, but think a few months back that’s exactly how I looked. Her voice broke through my thoughts.
“But Amy I can’t…the baby is coming right now.”
I saw mom grimace again and then Ashley ran back into the room. She swallowed hard before speaking.
“We have a slight problem. Evidently 911 says we’ve cried wolf too many times.”
My mom’s eyes widened.
“George…”
I saw my dad’s facial expression change. He straightened up and spoke in a commanding voice.
“Okay girls, get on either side of your mother and hold her hands. I’m gonna have to deliver this baby.”
Ashley and I looked at him, then each other and started cracking up. Our laughs echoed through the room and he glared at us. Mom didn’t look too convinced as he yelled at us.
“Do it!”
We moved around to sit with mom and she took our hands before looking up at him and talking.
“George can you really do this? Can you really deliver the baby with one hand?”
He nodded.
“I can do this with both hands tied behind my back. You just get ready to push.”
Ashley and I laughed and my mom squeezed our hands lightly.
“Come on guys don’t make me laugh.”
I nodded and my dad got that determined look on his face.
“Come on we can do this, we can…we have to.”
I looked away from dad to Ashley and then mom. He’s right…we can do this…we’re a family and families are there for each other…I just hope everything turns out okay….
(Ben POV)
I sighed as I leaned back in the dentist’s chair. You know maybe getting this chair from Betty wasn’t such a bad idea…it is kind of comfortable. There was a knock on my door. I sighed before opening my eyes. The sight in front of me startled me. I sat up quickly.
“Adrian…hey, what are you doing here?”
She shrugged lightly.
“Your dad let me in…can I come in?”
I nodded and got off the chair.
“What’s up?”
She sat on my bed and crossed her legs.
“Nothing. I’m moving into George’s old house today, Rubens there now unpacking.”
I smiled.
“That’s exciting right?”
She nodded and I frowned. Adrian is usually never this quiet. I know Ricky broke up with her a few days ago and I know she’s been taking it pretty hard, but there’s got to be something else…this just isn’t like her. I blew out a deep breath and sat down next to her.
“What’s going on Adrian? Is everything okay?”
She shook her head and I opened my mouth to say something, but she cleared her throat and cut me off.
“You seem happy for someone who just broke up with his girlfriend.”
I hesitated before speaking.
“Not happy…just…relieved I guess. Things haven’t been going good for Amy and I for a while and I’m not sure that I’m really in love with her…and…”
She cut me off.
“And you met someone in Italy.”
I watched her watching me. I sighed and nodded.
“And I met someone in Italy…”
She nodded and gave me half a smile.
“I knew.”
I frowned.
“How?”
She rolled her eyes and turned her body so she was facing me.
“You’re not that hard to read Ben…did you cheat on Amy?”
I turned away from Adrian and spoke quickly.
“I didn’t have sex in Italy.”
I stood up and leaned against the wall across from her. She crossed her arms over her chest before speaking.
“That’s not what I asked. I asked if you cheated on her. There’s more than one way to cheat Ben…”
I glanced around the room before my eyes finally rested on Adrian. I nodded.
“I met this girl in Italy…and she’s…amazing…I I think I fell for her. It was when Amy and I were fighting a lot and then…well I just decided to enjoy my vacation and I stopped calling…and since then I just don’t know anymore…I can’t love Amy and some other girl at the same time…can I?”
She glared at me slightly, but her voice was calm.
“No, you can’t.”
I pursed my lips together and nodded.
“Yeah…I didn’t think so. She’s coming here…”
Adrian’s eyes widened and she sat up straight.
“The Italy girl?”
“Yea.”
“Is that why you broke up with Amy?”
“Part of the reason. I just don’t know what I want anymore and it’s not fair to string Amy along while I try to figure it out.”
She leaned back on my bed and nodded.
“That makes sense. When’s she coming?”
“This summer.”
“Wow…soon.”
“Yeah.”
I moved away from the wall and lay on my back next to Adrian. I stared at the ceiling and I heard her take a deep breath. I swallowed hard.
“So what’s really going on Adrian? You know you’re always welcome here…we’re friends, but you don’t usually just show up…talk to me.”
Her voice was quiet but I could hear the slight quaver in it as she spoke.
“I think…I think I might be pregnant…with Ricky’s baby…”
Her voice trailed off and I shot up into a sitting position and looked down at her my eyes wide and mouth open. It was one of the first times I’ve ever seen Adrian look so vulnerable. She sat up slowly and a tear slid sown her cheek.
I wrapped a friendly arm around her as she cried. Pregnant...I can’t believe this…what’s going to happen is she really is pregnant with Ricky’s baby? This is ridiculous...If I didn’t hate Ricky before I certainly hate him now…
(Ricky POV)
I paced back and forth with John in my arms. What’s taking so long…I hope Anne’s okay…When’s the doctor gonna get here? When Amy came out of her mother’s room a little earlier to grab some things from the kitchen she told me Anne was in labor and they couldn’t get an ambulance here.
So, when Amy went back in the room to help Ashley and her dad I called the doctor directly and convinced her it was the real thing and she said she’d be over as soon as she could. That was a little over a half hour ago. When she got here I let her and took her to Anne’s room.
That was about twenty minutes ago and still no one came out. I was just starting another round of pacing when the door opened. I froze and Amy walked out with tears in her eyes. I moved toward her and opened my mouth, but she cut me off.
“I have a baby brother…”
She smiled and I grinned. John has an uncle…
“How’s your mom?”
“The doctor’s checking her out, but everything seems good.”
Ashley made her way out of the room and looked between me and Amy. She gave me a small smirk and walked past us towards the kitchen. When I felt Amy touch my arm I turned my attention back to her and raised an eyebrow.
“I’m gonna go help Ashley.”
I nodded.
“Okay.”
I watched her walk away and glanced down at a sleeping John. I heard a noise and I looked up to see George coming out of the room with a baby in his arms. He glanced over at me and his smile was wide. God…I remember when John was that small…I was terrifies to hold him at first. Is wallowed hard.
“Is that him?”
“Yup…Robert Scott Juergens.”
I walked over and George titled his arms slightly so I could see the baby. I gave George and honest smile.
“He’s beautiful.”
“Thanks. My little grandson’s out cold huh?”
I laughed.
“Yeah, he passed out about twenty minutes ago. I just didn’t feel like putting him down.”
He nodded.
“I get that. He Robbie…look here…open those eyes and meet some more of your family.”
His eyes fluttered open and he looked at me and John. I smiled and waved the baby and George chuckled before speaking in a soft voice.
“This is your nephew John…yeah…and this is Ricky…say hi to Ricky.”
The baby’s eyes were on George and so were mine. Did he just call me family? When he noticed I was staring at him he stopped talking to Robbie and looked at me.
“What?”
“You said…you told Robbie to meet his family…”
He nodded.
“Yeah.”
“You…included me.”
He gave me a tired half smile.
“Ricky I told you earlier today…I might not like certain things about you, but you’ve changed…and you’re a good guy. Whether you and Amy get together or don’t, you’ll always have a family here.”
I felt water pool in my eyes and I had to look away for a minute. I hate when I get all emotional like this…I just…I can’t help it. I’ve never had this before…and the part of me that’s always wished I did…is finally happy I think…
I cleared my throat to try and get rid of all the emotion in it.
“Thanks George.”
He patted me on the back.
“No problem. Why don’t you get that kid of yours to bed…I wanna spend a little quality time with my son.”
I nodded and headed towards John’s nursery. You know…I think for once everything in my life is going good…maybe I really can be happy with Amy and John…maybe we can even have a real family…
(Amy POV)
I spent a good half-hour helping Ashley out and making sure mom had everything she needed before heading towards my room. I sighed as I walked down the hallway. Today’s been a long day…I just want to curl up in bed and sleep.
I pushed open my door and raised an eyebrow. Ricky was lying on my bed against the headboard, eyes closed, legs stretched out, and arms behind his head. I cleared my throat and his eyes opened slowly. He smirked. I motioned to my bed.
“You’re in my bed.”
“I’m tired.”
I snorted and walked further into the room.
“So go stretch out on your own bed. I’ve had a long day and I’m exhausted.”
He moved over a little and patted the spot next to him.
“There’s room for you.”
I hesitated. The last time I was in bed with Ricky, John was sick and between us…I wasn’t sure this was the best idea. I mean yeah I like Ricky…I think that much is obvious, but Ben and I just broke up and I’m not sure I’m 100 percent over that yet.
Ricky held out his hand and I slowly climbed onto the bed next to him. I sat there looking at him and his brows furrowed.
“What?”
I shook my head. My voice came out softer than I intended it to.
“Nothing.”
I shifted and leaned against the headboard next to him. I could feel my heart thudding in my chest as he looked at me. He leaned towards me slightly and cupped my cheek. He moved his face in, but stopped right before he closed the distance between our lips. His voice was soft and I could feel his breath against my lips.
“If you don’t want me to kiss you…stop me…”
His voice trailed off, but I was frozen. I couldn’t move away from him. He closed the distance between us and his lips were on mine. They were soft and warm, hard and unyielding. They felt amazing on mine. I moved my body closer to his, reached up and deepened the kiss.
His arm wound around my waist pulling me on top of him. I could feel myself straddling, a hand stroking my back as I ran my fingers through his hair. After a few minutes we broke apart and his lips traveled to my neck. Oh god…I haven’t felt this good since…since the last time I was with Ricky…
When we made John…my eyes snapped open and I moved away from his roaming lips. When he felt me pulling away he leaned back looking slightly ruffled. There was confusion in his dazed eyes and I swallowed hard. We’re not even together and I almost lost control of the situation.
This is why I’m terrified of being with Ricky…he makes me feels things that I can’t even understand…Ben never made me feel this way…like he was air…like I needed him…His voice interrupted my thoughts.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and moved off of him until I was sitting next to him, legs crossed, looking in his direction.
“I can’t do this.”
He nodded.
“Okay…it’s no big deal…we don’t need to have sex Amy…I can…I can wait until you’re ready.”
I looked away from him to try and control my emotions. When I glanced back up there were tears in my eyes.
“No, I mean…I can’t do this…”
I motioned between us and I saw him freeze.
“Amy…”
“No…Ricky…look at what almost happened! If I didn’t stop things…who knows where they would have went? I can’t control myself around you…this…this was a bad idea.”
I went to get up, but he stopped me.
“Amy please…listen…I’m bad at this okay…I just wanted to kiss you…I wasn’t trying to get you to sleep with me…we just don’t seem to be able to stop at the kissing part…which well technically is kinda hot…”
His voice trailed off and I glared at him. He shook his head and gave me sheepish grin.
“Sorry…what I mean is this is new for both of us. You’re right though…things need to go slow…so how about…we just lay here. I’ll stay and help you with John tonight. We can try and get to know each other better…you know we used to be good at the talking thing back in band camp…come on…”
I saw the pleading look in his eye and I let out a heavy sigh.
“Okay…”
He relaxed back on the bed and I let him pull me into his arms. I rested my head on his chest and his body was tense. A few minutes later he relaxed and his voice broke into the silence.
“We good?”
I nodded against him.
“We’re good. Ricky…I’m sorry I freaked out.”
He chuckled and I felt his chest vibrate against me.
“I’m kinda shocked it was you who freaked out and not me…maybe I’m growing up.”
I laughed and slapped him gently.
“Mmm doubtful.”
For the first time in a long time I felt relaxed and happy. I’ve spent months being a bitch to everyone. Having an attitude and pushing people away. Being the complete opposite of the kind of person I am and I think now is definitely the time to make some changes…
“I’m sorry for everything I put you through these past few months…and the rest of my family too. I’ve been so unpleasant…and I haven’t really taken the time to enjoy my time with John…but…I think it’s time for a change…I can’t keep living like this…I’m tired of always being angry.”
He took a deep breath before speaking.
“I think that’s a good idea…I think the three of us need to spend more time together…I know I haven’t been the best guy Amy…but I’m gonna be better for you. I know you don’t think you can trust me…but I’m gonna prove you can.”
I closed my eyes and smiled. I moved closer to him and he tightened his arms around me. I could feel his breath evening out and a let out a content sigh. Things will never be the way they were before I had John…but just because things aren’t the same it doesn’t mean they can’t be better.
It’s going to take time, but at least from here on out I’ll never be alone because that day in the hospital…a family was born…my family…and even though it’s thrown my life upside down and I’ve been complaining a lot…I wouldn’t change it for the world…
LOOK FOR THE SEQUEL “The Start of Something New”, IN JANUARY
I can't find the sequel anywhere I was just wondering if it was up
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