Banner By: Franica
‘Random Conversations are Awkward’
“How often do you masturbate?”
Oliver choked on the Chinese noodles he was currently chewing as he glanced up at his girlfriend from his position behind her desk. His eyes were practically bugging out of his head as Chloe stared at the computer screen in front of her and continued to type while waiting for his answer.
He had stopped by Watchtower about twenty minutes ago with lunch, but she had refused to sit down and eat with him until she finished up what she was working on.
When he was finally able to pick his jaw up off the floor at her completely random question, he sputtered and spoke. “What?” He could see her roll her eyes while shifting over to a new monitor and typing something on the keyboard as she spoke, a hint of boredom in her voice.
“I said, how often do you--” Oliver held a hand up and cut her off. “I heard what you said. I just…I’m confused. I’m sitting here eating lunch and…well who knows what you’re doing over there, but I’m starting to think maybe you’re surfing the web for porn.”
He watched as a grin tugged at her lips before her voice was breaking through the silence yet again. “Well, are you going to answer the question?” Oliver leaned back in his seat crossing his arms over his chest as he studied his girlfriend closely trying to figure out where she was going with this.
He arched an eyebrow, smug look on his face. “How often do you masturbate?” She glanced over her shoulder at him and scrunched her nose. “When you’re in town or when you’re out of town?” Oliver balked at her his mouth dropping open yet again.
“You masturbate when I’m in town...what am I not doing it for you Sidekick?” Chloe had to hide her amusement at his slightly offended tone. “Of course you do…it’s just well…sometimes when I get the urge you’re not around.”
If it was possible Oliver felt like his jaw was permanently detaching itself from his body as it dropped lower at her words. “Not around…well do you ever try calling or texting me when you get the urge or do you just go to phase two and…” he made a motions with his hand, “flick the bean.”
She sighed and turned fully around to face him as she placed her hands against the console and leaned back. “I’m not letting you watch that movie anymore. And seriously how did this conversation become about me? I asked you how often do you masturbate…you…not me.”
He snorted and pushed himself up walking around the desk and leaned back against it, arms crossed over his chest. “Oh no…now I want to know. How often when I’m in town…” She pursed her lips and let out a puff of air with a shrug. “I dunno maybe two or three times a week.”
Oliver frowned. That didn’t make any sense…she was with him most of the week that would mean that…his thought process stopped and his eyes shot up to hers, an aghast look on his face. “Oh my god…do you masturbate while you’re with me?”
She winced and his face stared back at her completely horrified. How was this possible? His girlfriend masturbated while she was with him. Was he not…satisfying her? He was pretty sure she didn’t have any complaints in the bedroom…hell he was Oliver Queen…he made women come multiple times in bed…just to prove he could. Her voice broke through his wandering mind. “Ollie…relax.” He gaped at her his voice a slightly higher pitch than normal.
“Relax? My girlfriend masturbates while she’s with me and she doesn’t even have the decency to wake me up and let me watch…tell me if I went and jacked off in the bathroom in the morning instead of waking you up with an orgasm wouldn’t you be made? Oh my god….you haven’t been…”
His throat closed up as he tried to force out the words. “Faking…it…have you?” Chloe bit her lip to keep from chuckling as she saw panic take over his entire face. She shook her head before speaking not able to keep the humor from her voice.
“Ollie…trust me I couldn’t fake it with you if I tried. Not that you need your ego stroked, but you’re amazing in bed. You do things to me….that I didn’t even know were possible. Like that one night you made me come nine times in a row? I thought my body was going to explode…it was like every time you touched me I came…”
Oliver’s body released some of its tension as he grinned, eyes full of mischief. “Ah yes…the night of nine times. That was a good night. Why haven’t we done that again?” That time Chloe did laugh. “Because I was sore for too long afterwards to have any fun. And we decided that nine times in one night isn’t worth the lack of sexcapades for four days after.”
He nodded, “Ah right…yeah no that’s not good…then again with all the masturbating you obviously don’t even need me….” Chloe rolled her eyes. “Oh stop being such a baby. I know you masturbate…especially when you’re away. Don’t be such a baby about it. Tell me I want to know…god who thought the great Oliver Queen would be such a prude.”
His mouth dropped for about the fifth time since they started this conversation, a new level of incredulousness settling over him. Did his girlfriend, the woman he loved just call him a prude? “I am far from prude Professor…and you know that.”
She nodded and motioned towards him. “Then tell me…how often.” He pursed his lips before speaking. “When I’m out of town probably every day…sometimes more than once if I’m missing you…when I’m in town only when absolutely necessary. I prefer to come inside of you rather than my hand.”
Her eyes darkened slightly as a grin slid onto her lips. “That’s so sweet…and kinda hot.” Oliver did his best not to smile as he shrugged. “Yeah well apparently you don’t feel the same since you know…you masturbate while you’re with me.”
She took a step forward, her movements slow and calculated. He gulped slightly at the look in her eyes as she pressed her body against his; reaching up on her toes as she spoke against his ear, warm breath caressing his skin.
“Do you want to watch….we can make it a game.” Oliver’s throat went dry as he swallowed hard at her words. His eye lids fluttering slightly. “God yes…” He could feel himself harden as his hands gripped her hips. She lifted her head slightly and nibbled on his bottom lip right as the computer beeped.
He groaned and she chuckled. “I guess we’ll have to continue this later tonight.” He shook his head as she pulled free of his arms and walked back over towards the computer. He glared lightly at her back as he motioned to his crotch. “And what am I supposed to do about this…get back over here.”
Chloe glanced over her shoulder and smirked at him. “I’ve got tissues on my desk and the bathroom’s that way.” Her eyes were back on the screen and Oliver stood there flabbergasted by her response. He mumbled, “I don’t like you anymore.” She waved him off as he walked towards the bathroom. “Of course you don’t…”